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fancyfree
Beginner April 2010

Why our wedding is not the most important thing in our lives anymore

fancyfree, 20 January, 2010 at 15:58

Posted on Planning 121

As you may know, me and H2B have been having a tough time of it - with having to move 5 weeks before the wedding and H2B's recent car accident (in which the person causing the accident drove off). We looked towards the wedding as a fixed, happy point to work towards. Yesterday, my H2B had an...

As you may know, me and H2B have been having a tough time of it - with having to move 5 weeks before the wedding and H2B's recent car accident (in which the person causing the accident drove off). We looked towards the wedding as a fixed, happy point to work towards.

Yesterday, my H2B had an ultrasound scan and was diagnosed with testicular cancer. Today he saw the consultant, tomorrow he has a full body CT scan and bloods to see how far progressed it is and on Friday he will be undergoing surgery to remove his testicle. The tumor will then be biopsed and following that there may be reason for chemotherapy or radiotherapy. Early indications are that as bad as this news is, it is the best we could have hoped for. It doesn't appear to have spread to his liver, other testicle or lymphnodes and his chest X-ray showed that his lungs are clear.

We intend to proceed with the wedding as planned, but of course we don't know what shape his treatment will take. Now we have his operation date for Friday, I feel I can come here and tell you all. You've been helpful and practical so far, and I may need your advice in the coming weeks.

I know this news might leave you lost for words, it did me. I just love my H2B so much, and we're determined to get married and be stronger for it all. In sickness and in health, eh?

--

Hello Brides and Brides to Be!

I expect there's a whole new crew here now, but I just wanted to update you all to let you know that my husband (yay!) has just had his ONE YEAR ALL CLEAR.

We are extremely happy, and I wanted to say again how wonderful the hitched girlies were and I won't forget your kindness.

I'd also like to take the opportunity to say hello to all the new brides-to-be and ask them to get their fiancés to check their balls every month. Testicular cancer mainly happens to young men (16-40) and you just don't know that you're ill. My H2B's lump was painful which is why he noticed, but they USUALLY ARE NOT painful. Check, and make sure they check regularly so that they know what is normal and what is changing.

If you want to have a look at my wedding report, it's still here. Most emotional day of our lives, and long may our marriage continue!

Best of luck with your planning and forthcoming weddings.

121 replies

  • jem179
    Beginner May 2010
    jem179 ·
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    Ff, I'm sorry to be adding my good wishes so late to this thread. It's an awful thing to happen but I hope that after today you get the best possible news in the circumstances.

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  • Amethyst
    Beginner October 2010
    Amethyst ·
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    Really sorry to hear about this - must be a horrendous time for you and your loved ones. Hope it works out as well as it can X x

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  • M
    Beginner July 2010
    meggles24 ·
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    Thinking of you both- really hope today goes well and you make a speedy recovery x

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  • J
    Beginner July 2010
    janbonjovi ·
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    Thinking of you at this difficult time and fingers crossed for today.

    xx

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  • flutterbye
    Beginner
    flutterbye ·
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    I'm very sorry to hear about this - hope everything is going well today *hug*

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  • fancyfree
    Beginner April 2010
    fancyfree ·
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    Hello everyone,

    First of all I want to say thank you to you all for your obviously heartfelt best wishes. I also want to say thank you in particular for the stories a lot of you have shared and a lot of the advice given. I have taken it on board and yesterday put out an SOS for groceries and as I came home just now for an hour or two I found my fridge full of fruit and vegetables (we've been living in takeaways).

    So, an update. This morning we went for the hurriedly-arranged surgery. The surgeon did the pre-op assessment and he said that the affected testicle was nothing but cancer any more. They moved the operating list around so he would have surgery in the morning early as he was nil by mouth since last night (while some patients had had breakfast!) and he was unlikely to need a bed overnight, thus earlier operating would keep a bed free.

    I pottered around the hospital for hours and hours and hours, from about 10am. At 1pm H2B sent me a text that said "Go go go" which meant he was on his way to theatre. As you may or may not know, H2B is a doctor and so it's been a bit odd spotting friends and having to explain why we're there in a patient capacity, but today I met one of our friends and she distracted me for a whole hour between 1 and 2 (which is much longer than she ever takes for lunch!). She said she'd arranged her postponed smear test and had told all her male friends to check themselves. After she went back to work at 2pm I phoned up to the ward, but H2B was still in theatre. At 3pm I phoned the ward again and they said he was still in recovery, but was awake (that news was SUCH a relief) and I could come up and wait for him.

