Why do people just assume????????

I don't know, I'm not in the same situation as you.. I'm inviting the cousins on my dad's side of the family as evening guests only, and even though we don't see each other except at weddings and funerals, I still feel kinda bad. I'm going to have to call them up and explain the situation, that we can only have a maximum of 62 guests for the ceremony and meal. Actually, I'm still hoping we'll get enough no's to bump them up as a group before I send out the evening invites.

I think in your case, I'm wondering if you might consider making them evening invites? Otherwise you really are going to have to explain it to them. I don't know that it's necessarily wrong to assume an invitation to a family member's wedding. Don't get too worked up about it, it's not like they're demanding an invite.

I dont want them there. They dont talk to me - EVER!!

It costs me to have them there in the evening and I have alot of friends and my mums side of the family coming, that know me, my OHs name, where we live and we actually see them! We would do anything for the people coming to our wedding and visa versa!

The aunties not invited never helped my mum when her husband died (my dad) - their brother! My mum lost her husband at a very young age and she had me and my little brother to look after. Local neighbours helped her out when she needed people to look after us when she went to work.

I suppose familys are all different, but I am annoyed as to why anyone/ very distance family members included would assume you want them at our wedding!

Its annoying isnt it!

peopl ekeep saying "ooooh i'll buy a hat" to which i think "oh well i'm sure you'll lovely wearing your hat sat at home watching corrie!!!

LOL!!!!

This has aslo been annoying me! Why do people think that because of an accident of birth that makes you related that they're automatically on the guest list? My OH has had no contact for 10 years with certain family members but they're upset (apparently) about not receiving an invitation! And one of OH nieces piped up with 'it's my birthday that weekend, can I bring a couple of mates?' Er, no, we haven't even put plus 1 on the invitation cos you're not with anyone, why would we want a couple of your random mates at our wedding?

Families!

I had exactly the same situation, where my dad died when I was young. I never saw or heard from some relatives on his side. Only at the occasional funeral, or at another relatives 90th one year. I invited them to our engagement party & didnt hear a thing. No card, no phone call to appologise as didnt get the message, no word at all. Over the years my mum had also invited them to Christmas, birthday & other celebrantions, but they'd never call to say they werent coming.

I didnt invite them to our wedding. I then got a card from them wishing us good wishes for the wedding! They also sent one to my mum. I can only guess they saw another relatives invite & saw that my mum was hosting the wedding.

I was flabbergasted having NEVER had a phone call, birthday card, or ANY contact directing in my whole life. I personally think this was their way of saying they knew we were getting married, & making us aware that THEY werent invited. Just because we are related by blood doesnt mean they are seen as my relatives.

After our wedding, I sent a thankyou card back to them, thanking them for their good wishes, & pointing out how surprised I was to hear from them on this occassion, having not heard a thing from them in all the previous years! I've not heard a thing from them since.

If you could be bothered, I'd send emails back saying that you are having a wedding with family & friends that you have regualar contact with, & as you havent seen/heard from them in years, didnt think they wanted anything to do with you. Dont feel pressured to invite them, pay for them, then once again hear nothing from them.

Families eh! I would never assume...never message someone to see where my invite was!

Im never invited to anything they do - even when its announced on FB! I dont take offense and actually dont care.

Its very sad that my family and others families are like this, but like you say - just because we are related by blood doesnt make them family!

Im glad you stuck to your guns and didnt have them there.

I just called my mum and told her, and she was surprised and annoyed and has told me to have the people there that I want there!!

I personally think this was their way of saying they knew we were getting married, & making us aware that THEY werent invited.

I don't know why anyone would assume they are invited if they haven't spoken to you in years! I actually hate it so much when people make comments assuming they're invited. My Oh and I agreed not to let anyone falsely guilt us into an invite. We aren't putting anything about our wedding on Facebook just incase some unwelcome blast from the past decides to contact us.

At least you're mum is being sensible about it and not just caving to them.

See I'm on the other end (sort of).....I have one family member who I don't get on with. I was totally flabbergasted when I was invited to their wedding as we'd not spoken in 10 years! I declined and haven't been invited to anything since. This suits me. But I find it odd that they felt that just because it was their wedding I'd go.....completely irrelevant of what they had done 10 years earlier!

Sorry.....having a little rant on my own there! Needless to say....families! Pfff!

Just dont send them one im the same im not inviting any of my dads side as i NEVER see them other thn funerals and dont even get a xmas card! just send them their evening one and dont worry x

I know what you mean...i dont speak to half of my family and neither bother to keep in touch so im not inviting them and im not feeling bad....one of my cousins said oooh good glad your getting married i need a good piss up i was fuming and felt like saying well your not coming anyway.....

they just assume just cos they are family they automatically receive an invite...ive got more friends coming than family x

Being tied by blood does not entitle you to an invite. Being in regular contact, supporting people through diffifcult times and laughing with them through good times, gives you far more right to be there, whether you are a relative or not! God knows why people just assume, but they have no right to!