Would anyone like to give me a slap...please? (Now with BT ref)

Firstly don't dwell on this weekend, its done, cant change it. ?

Secondly, would it help to make a timetable? Make sure you complete certain things at certain times, schedule in time to relax and normal life events?

The problem is that I'm so far behind that any timetable wouldn't be able to include any non-study time for quite a while, a month at least. I'm sinking under the pressure and I don't know how to cope. This is all very bizarre for me, normally I thrive under pressure, but for some reason I just can't turn it around this time.

Crack on with it MY!

You CAN get up to date and I'll bet it wont take as long as you think.

Look at what you did last weekend, an awesome half marathon and the other day you showed us a piece of work you are really proud of (and rightly so).

More of that fantastic woman please and you will be fine.

Is there anyone you can speak to about feeling like you're to behind that can help you prioritise to help you get back on top of things? Like a lecturer or something? As Mrs c says try not to dwell on this weekend too much. I don't know whether this helps but I find when I'm overwhelmed with how much stuff I've got to do I avoid it because it seems too impossible but if I break it into tiny chunks and ignore the rest it makes it more doable. Could you set yourself small, achievable tasks each day to help you get some of it done and then maybe speak to someone about the volume of work? Sending you a hug ?

God MY, that is describing me to a T just now.

Just write this weekend off, it's done. Onwards and upwards. Write a list of everything that needs done until this weekend. Check everything off as you do it. At least that's what I'm doing.

Hugs to you lovely x

I've been there (in fact I've also had one of those weekends where I've done absolutely nothing and feel pretty rubbish for it).

The only piece of advice I can give is get out of the house and go to the library. I never used to get anything done at home, as it would take me ages to get myself up and then I'd get distracted every 2 minutes. Write this weekend off and don't beat yourself up over it. Make yourself a study timetable where you work out which days you're going to study and what time you have to leave the house by.

Forget about this weekend and remember the half marathon - you can do anything you set your mind to. And trust me, you'll feel so much better when you get back on it and start tackling it.

No harm done, you deserve a total nothing weekend now and again so don't bash yourself about the head over it. You won't sink unless you let it drag you under. You can do it MY.

Just make sure you rink some coffee and pull your finger out Monday evening to get your thing for Tues done!

Don't dwell on this weekend and try not to be angry with yourself MY - tomorrow is a new day.

I completely agree with what everyone else has said. Can you talk to one of your course tutors about your workload? They might be able to give you an extension that could help you to catch up. In the meantime, don't be too hard on yourself ?

Thank you ladies, it's nice that you all have such faith in my ability to do this, especially as I don't. I will try to make a list tonight, but it just makes me want to cry and give up. I'll do my best to note it all down though. I'm not sure about the library. I can't drive as parking is extortionate, and getting there on public transport will take ages and cost a fortune ☹️ I wish one of my local council libraries was open past about 6pm.

Unfortunately I can't get any tutor support. The only way to do that is to be formally registered with the disability services for depression. It was explained to us that the course is insanely intense, and we made the choice to undertake it. Quite a few have dropped out already and we are only about to start week 8.

I can't do the lesson plan tomorrow, as it's my Gran's birthday and we are off out for dinner. By the time I get back it will be too late to get started. On top of that I have two more lesson plans to do for Friday, two reflective essays that I haven't done, a whole host of activities that I didn't complete for my teaching file while on placement, and at least forty lesson plans to get started on for my November placement. When I say it like that I feel like I should just give up now, before I waste any more of their time ☹️

Oh, and this is about my 6th or 7th weekend of this, so it's not a one off.

Not much to add with everyone elses great words of wisdom but you can definitely do this,
just need to get in the right mind frame. Start a complete fresh & forget the past weeks you've been like this.
Start a little timetable or some sort of plans maybe and plan best as you can, don't beat yourself up if you can't dedicate so much time to it as you have other things going on. Do what you can when you can, lifes too short to be so stressed and beating yourself like this
We all have faith in you so start believing in yourself and get back on track, sending big hugs ?

Thanks K, all hugs gratefully received, feeling very sorry for myself at the moment.

I first went to the GP at te start of the year, and was referred for counselling. It helped a bit, but to be honest all it done was forced me to dredge up old memories with no way to deal with them. In July my counsellor decided that our sessions weren't helping, and decided to refer me for CBT. She spoke to her colleagues about our sessions (with my consent) at one of their weekly meetings, and her manager felt that I should be referred for a psych assessment. Until that happens, I can't receive any further treatment, I've been on the waiting list since July.

I have spoken to my GP but can't take antidepressants as we are TTC. It was my inability to get pregnant that triggered the depression, and I stupidly hope that a pregnancy would resolve it. Not that it's the only factor, as I have a prior history, but I just feel that it's the root cause this time around.

MY is there any practical help we otters can offer? There's a fair few teachers on here who might be able to help with some initial thoughts or structure to your lesson plan whi9ch would make it easier.

That blank bit of paper (ok screen) is always daunting.

Not really AC, maybe in a week or two once I get organised, but not right now.

