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boz

What would you do

boz, 29 October, 2008 at 12:09 Posted on Off Topic Posts 0 4

If you thought that someones lifestyle wasnt good for their children.

M split up with her long term boyfriend about 8 months ago, they had a boy now aged 4 together and M also has a 10 year old daughter, since the split M has lived in 3 different houses (rented) because she has trouble paying the rent and moves before she gets kicked out, the house she had with boyfriend got repossessed as niether one was very good with money,

I used to be quite close with M as we had our boys 3 weeks apart and they became friends as they got older,anyway at the beginning everything was fine M got herself a part time job and was coping with single motherhood again, but recently shes fell in with the wrong crowd, shes 25 so still only young and like to go out clubbing, she dosnt have the kids on the weekends as her mom/sister has the girl and the boys dad has him, so shes out everyweekend with her new set of mates getting very drunk,stoned and having various male aquaintences to stay,shes also bragged about having an orgy staged at her house and various other things going on, I know shes into smoking drugs now as this is one of the things that made me decide not to see her socially anymore as she tried to persuade me to try it and when I wouldnt she got the hump and we had words, shes had 3 different men move in with her and the kids,all of which are in this circle of friends,

shes now on a final warning at work for turning up late and hung over on several occasions and I just feel sorry for the kids, shes already had a few letters from the kids school about them being late and absent . I am still on her msn list and occasionally her daughter comes on and talks to me (just general 10 year olds chit chat) but the icons M has on her msn are really quite pornograpic and i dont think a 10 year old should be able to have access to these, I asked the girl where her mom was when I just talked on msn with her and she said, Mom and x ( never heard of x before) are in bed and im doing Ls dinner (L is the 4 year old boy)

Now do i mind my own buissness or should I talk to someone as they are lovely kids and id hate to think of them being neglected or seeing something they shouldnt,

So what would you do

4 replies

Latest activity by Missus Jolly, 29 October, 2008 at 12:44
  • millie&me
    Beginner October 2016
    millie&me ·
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    Not sure quite what to say, but I really feel for you. I posted about a friend of mine a while back who was drinking herself silly pretty much every night and I was so worried about her kids - so I totally understand your concerns.

    I still don't know what the answer is to be honest - and I have wrestled with my feelings about my friend's situation for some time now.

    What is she like when the kids are with her - the example you use about the 10 year old doing the little one's tea - is that normal or is she generally a good mother? Does she leave them unattended or not feed them/clothe/care for them adequately?

    Have a ? x

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  • Missus Jolly
    Beginner October 2004
    Missus Jolly ·
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    I wonder how much of your information is fact and how much gossip. That isn't a critisism of you by the way. I just wonder. Regardless though, the answer is that I would not leave it. The information you have given above is enough to warrant some attention. You have several routes.

    • Are your children at the same school - if so approach the school (a family worker or senior memeber of staff)
    • Call Social Services duty - but not anon if you can help it

    I did put talk to her, but I have just crossed that off. If you are absolutely sure that the stuff above is more fact then hearsay then you have little option. Let a professional decide whether it is relevant or not.

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  • boz
    boz ·
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    Well going on my past experience of her,she was never the most tidiest of people (but that doesnt make you a bad mother does it ) and didnt seem to mind the kids missing school if she was too tired to get up and take them, as for the feeding it seems to be take aways every night and the little boy always looked sickly and thin and always had a bad cough/cold ( he also suffers with astma quite bad)

    but recently I havent seen the kids, we were supposed to get the boys together this half term but she text to say she was busy and hasnt re arranged.

    as for the girl looking after her little brother that is/or was the norm.

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  • boz
    boz ·
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    Belive me if I thought it was gossip I wouldnt have posted about it, most of the stuff I have posted about came straight from the horses mouth, as it were . and on many occasion ive seen her or her man friend at the time roll a joint infront of the kids.

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  • Missus Jolly
    Beginner October 2004
    Missus Jolly ·
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    Social Services then. Particularly re: the 10 yr old cooking for and looking after the four year old,

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