Why do a small proportion of the male population do this?

I certainly dont do this. i think its hideously disrespectful of someones personal space, and from what i ve seen, many women find it quite scary. i normally see it when men are in groups though, or in cars together as opposed to being alone. i m not sure what they think is going to happen? "oh yes, thank you so much for impeding my progress with your hey baby, would you like me to suck you off?"

I think they think they'll engage the woman in conversation somehow, and find her attempts to extricate herself from the situation amusing. I agree, it's threatening and unpleasant, especially as one doesn't know whether it's best to ignore, smile, say "home", tell them to *** off or what.

I get this sometimes and I don't like it at all. Like you I am confident and walk with my head held high, but now, if I am approaching a group of men/boys I put my head down and quicken my pace.

I was just walking to my local shop on Sunday, about 8pm. I live in a fairly small community, so feel safe walking late at night on my own. On my way there a groups of lads, late teenagers/early 20's blocked my path and started talking at me in a really menacing way. It was horrible, They followed me into the shop and were making comments about my t1ts and sexual positions. I was wearing really scruffy clothes, so they couldn't see my shape.

Looking back I wish I had told the shopkeeper, but what would he have done? There is nothing the police could have done. When I left the shop I ran all the way home and burst into tears, it was horrible.

Well exactly. You know, I would really love to ask one of them what they think is going to happen when they do this. What do they think I'm going to do? Happily wonder off into the nearest dark alleyway with them?

They even do it when I'm walking along with H, which is worse as he's in the position of having to defend me and that can turn quite nasty.

Every man I've ever asked can't explain it.

It only happened once with a group of 16 yr olds I told em to f off.

Sophie - I know what you mean. I feel like telling them to f off, but then that might turn it nasty.

Sparks - that's really horrible and frightening. They were bang out of order.

your right about that - its a really thin line to walk. its happened to us a number of times, which i cant really understand. i m a big bloke, 6'5 and broad, and judging their motivation and potential action can be very difficult. it happened once in spain, when this guy started walking alongside us, with his hey baby etc. unfortunately mrsnick isnt very tolerant of things like this, and said "fuck off" loudly, to which he became really aggressive. i had to quickly push her behind me, square up to him and put my hand on his chest and push. it worked, though he kept calling after us saying how he was going to kill us ? (which at that point was amusing more than anything).

the worst one was last year at a function, when i overheard two guys talking about her in very crude terms. i ended up picking one of them up and chucking him against a wall. in fact i posted about it on here.

I remember that. I can't recall exactly what was said, but tbh if two guys choose to have a conversation about me in crude terms and I can't hear it, there's no harm done really.

I think when there's a man with the woman they're trying to provoke an entirely different kind of confrontation. In any event, they're neanderthan fcukwits.

You have a lucky Mrs I'd love to see Mr Whitetiger defend me like that ?

youre right - but i heard it, and not only was it disrespectful, but downright crude and unnecessary. i wouldnt talk about a woman that way with a male friend, and i (literally) saw red mist.

My 5'10 Filipino husband is unlikely to have quite the same effect. ?

H is very affable, and good at calming things down, which is his usual tactic. Often I just hiss at him to keep walking and we duck into the nearest shop or pub or wherever.

would you really? i wouldnt - i would be grateful to have someone protect me if i really needed it - but mrj has lost his temper with people occasionally and i found it very stressful and frightening

I think it's a combination of macho bravado and a power trip. I have written to the site manager, copied to their head office, of two building sites recently because of continued harassment that I face trying to get to work. (I have to walk past one or the other to get to my office). It got better for a while, but it's bad again. I try to ignore it, but it makes me furious. It's so demeaning.

You know what lou, i d go to the police about it.

Agreed. Mr numbers is usually very good at calming situations down and is usually quite placid but he is very protective of me and has squared up to people before when they've upset me. It's very frightening.

That's certainly an option. I'm going to speak to my office manager and ask her to write on behalf of my firm threatening police action, because having just discussed this with some female colleagues, it seems I'm not the only one.

WJS. MrHB is very laid back but would defend me to the death. I'd worry about him getting hurt, or really badly hurting someone else. Happily, he looks like a violent arms dealer at the best of times so we don't get a lot of hassle.

If I have ever been in a situation like that then I try my very best to handle it myself and not to get Mr Mal involved as he is akin to Phil bloody Mitchell sometimes. I am usually OK but on one occassion I couldn't get rid of this guy who was perstering me and it got a bit ugly. Not nice at all.

Our uni flats were right next to a building site and I and every girl I knew there used to dread having to walk past it because of that sort of behaviour. I called the company's local office to complain and the receptionist was sympathetic and helpful. She wanted to give me the number to speak to the site manager. I told her I didn't feel like talking to him as, for all I knew, he could have been one of the main culprits, so asked her if she would talk to him, explaining that I would go to the police if it didn't stop by the end of the week. She agreed and it obviously worked because we didn't hear a peep out of them from the next day onwards.