My house is like a bomb site, with paperwork everywhere, none of it stapled or organised in any way, I can't find anything...so that's my first task.

For now I need to go and get ready for Uni ☹️

Thanks lovely otters, you are all amazing!

I decided to skip my 11am class, as I was in too much of a state to get ready, I have asked someone to sign me in. I'll go in for science at 1pm.

I chased up the psych eval and it's looking like January before they can see me. I know I won't last til then so I have contacted a private clinic which provides student-delivered CBT for £5 a session, got to be better than nothing, right? I am also going to declare my depression to the Uni, I have asked my doctor to provide me with a letter of proof for this, and I have an appointment with the Uni next Monday. Baby steps, but it feels like they are in the right direction.

Nail on the head there Flora, because I'm not suicidal yet I'm not a priority.

I take antidepressants and I am TTC. I know a lot of people are against it but for me I feel like I have to weigh up what the benefit is vs. what the potential risk is, and at the moment for me the benefit strongly outweighs the risks. I just don't want you to completely rule it out if it might help.

Hey, great ideas from all as always, I don't have much else to add, but just wanted to add some hugs x x

Drop me a MSG if I can do anything. My friend is also a principal teacher in a primary school - let me know if you think there's anything you think she could help with- she'd be glad to x

I'm here for teacher advice if you need it.

Have a hug ?

Thank you all, you have no idea how much all of your comments help, I really mean that.

Peanut, I had no idea, thank you for letting me know. From what my doctor said the last time we discussed it, he strongly advised against it. He agreed that it was a benefits vs risk decision though, and that it was my choice to make. Pills scare me, partly because I don't know how I will react, and partly because they feel like a last resort - in that if they don't work then I'm doomed. I know this may sound daft, but it helps to know that I have a final option available to me, once I take them I've tried everything.

For me, if I took them, I would constantly worry about their effects on TTC, and then if I got pregnant, their effects on the baby. I'm te sort of person who beats myself up on an almost daily basis, so I just think they would add another level of stress and anxiety to the situation. I wish I wasn't, and I wish I could just relax and take them, as it probably would make for better coping. Thank you so much for sharing though, it helps to know that there are options available if I feel able to choose them.

Firstly ?

Secondly - Why the *** are you not talking to me about all this. FB me woman.

Thirdly -Where is Mr MY in all of this?

Since wedding not really been typing on here as busy as ever and can only lurk whilst walking! However, read bits on this thread and can guess a bit of the rest. Wanted to add that most (if not all) unis have psychology services/counselling as part of providing duty of care. These are often v good. Look on your uni website as often information on that. These are usually free of charge with a much smaller waiting list.

Make sure you are getting good sleep, exercising, and in a routine - all these things are helpful with your work rather than replacing precious work time! (I was a crazy PGCE student once upon a time so I know that wking til 2am can seem a gd idea but it is you that pays the price! Best of luck x

PS I recon that 99% of ppl recon that they'll never get the work done on crazy teaching courses but as if by magic (and exhaustion) it will get done. Pace yourself and keep focusing on small chunks at a time. make sure you have treats too x

Again, thank you all, from the bottom of my heart.

I am trying the routine thing, I do find that when I get the sleep/food/exercise balance right life is a whole lot easier, but it's hard to keep it all in sync.

Cookie, thanks lovely, you are so amazing, especially with everything you have going on right now. Mr Mellow is fabulous, and doing all he can, but he is very lost and struggling to help me when I can't verbalise what will help. He is so upset with seeing me so upset, and frustrated that there is nothing that he can do to cure me. I do feel guilty at how wonderful he is, when some (maybe most) days I am a nightmare to live with. I couldn't do what he does, he is a saint. Daft as it sounds, sometimes that makes me feel worse, like I'm not worthy, because he is a better person than I am.

I am off to sleep now, in an attempt to stick to my 'in bed by 10pm' rule that I made last month and have yet to actually stick to. It's amazing the difference a decent night sleep can make, I'm such a *** when I'm tired.

I had a mastectomy not a brain amputation I am still here, my fingers still work I can still type and think and be a bosy cow.

I can talk to Mr MY too if needed, you are a young beautiful strong woman with the rest of your life ahead of you. You can do anything you want to if you plan and get support from those around you. You are worthy.

Thanks Cookie, you really are amazing! I know you're still here, but it feels incredibly selfish to burden you with this, when it pales in comparison to your recent health issues. When I was younger (teenage) I didn't 'believe in' depression, I thought that people just needed to get up and get on with it, so ironic in my eyes that I now struggle.

Mr Mellow is ok, he's getting there, I just sometimes wonder if he has unlimited amounts of patience, or whether I will use it all up one day. I told him this the other night and he insists that he has no intention of, or desire to leave me, it helps knowing that he won't abandon me. He has been doing a fair bit of reading online, I think the biggest problem is that no two people react the same with depression, and so there is no textbook answer that he can use to make me better. He knows that routine is a huge part of it, but trying to get me to stick to one when I'm in a down phase is difficult.

I've woken up feeling a lot more positive today, and I'm sure that you and all the other Otters have had a large part to play in that. Thank you everyone.