When did your OH decide who to have as his best man?

If he doesn't want to have one he could always have all three as you say, who said you have to have one? Orrr if he doesn't want one at all, he could just have ushers so that everyone's equal.

It was always easy for my OH.. His Brother, as in his words, he's the "Best man in the world".

we've been engaged since xmas 2009 and straight away i knew who i'd have as bridesmaids. my OH has lots of people he can ask but doesnt seem to be in a hurry to decide. they'll decide when they're ready. must be a male thing!!! ha x

Probably since before he knew who he was having as a bride!?

Pretty much our whole wedding has been designed around the best man - certainly the fact that we're getting married in Bali was! BM lives in Perth, WA and as another of our friends are getting married in Sept this year and he will be over here for that, we needed to either wait until 2012/3/4 (no flipping chance!) or go somewhere closer to them, so we opted for Bali.

Can't say I'm too upset about it though!?

We got engaged almost a year ago and OH still hasn't asked his friend to be best man yet. He said to me right from the outset which friend he wants to be best man and who to be ushers. He has seen the friend a few time but in his words "Just hasn't got around to it".

Definitely think it's a man thing. I'm sure

My OH was exactly the same.

I knew the second we got engaged (feb 2010) who my bridesmaids would be.

OH had a shortlist of 5 and only decided about a month ago who was Best Man. 2 of these were people he had been best man for and the other 3 were family so I think he found it hard to choose. At first I was nagging him about making the decision constantly but we kept bickering over it so I shut up for a while and then he came home one day and said he's made his decision and had a drink with the guy to ask him!

So I completely get your frustration but I expect it's just one of those things we have to let them get around to in their own time ?

It is a man thing. My OH decided a few months after we got engaged, but it then took him another month before he asked him as that was the next time he saw him. It was between 2 people for him but really his BM was always the front runner if you like.

If knowing who the BM is doesn't affect other planning at all at the moment I would say leave him to it, he will do it in his own time.

My OH knew straight away who he wanted, but that is probably because he only has one friend. So I wouldn't read much into that!

Thank you!. Some reasurrance that he is not the only one. It has been frustrating me so much but perhaps i should keep my trap shut..very hard thing for me to do though. I might say my idea about having two best men,for some reason he thinks ushers are for church weddings only so it's only going to be one person that is "involved" if you see what i mean. First time i have done the..might as well leave the whole thing though. The stress is staring to kick in big time for me.

My Oh hasn't fully decide about his best man yet either. Intially he was going to ask his dad, but his dad was uncomfortable being best man as he thought he couldn't be both best man and father of the groom....so he has more or less decided who he's going to ask but hasn't asked him yet.

I am rolling about giggling just now, as just as I finished typing the above sentence my OH walked into the room and declared "I HAVE SO DECIDED WHO I'M ASKING, IN FACT I'm GOING TO CALL HIM RIGHT NOW!" RESULT!!!!!

So ladies my advice to you, is if your OH is anything like mine and doesn't like people to think he is lazy/not caring about wedding planning etc you should accidentally on purpose let him see your posts!!!!

My OH narrowed it down to 2 people pretty quickly, and I hoped it would be the one I preferred (my friend first!!) But it took him a few months to finally decide and then he was really nervous about asking him

Not much help but OH had chosen and aske his BM b4 he proposed!

he can have more than 1 BM or a HEad Usher!!

My OH chose pretty much straight away (his brother) although he has one or two really good friends, I think he felt like he had to have his brother. He didnt ask straight away though it took him a few weeks and I had to nag him to arrange to go for a drink with him and ask him. It was the same with his ushers too.

I think its a guy thing - they dont want to admit their feelings and stuff and I asking someone to be part of the wedding is like saying 'you are important to me' which is a bit fluffy for guys to do!

Forgot to add - my cousin in NZ had a best man but also four 'groomsmen' - they weren't there as ushers but to support him and stood at the front of the ceremony with him. He could do that?

Little update,i managed to keep my mouth shut until today!! No mean feat,i then said about having two best men both his friends as his bro is involved in the wedding party anyway. He agreed surprisingly enough,so another problem solved in the skybright household...well until we start the guest list anyway.?