Worried about wedding and thinking of cancelling

What time is your wedding?

i wouldnt worry it will be fine,i dont like being centre of attention either im quite shy.so dont cancel youll only regret it,how many have you invitedx

It will start at 3pm, although i am thinking i could push it back til 3:30pm.

I have invited 60.

Was going to have extras to the evening, but thinking of not bothering

Ours is at 4,all depends on if you really want the evening guests there because you might regret it on the night and wish they were there.and im sure by the night you would be more relaxed and therefore wont worry so much about the crowds

In all honestly you'll be fine!

I'm the same as you (exactly the same) when I got married the first time it was a BIG wedding and I was fine, I didn't really notice the things that usually bother me.

This time I'm having a small wedding (18 people) but thats due to where we want to have the wedding and only wanting to invite friends and parents so no great aunt pat etc. We're then having a blessing with 50 people when we get back mainly to satisfy family.

I'm sure you'll not notice the things you hate as you'll be too happy with being married!

At your wedding it wont be a crowd it will be 60 friends and family, you'll know each and every face and that's what will set your wedding apart from your friends wedding this weekend

I agree with this. They will (I assume) be people you care about and want there. Also, they will be chatting to each other and catching up so apart from in the service (when you will be too busy concentrating on your other half to notice) they won't spend the whole day looking at you specifically. they will be enjoying themselves.

I have panic attacks sometimes and at big events like weddings, parties etc I get very anxious and can make myself quite unwell. We went to a friends wedding 8 days before ours and wanted to leave by about 8! Our day started at 1 till midnight and I was ok! I didn't eat a thing all day as food makes it worse for me and I did have a slight wobble at dinner time but went for some air and was fine! It did hit me the next morning though and I couldn't even go for breakfast! I also hate attention and was dreading it but its kind of weird as I didn't notice it so much on the day! Just try to relax and enjoy it, Hope this makes sense!

If you feel that bad about it rather than cancel all together have less guests people will understand at the end of the day its about you and h2b saying those vows to each other if that means its in front of 2 or 202 its an awful feeling but i bet like the other have said you will be so engrossed in the moment you wont even notice and they will all be people you know, good luck x x

Crowds are random strangers. Friends are people you know.

Assuming that most of the people you've invited are people you know (or are at least partner/child of someone you know such as a work colleague but may not have met) then they aren't strangers, surely?

I hate crowds as well but I've got to stand up in front of 124 people and give a speech. At least during the ceremony I can concentrate on my b2b/new wife, and just the registrar, blocking out everyone around me.

You'll be fine. Honest

I agree that you will be fine amongst your own family and friends. You were probably more aware of all the people and the length of the day as you were a guest but I guarantee your day will be a blur and go past so fast you will wonder where the time went and perhaps wish you had longer to celebrate the day.

I am sure it will be fine - i did worry abotu this a bit myself because i hate being centre of attention but actually i'd be surprised if once the vows are over people will still be giving me all that attention they will be speaking amongst themselves for hte most part!!!

I'd agree with what others said about when it's friends and family, it's not a crowd.

But if you're still worried, why not take the old fashioned route and plan an early escape at say 8pm - but if you're loving it then stay on? No-one but close friends need know in advance, and others can carry on partying afterwards...

Thanks for the reassurance. I knew I could count on here to make me worry a little less.

An early get away would be perfect for me, but I know OH really wants to stay and make the most of the day

I was worried about this. The same issues were making me anxious, BUT, on the day, i found it to be a totally different atmosphere and feeling, as everyone there are people you know. Friends and family. Everywhere you look will be people who care about you. You will be fine trust me ?

Hi Moonpie,

You are going to be just fine...I promise.

I am very similar to you in that I get very agitated in crowds so we have only invited 38 guests (family and a few friends only) and are having our wedding ceremony at 4pm. We arent having a separate evening do as such because, like you I hate being the centre of attention. In respect to the 'extras' we are having a fun casino and a caricature artist to keep our guests entertained and take some of the limelight off us so the only part I have to psych myself up for is the ceremony itself and photos. I have a fantastic bridal party who have been charged with taking care of me and we are all going to the venue to night before so I can get into the 'feel' of it.

It is really easy for everyone to say you will be ok - only you know how you might handle it but I think it will be worth it and when I'm walking down the aisle I will only be focusing on H2B!

On another note if you are really worried why don't you book an appointment with your GP? I did this earlier this year as I was having some horrible anxiety attacks whenever people mentioned the wedding and I was unable to sleep because of them. I have been prescribed some medication to help with the attacks and instead of having them daily I maybe get one a week now which is far easier for me to deal with. My GP has been fantastic and even if you just have a chat with them you may feel a bit better knowing you have unbiased support.

I hope you don't cancel it, it would be such a shame. Maybe you can cut your guest list down and arrange the extras for the evening?

LoL, Sarah xxx

Hi Moonpie,

You are going to be just fine...I promise.

I am very similar to you in that I get very agitated in crowds so we have only invited 38 guests (family and a few friends only) and are having our wedding ceremony at 4pm. We arent having a separate evening do as such because, like you I hate being the centre of attention. In respect to the 'extras' we are having a fun casino and a caricature artist to keep our guests entertained and take some of the limelight off us so the only part I have to psych myself up for is the ceremony itself and photos. I have a fantastic bridal party who have been charged with taking care of me and we are all going to the venue to night before so I can get into the 'feel' of it.

It is really easy for everyone to say you will be ok - only you know how you might handle it but I think it will be worth it and when I'm walking down the aisle I will only be focusing on H2B!

On another note if you are really worried why don't you book an appointment with your GP? I did this earlier this year as I was having some horrible anxiety attacks whenever people mentioned the wedding and I was unable to sleep because of them. I have been prescribed some medication to help with the attacks and instead of having them daily I maybe get one a week now which is far easier for me to deal with. My GP has been fantastic and even if you just have a chat with them you may feel a bit better knowing you have unbiased support.

I hope you don't cancel it, it would be such a shame. Maybe you can cut your guest list down and arrange the extras for the evening?

LoL, Sarah xxx

I don't think you'll even notice on your wedding day.

I too don't like being the centre of attention, but i'm hoping i'll be so focused on D that it won't even bother me.