    So at just past 3pm, he was wheeled in and was quite alert and very very very well. I stayed with him till 4pm while he had various observations and things and left him once he was given morphine and went all woozy and sleepy and happy. His scar is sore and itchy (they had to shave him!!) but he's so relieved he has had the cancer removed.

    I'm at home changing the bed and making some dinner for when he returns. He has to wait to see the surgeon again for a debrief, which could be a few more hours.

    We've just this second had news that the radiologist has filed his report about H2B's CT scan and it is "clean as a whistle". And while we're not breathing a big sigh of relief just yet, we're glad to not be holding our breath.

    From here, we have to wait for the outcome of the biopsy and H2B has to keep going for weekly bloods to check the cancer markers. This will determine what the next step is, whether that's chemotherapy or continued observation.

    What I mainly want to say now is ....

    TALK TO YOUR HUSBAND, FIANCE, BROTHER, UNCLE, DAD, NEPHEW, SON (etc!) AND REMIND THEM TO CHECK THEMSELVES. It mainly happens to young men (16-40) and you just don't know that you're ill. My H2B's lump was painful which is why he noticed, but they USUALLY ARE NOT painful. Check, and make sure they check regularly so that they know what is normal and what is changing.

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  • C
    Beginner May 2011
    Curly Panda ·
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    Hey ff, glad the inital tests have allowed tyou to stop holding your breath quite so much now and that he has rallied round after surgery. i hope you get good news from the consultant. im always on at OH to keep checking and am pleased to say that he does check constantly, infact he want to gp not so long ago with a lump which thankfully turned out to be nothing. you are one strong lady, if i had half the amount of strength and courage the both of you have i'd be on to a good thing. lots of hugs, cp and OH xx

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  • S
    Beginner May 2010
    shwayney ·
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    What a relief he has had the op and now waiting to come home. Look after yourself, and your patient too.

    Fingers crossed for your next consultation with the Dr.

    Big hugs ?

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  • S
    Beginner January 2009
    sarahv75 ·
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    Hey fancyfree, just wanted to send lots of well wishes and good luck hugs your way. I've known a few people who have battled with cancer (friends and family) and so I know how much of an awful time it is for all involved. I also lost a friend to cancer last year, and remember how awful all the waiting to get tests and surgery done, and then waiting for results etc. Really glad things are moving quickly and that your H2B has had his op now. Hope he comes home soon. Take care of yourself too xxx

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  • bluewater
    Beginner August 2009
    bluewater ·
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    Ff, i'm so sorry to read your news. but i'm so glad to hear that your h2b's CT scan is clear, hopefully this will mean a swift and trouble free recovery. i hope they've caught it early enough for surgery to be the only treatment necessary.

    sending you big hugs lady x

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  • lisaloulou
    Beginner
    lisaloulou ·
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    Oh fancyfree, I am so so sorry you are both going through this. Lots of vibes to your H for a speedy recovery x

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  • Broody_wife
    Beginner
    Broody_wife ·
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    Oh Fancy free glad the surgery went well, and thats good news his scan was clear! I bet you can't wait to have him home. Make sure he rests, as I know men hate to be bed ridden.

    LxXx

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  • Mrs C
    Beginner March 2011
    Mrs C ·
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    So glad that the surgery went well and that you found that these posts helped... x

    I will certainly be reminding every bloke I know to check...

    Love & Hugs xxx

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  • Katie V
    Katie V ·
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    Hey FF

    Just read all of this - it's an awful & stressful thing, but things look a bit brighter for you. My grandad had testicular cancer when my mum was 4 years old & after surgery he then went on to live a normal life for many, many years! So finger's crossed all will be ok for you & H2B.

    Keep us posted.

    K.

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  • Houdini
    Beginner August 2010
    Houdini ·
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    I am keeping my fingers firmly, firmly crossed for you both.

    Best wishes. x

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  • sdwrds
    Beginner July 2010
    sdwrds ·
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    I'm so glad that the surgery went well and that the initial tests are clear. Hope you both can relax a little now.