So maybe calling would be more effective than letters.

Council site workers can lose their jobs for it (or so I'm told) so it makes me angry to think that private company workers can get away with it.

Maybe I should be bothered that I don't get this lol! I do get the odd 'cheer up' or 'it can't be that bad', maybe because I have an angry expression, it makes me want to hit someone rather hard.

I haven't had any trouble since we moved to this village. When we lived in Derby however I had loads of problems and we didn't live in a bad area of town really. I once had a guy follow me most of the way home. And I once walked past some scaffolding only to be hooted and hollered at. It sounded like a pack of baboons were up there. There were also some builders round the corner once who I had a heated exchange with. I walked a different way to work for a week so I wouldn't have to walk past them again.

It used to really annoy H. He's a bit more relaxed about it now, but if it's someone in the street and he's there he'd defend me and has ended up in a fight in the past over it. He used to complain he didn't like me going out with him because he then felt obliged to defend me and ended up in more confrontations! I've actually had a man try to start a fight with me in a club because he kicked my bottom and when I told him to f off he squared up to me!?

I don't know why they do it either. Obviously not been brought up properly. I can tell you though that there are girls who do it. On a recent night out in Middlesbrough H and his friends were harangued with 'show us your ***' type remarks, which him and his friends just laughed off. After all, it's not very endearing.

One thing though, in Derby I took to walking with my head down til H emntioned that I ddin't walk as nicely as I used to. When I explained to him he said that I should continue to 'walk tall' and not let it affect me. So I still walk with my head held high. I don't get any comments now I'm walking most places with a pushchair either. I always feel a bit vulnerable when I'm somewhere without Harriet, it's like she's my safety shield in a bizarre way.

I HATE this, but have a funny example of recent revenge (albeit embarassing for me too). I have in the past retorted with 'no I won't cheer up, my family have just been wiped out by a freak cyclone' type comments, which are generally either not really picked up upon or believed, but I had no need to pretend a couple of weeks ago. I was having a TERRIBLE day in an AWFUL week, and I had PMT (which makes me cry at the drop of a hat anyway), so when the man, selling copies of a glasgow newspaper in the street, said 'cheer up darling, it might never happen', I stopped in the street and burst into floods of tears, snivelling and gulping like a crying baby. I pulled myself together and moved on quite quickly, but not before catching the look of utter mortification on the man's face.

?, wish I'd have seen his face. We were once walking through Cardiff and a man said it to me, I was with my mum and my sis and had a stinking cold. My mum turned round and said rather curtly 'she has a cold y'know'??

Something similar happened to me. Grandad had died the night before, my parents went to collect the death certificate from the hospital. I had let my mum and dad out of the car and I was waiting on a car park space, accross from the Royal Infirmary which is really busy. Someone pulled into a space right in front of me and almost took the nose of the car. I just broke down into floods of tears and the guy got out the car and said "FFS it's not like someone died is it?" And I shouted back "yes, someone did ACTUALLY" and cried some more. You should have seen his face, he looked like he wanted the ground to swallow him up. Some workmen were nearby and came over to check on me, I raised my head up from the steering wheel which was now covered in tears and snot to see a big hardhat looking in at me. Bless them.... ?

I was just going to post this, I don't get any comments like this or trouble from lads when I'm out. [obvioslyuglypigicon], but i also get the 'cheer up love' sometimes.... perhaps because I usually stick my head down and walk quickly?
The only think I have ever heard is an old bloke about 80 make a vile comment about me once when I had skinny jeans and boots on <shudder>

Do you think it's an exclusively male thing?

I've seen Hen's (and associated party members) do things that would almost certainly be grounds for a sexual assault charge... And they'll usually be vitriolically nasty, if not violent when pulled up for it.

There are just some twonks in the world.

It's a power thing, isn't it? Regardless of the gender involved. Power and ranking.

yep, and usually laden with huge insecurity.

Definatly not just a male thing, women can be just as bad if not worse!

I have frequently thought about this, and I have found this mostly happens to me in busy clubs/bars.

I can only assume that it must work sometimes, or surely they wouldn't carry on trying??

I'm pretty certain it's not because they fancy whoever they've just intimidated...

Some delightful youth shouted something at me this lunchtime - I'm not sure but it sounded a bit like "Show us yer minge"

I'm currently 4 months pregnant, so I'm getting fatter but not looking pregnant and am wearing my baggiest clothes - not an attractive look.

There's only been once or twice when men have tried to approach me - normally in a pub or club - or just outside in the smoker's area as may be - but I've just flashed my rings at the guys in question and that's that..

The funniest time I have to say was when I was walking down the street, and an elderly Jamaican guy came cycling down the road going <jamaican accent> Alright dear?</jamaican accent>. Really made me giggle!