Who's paying for your hen?

We all paid for ourselves for my weekend away.

I'm paying for myself. I would feel awful if my hens felt they had to pay for me. I've actually booked mine and feel bad asking everybody to give me money for themselves! I hate the thought of my hen do and wedding costing other people money

Not that i actually got to have my shag do as i was poisoned 5mins after arrival (arrived-given wrong drink- allergic reaction- left), mr winter and i both paid for our own entry to the club and mr winter paid for my poison- sorry drink.

i'm MOH for my cousin and when i get around to organising her hen, i'll pay for her. she's happy to pay for herself but it's part of my gift to her. she'd never dream of expecting others to pay and i'll have to fight to be allowed to pay as her gift, but there's no way she'd want her friends covering her.

I felt the same as you. My SIL and bridesmaid is organising everything and apart from helping to choose the location and accommodation, I've been kept ut of everything including costs, they're all chipping in between them to pay for me. I have offered to pay for myself a few times because I don't want everyone else to have to pay but they all insisted. I felt especially bad because I didn't go to my SIL's hen do last year, but this was because the wedding took place in Cyprus a month afterwards which cost me a bomb to go to!

I tried to keep the location and accommodation as low as possible however, quite a few of my friends have kids so only work part time.

Be thankful and enjoy it, you (we) deserve it and you would do the same if you were going on a friend's hen xx

I'll be paying for myself ?

I'm paying for my own night. We're only having a simple night out anyway but my BM offered to pay for the booth hire etc and I insisted I paid my own. Weddings and nights out are expensive enough for people so didn't want that added on

I couldn't imagine my friends paying for me, as they're all pretty hard up, LOL. So we'll each pay for our own stuff. The hen has been kept as cheap and simple as possible, to avoid being too much of a burden to anyone. My hen is tomorrow, btw !!!

Interestingly, I went to a hen last year where we all had to log on to a website and pay for our place on an organised hen trip (through one of those hen/stag companies). From the email instructions (written by the MoH), it was absolutely clear that the Bride's costs had been split and added to the bill for each of the hens, so we were essentially paying £10 each to cover her. All fine and dandy. Except, when I flicked through the web pages for our group (I seemed to have access to quite a lot of detail), it was also clear that the Bride's place was free on the event. As far as I could make out, the MoH (the organiser), had taken the free place for herself, and split the cost for the Bride between everyone else.

I didn't think much of it, until we were all at the hen, getting ready to go out and having a drink, and the Bride happened to be talking about her OH's stag do, and how his best man had paid for his place on the trip, "just like my MoH paid for me".

Ermmmm, really? The MoH looked extremely nervous at this point, looking around the room. I kept quiet. I'm not sure anyone else had bothered to look at the website carefully and knew what she'd done.

(Edited to make more sense!)

I think there's no right or wrongs here. I'm happy to pay for my own as I've chosen to have two nights away and I'm just grateful to have everyone come! I'm sure they will all chip in for some little surprises for me though. We are currently arguing with our other friend who wants to pay for all the accommodation for her hen do for everyone, even though she's not that well off and no one has a problem with paying for their own! We're currently planning to collect the money anyway and somehow make her take it back!

I'm glad there's mixed answers here, as if I had the money I would pay for the whole thing myself but everyone who is coming knows me well enough to know I simply can't afford to do that, so I wouldn't expect my sister to foot the whole bill or any other hen.

I think the problem is the main friend who said everyone else should pay for me is my OH best mate/ best man and OH has no idea where he's going or what he's doing. He does know the date and that he'll be away all weekend and all 20 going to the stag are paying for my OH and it's costing them over £200 with travel, activities and accommodation each. So where mines a lot cheaper. ( but still a lot to me) I think she thinks everyone can afford that compared to the amount the lads are paying. And I'm just greatful their willing to pay what they are to come to my hen as it is!

