Why can't bridesmaids go first???

It really does depend on the individual vicar. I have heard of vicar's before that wouldn't allow it. Bridesmaids after the bride is the traditional British way. (Bridesmaids first is the American way). Unfortunately I don't think there is anything that you can do if that is what your vicar insists on.

Oh, that's unfortunate. I went last and it was lovely that everyone else was in and in their place before we came in?

Bridesmaids last is the tradition in the UK.

Lots of vicars insist on this and I'm afraid it's a case of 'their house, their rules'.

Oh my gosh!!!! I never realised it was the vicars choice who goes first! I really want my BMs to go before me, looks like ill have to sweet talk the vicar! :/

Wow I didn't know that either. My friend had her BMs first but I guess her vicar allowed it!

So glad we're having a civil ceremony!

I never knew that! Thank god i'm a civil cem ! xxx

No, I didn't know of this either...that is a shame. I really want my bridesmaids to go before me but we are having a civil ceremony so should be fine x

This is one of those cases where I think the American tradition is best. I don't really see why a vicar should be bothered either way, but I suppose he's* the boss.

Did she let know him know how upset she was? The only only option is to try to talk him round I think.

*I'm assuming it's a male vicar, by the way.

Oh no, there isn't a legal reason why they couldn't go first, but it is up to the vicar. Could she try to speak with him again and explain her reasons, like the bridesmaids being seen and appreciated, time to calm her nerves at the back of the church etc...

My cousin got married back in may and she said at the rehearsal to a miserable grumpy vicar that she would like the bridemaids first he started shouting that it his church and blah blah, cousin burst into tears and walked out her groom had words and then vicar said we will try it.

Tried it said it looked good and they had it that way.

It's down to the vicar, try sweet talking him/her first!

I didn't realise that it would be such an issue for a vicar. I would have thought it was something they weren't overly bothered about. Maybe I'm sneaky but I would just do it how I wanted on the day, good job I'm having a civil ceremony eh!

Our vicar is really chilled & laid back about what is considered traditional. He said we can go in whatever order we prefer so will be having little people (flower girl & page boy) then bm's then me...that way they all get thier moment too. If they're all behind me, chances are people wont notice them as much.

I guess it's just a case of asking the vicar very nicely & telling him/her how much it means that the bm's go first! Good luck x

Haha I just don't want mine to steal the focus from me! Can't be having people looking behind me when walking down the aisle! ?

Oh no this has me worried because i really want my bms to go first. Better have a word with the vicar ️

^^^this [laugh]

He's hardly going to stop them and send them back is he?

ETA, WTF happened to my font size?!

Oh no what a shame! I think it's lovely when the bridesmaids go first! My sister was married in a civil ceremony and the Registrar had insisted she go first but she reasoned that we had never been bridesmaids before and we were all really excited about it etc etc and she finally backed down....although wasn't happy about it one bit! The bridesmaids deserve a bit of the limelight as in my opinion they're there not just to "make up the numbers with best man and ushers" or just be in photos. All my bridesmaids are involved in every aspect of our wedding and their opinions are very important to us.....they're there through the laughter, tears and excitement which builds up to the day....not to mention over the years as family/friends!! The thing I worry about is that the guests will either not even bother to give them the attention they deserve....or they will be too busy looking at them to take in the lovely moment when the happy couple see each other for the first time.

But I fully appreciate that it's the vicar's rules xx

Yep, it's just up to the vicar really.

I actually want to go first (I don't really know why though) so it doesn't bother me that much.