    Sending you both the best wishes and as RaeF said "fingers firmly crossed"

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  • fancyfree
    Beginner April 2010
    fancyfree ·
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    Hello Brides and Brides to Be!

    I expect there's a whole new crew here now, but I just wanted to update you all to let you know that my husband (yay!) has just had his ONE YEAR ALL CLEAR.

    We are extremely happy, and I wanted to say again how wonderful the hitched girlies were and I won't forget your kindness.

    I'd also like to take the opportunity to say hello to all the new brides-to-be and ask them to get their fiancés to check their balls every month. Testicular cancer mainly happens to young men (16-40) and you just don't know that you're ill. My H2B's lump was painful which is why he noticed, but they USUALLY ARE NOT painful. Check, and make sure they check regularly so that they know what is normal and what is changing.

    If you want to have a look at my wedding report, it's still here. Most emotional day of our lives, and long may our marriage continue!

    Best of luck with your planning and forthcoming weddings.

    ?

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  • 3d jewellery
    3d jewellery ·
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    Congratulations to you both on the 1 year all clear

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  • tinks269
    Beginner February 2011
    tinks269 ·
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    WOW I wasnt on here when you went through all this, but my heart totally went out to you as I read through the post. I just wanted to say how pleased I am for the both of you that you have had the one year all clear. ALthough I am guessing you will never stop thinking what if or I wonder it must be a massive relief to know. xx

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  • 1Lucie
    Beginner May 2011
    1Lucie ·
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    Omg how terrible! Cant imagine what you are both going through! Good luck with his treatment and stay positive!

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  • The Sock Chicken
    Beginner August 2010
    The Sock Chicken ·
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    Thanks for the update. So pleased for you both xx

    Can I crash a little and add to what you said about men checking their balls? Not going to explain in your thread but can I also remind all the women here to make sure their smear tests are uptodate.

    Congratulations again. Can't believe it's been a year!

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  • Rebecca86
    Beginner July 2012
    Rebecca86 ·
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    So happy you got the one year all clear!

    Here's to a clear future xx?

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  • Tanya77
    Beginner August 2011
    Tanya77 ·
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    So pleased for you Fancy! OH actually found a small lump last weekend and although he's a very private person, he did the sensible thing of going to get it checked at the doctors yesterday. Thankfully it's most probably a cyst - he just has to have an ultrasound to confirm this. My heart sank when he first told me though - it certainly makes you get your priorities straight... I just keep giving him random hugs all the time now ?

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  • Mrs C
    Beginner March 2011
    Mrs C ·
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    Oh I am so happy for you both... I was only thinking of you the other day - how weird?!

    ?

    oh and don't forget the breast checks too girls... only take a minute in the shower x

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  • stripeyrache
    Super February 2011
    stripeyrache ·
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    I wasn't here when you were going through all of that, but it brought a little tear reading it (and your wedding report is lovely - love the Crescent photos!). I'm so pleased for you that he's a year all clear!! And thank you so much for sharing, I just had H2B strip down to check himself ?

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  • Broody_wife
    Beginner
    Broody_wife ·
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    FF ? Hello!!! How are you lovie? I still pop back now and again and I'm so glad to hear your H has been given the all clear!! ? xxx

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  • Houdini
    Beginner August 2010
    Houdini ·
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    What a brilliant update to have!

    I will also echo the getting men to check themselves - BIL had testicular cancer at 18 so it's not an old persons illness.

    Also ladies - check yourselves too in all the relevant places!

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  • AllyMcBear
    Beginner June 2012
    AllyMcBear ·
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    Glad to hear your update - brilliant news x

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  • lisaloulou
    Beginner
    lisaloulou ·
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    Absolutley fantastic news, congrats on the one year all clear!! (I am gobsmacked this was a year ago, doesn't seem that long ago at all).

    Here's to a very bright and happy future as husband and wife!

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  • J
    Beginner November 2011
    JST ·
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    Oh what lovely news! Congratulations!

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  • jojo2
    Beginner June 2012
    jojo2 ·
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    Thats really good news, happy for you both!

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  • MrsBear2b
    Beginner August 2011
    MrsBear2b ·
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    That's wonderful news. Even though I wasn't here last year when you were going through all of this, I'm glad that I can be here now to congratulate you both on working through it so well to battle such a terrible disease.

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