I've just had my sister round to collect the hen money I owe her from the booking for the spa and there were no hard feelings giving it to her at all

I think everyone has their own views on it but I guess the main thin is every one can afford an are happy with what they pay.

Gosh thats more than a bit cheeky! I hope she bought a couple of rounds of drinks. X

Gosh thats more than a bit cheeky! I hope she bought a couple of rounds of drinks. X

Gosh thats more than a bit cheeky! I hope she bought a couple of rounds of drinks. X

I'm not having one, so no-one! ?

I will be paying for my share but not a clue what we'll do yet lol. X

I'm paying for mine. I planned where we would go - it's turned into a sort of 30th birthday/hen weekend holiday so I didn't feel I could dictate that much then refuse to pay for my own ticket!, MOH is in charge of the details so I'm not sure if there are any more costs for the others. It's a lovely gesture to be paid for but I wouldn't expect it.

OH didn't pay for his stag which was nice (I suspect is was a groom goes free type situation) but he did feel a bit guilty, he is an over generous person sometimes though so I think he made up for it by buying food and drink while they were away.

My hens paid for me. I didn't argue but I made sure I paid for drinks and champagne so I indirectly paid towards it x

I think it is so easy to forget how much a wedding costs a guest - hen do & possible new outfit, wedding transport/accommodation, wedding gift & possibly another new outfit. For my hen do I made sure it was as cheap for everyone as possible with a meal for about £18 per head and drinks on top of that at somewhere locally so they could all share taxis.

I didn't let anyone pay for me (although my sister did in the end) and I was bought drinks by my friends. My friend was invited to two hen weekends (not even nights) within a month and had to pay out a few hundred for each. To then have to pay for the bride as well, then pay for a wedding gift is cheeky in my opinion. I realise that a lot of you may disagree with me as that is what everyone else seems to do but I just wonder how on earth some people manage to afford attending all these weddings!

Chocolate girl- I do agree, wedding can be so expensive for guests. This is why I stuck up for my sister and paid for myself. Only 10 of the 20 girls going to my hen are going to the spa as a lot of my evening hens are the partners of my OH's friends, even though I'm close with them I wanted my best friends an close family at the spa.

The main friend who thought everyone should chip in for me ended up booking me beauty treatments a week before my hen, I'm having my nails done and a top up spray tan as I will Be on sun beds soon in prep for the wedding. I really felt a bit odd about accepting this as everyone is paying for their own part of my hen but she insisted as she said I give so much to everyone around me and forget about myself ( I call it being a mum). So I think that's we way of trying to pay towards my hen if that makes sense?

Like I said before, I'm just grateful everyone is comin and paying for themselves because that's a big enough cost as it is.

I basically said what I wanted to do for my hen weekend and a couple of my friends then organised it as I have been pretty stressed with other things lately.

it was a whole weekend of different activities so people could dip in and out of what they wanted and spend what they could afford.

i paid my own way mostly but the cocktail class and afternoon tea everyone chipped in a couple of pounds extra so I didn't need to pay which was lovely of them.

You sound like a really thoughtful friend/sister. I hope you don't think I was having a go at you, it just made me think of some recent situations where the bride seems to have no thought for others. Your friend who is paying for your treatments sounds lovely! Enjoy yourself (I'm jealous as I've never been to a spa before!)

Oh god no, I didn't take you comment in a bad way at all ha!

I try and think of everyone else it's just who I am and I try and see things from everyone's side as much as possible. I'm blessed with great family and friends so I know they all want the best for me just som have different opinions to what that is or how to achieve it. I wish I had an unlimited bank account as most the girls in my hen party have been there trough thick and fin with me and my OH so I'd like to thank them all for getting us to this point but unfortunately bills must be paid!

I am paying for mine. OH best man booked an paid for his stag a year ago and split OHs cost between them all as it is all a surprise. I have transferred a couple of hundred for him to have while there (going abroad for 5 days!!) to buy people drinks.