when to ask for contributions to honeymoon in lieu of gifts

You bring it up when guests enquire about gift lists/what you might prefer. No sooner (in my opinion).

We are doing the same - asking for contributions towards our honeymoon instead of a gift.

We have included a couple of sentences explaining this on one of the inserts inside the invitations. Very short and sweet. I wouldn't mention it to any of the guests beforehand unless asked though... x

Ive been wondering this too... most people wont ask for a list as its no a 'normal' thing round here (people will either buy random things or offer to help in some way instead such as making sandwiches for a buffet but I think thats quite low bar for a wedding and much more childs birthday-ish so we would be paying for professional food anyway) but I would rather have useful stuff or just the money the would of spent on supplies than random bits and pieces we most likely already have (who needs 3 new toasters?) or services we dont need but then it seems rude to suggest things ?

p.s your wedding is my birthday lol

We're including a brief sentence on an invitation insert as we've already had a few people asking about it.

*faints*

There might be people who state their gift preferences BEFORE they send out invitations?

This!

? surely not?! I have visions of people handing out gift lists at an engagement party ?

I'm with FTLOMB and Matthews Mummy - only do it if people ask what you'd prefer/if you have a gift list.

I would (and did) put a brief mention on the info sheet you send with your invitations. Yes, it is rude to ask for gifts, but there is no polite way of saying 'please don't waste your money on stuff I don't want' - I personally have neve been offended by such an expression of wish in an invite before, and I also think it would be equally rude to show up to a wedding without a gift. So why beat around the bush?! I have also contributed to a honeymoon and an 'art fund' as wedding gifts in the past and both times those requests were sent via email, although that perhaps is a little too informal!

A lot of travel companies will provide a printed leaflet to pop into your invite - Trailfinders did our daughters with their names and date of the wedding on. It doesn't specifically ask for donations but words it in a way that people who wish to could donate either via their website or over the phone. I honestly can't remember the last time anyone gave out a 'gift' list with actual presents on. In the past we have been asked for B & Q vouchers, Argos vouchers, Ikea vouchers and contributions towards honeymoons as well as just plain cash. I also wouldn't dream of going to a wedding without a gift of some sort and would hate to give something that wasn't used or wanted.

Whatever you do, don't use a poem ;-)

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Whatever you do, don't even mention poems on here unless your hiding under the table LOL!

I'm using a poem to ask for money instead of gifts! I don't think it's rude, it's very common these days.

Everyone I've mentioned it to has thought it's a great idea.

My family and H2Bs family are very upfront and to the point and I know they'll be relieved when they realise they don't have to go gift shopping!

You may find yourself needing to revise that third sentence, as this thread progresses...

ha ha, I'll revise it now! Everyone (except on hitched.co.uk) have thought it's a great idea!

Money poems are twee, tasteless and cringeworthy. Fact.

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Haha I totally agree with Sange! Sorry but it's just not good wedding etiquette.

Wow! It's not a straight forward one this one!

We have pretty much decided to put an insert into the invites stating something along lines of, 'we would love you to come and celebrate our special day with us, if you were wondering about a gift, we would appreciate a contribution towards our fabulous honeymoon. If you were not wondering about a gift, then just get to the church on time and join us in celebrating our special day!'.

I personally appreciate clear instructions regarding social etiquette, having zero social radar.

Regarding the criticisms on using poetry, so much wedding stuff seems to be a huge tacky tat fest, a poem seems the least of the wedding related crimes i have witnessed in planning this day!

Thanks for all the suggestions, good luck to all planning their day.

That sounds OK to me but I'd be tempted to miss out the word 'fabulous' before honeymoon as some people may think that their contribution won't be needed if it's already 'fabulous' if you see what I mean!

If they're very "upfront and to the point," why not just say what you actually want, rather than dressing it up in some awful twee rhyme that doesn't scan and makes you look like you have no taste?

You're exactly right; it is very common.