Would you be angry or am I over reacting?

I think you're probably overreacting a bit. How is she in general? Does she do things to try and upstage you and do you think that's why she's doing it or has she just decided that's a good time for them to get married? They're two different weddings, even though some of the same people will be at both they're different events involving different couples so don't worry that they'll compare.

The biggest problem is where do you draw the line, if they had decided another time next year would that be ok or should they have ruled the entire year out? Would a few months earlier have been ok or just as bad?

It's easy to lose perspective sometimes with weddings but I think that's quite normal.

I'm sorry but I'm with your H2B on this one. I could understand if they were getting married the day or weekend before, but what difference does it make if two people in the same family get married in the same year.

My cousin's getting married three months after me. It just means that my family has two things to look forward to next year.

I think three months difference is perfectly resonable I'm afraid!!

Sorry but im with your h2b on this one

Wouldnt bother me at all unless it was the same day or even a week after mine as id be otherwise engaged(on honeymoon)and would miss the day

Some people choose specific dates for a reason mine is my 30th birthday the week after my wedding in may 09

Does it matter really that she'll be married before you?your day will still be your day

You are over reacting

I think i would be peeved/jelous. however, make it work to your advantage, yours is months after, planty of time to make sure yours is twice as fab!!!!!!!!!!

never mind her getting married first anyway, your one day will not compare to any other wedding that you have been to and its the day you marry the man you love x x x

Totally over reacting. She is getting married long before you. The fact the same guests will be there isn't an issue as they are both your friends and even if the wedding was the week before I'm sure they would still go to both. You can't expect people to hold their wedding on hold for you.

I don't mean this to sound harsh.

I wouldn't be angry at all, I think you are definatly over reacting. She is getting married three months before you!! I have been to 6 weddings this year and all of them very different. People will be pleased for her and pleased for you. Don't let it worry you and enjoy yourself. If you are worried don't metion anything to her about the special things at your wedding.

Sorry but I think you might be overreacting a little. And I am a total Bridezilla!!

My (male) 1st cousin is getting married 2wks after me and they announced it just after we announced ours. His W2B (!) has same 1st name as me, and when they get married she'll have my last name too - which I think is cool. I was so excited when my cousin got engaged - and its nice chatting to his W2B and share the excitement.

Could you not share wedding plans etc like you do on hitched, and be excited together?

Over reacting. This happened to me with a work collegue, they were engaged for a few years before us then they set a date after us for 6 weeks before ours. It never crossed my mind to be anything other than happy for them even though we would have some of the same people at our wedding.

Your family member has been engaged a long time - you getting engaged did probally prompt them to get a move on. Maybe she felt a bit the same as you and felt as she had been engaged longer she should be setting a date if you were. The weedings will not be the same. Weddings are stressful enough dont add stress where its not needed.

Sorry, but have to agree with what everyone else said. Do you think rather than being angry maybe your slightly jealous? I know that sounds harsh, but a girl I work with was getting married in July 2010 (month before me), she announced last Thursday they have brought the wedding forward to next September. I am so over the moon for her, but was slightly gutted that it wasnt us bringing our wedding forward.

I think you're over reacting tbh,

My H cousin and subsequently one of our BM got married 3 weeks before us. We got engaged back in 2002, and booked our wedding in January 2007. Originally we wanted July 2007, and our reception venue only start taking booking in the January for the following year, so while we were back in Scotland visiting my parents we contacted the venue and booked. Unfortunatley we missed out on our preferred date by 1 day and the only Saturdays left were May or September, so we went with September as we'd have more time to save.

When we returned to Northern Ireland and announced our date my H cousin announced his engagement and then 2 months later his wedding date of Aug 2008 (3 weeks before us).

I was never bothered by this but other people said I should be annoyed and I never understood why - the 2 weddings were completly differnt but exactly what we each wanted! Plus I get on very well with the couple so it was fun to have someone close by who could relate to all the stressing etc that comes with planning!! There were certain similarities like my H wanted to wear a kilt as the wedding was in Scotland and I'm Scottish (all of his family are Northern Irish, with no Scottish heritage at all) and his cousin opted to wear a kilt because he liked them!!

I think you are over reacting a bit as the weddings are months apart and in peoples memories thats a really long time!!

Luv Victoria

xx

Hi,

Thanks for all your comments. I suppose yesterday was a bad day and this just blew me over the edge. I was in A and E most of the day with my h2b and was being harrased by a phone company pretending to be Orange and trying to get me to swap contracts.

I am still a bit annoyed but not said anything more about it to anyone. One of you mentioned the fact that she may have felt she has been engaged longer so should really get married first and I can understand that cos think I would be the same.

I think my problem is that I sometimes expect everyone to think the same as me and because it is not something I would do I sort of expect others to be the same. Which is my mistake as I have learnt many times in the past that people have very different opinions and mine are not always right.( dont tell my h2b I admitted to that one).

Anyway thanks again

s x

We set our date for 22nd August'08 (Friday) in Dec '08

In March my cousin & his wife -then w2b- announced they were getting married & they wanted the 23rd August.

I wasn't peeved they had choosen that date to get married but was concerned about the family attending two weddings in two days.

As it happens they couldn't have that date & had 9th August , 2 weeks before ours.

If they had got married the day before us , we wouldn't have been able to attend but we could with the new date.

I loved going seeing their plans all come together & it made me more excited about ours.

Our weddings were completely different & we were both happy for each other.

You can swap tips & even intrduce her to hitched if you like.?

I agree with your H2B as well i'm afriad. My little brother has been engaged for ages but never set a date - we are getting married in April 2010 and he just announced his wedding will be Sept 09. All the family will be going to both and they are all excited that they have 2 events to look forward to! Their day will be totally different to mine and i really cant see a problem x

Yes, I think you are over reacting.

I would just make sure that you pinch her good ideas and make them better... dont want the family members who were at both so say hers was better! ha!

Well....... my brother who has been with his partner for 15yrs and never shown an ounce of interest of getting married got engaged 2 days after me and yes i was really pleased for them but slightly peeved that they stole my thunder. of course it never turned out like that and everyone was really happy for us all. it was just when both announcements appeared in the local paper side by side i was slightly bothered.

at the end of the day its your day and will be unique to you. enjoy!

x

Last year we were invited to the wedding of the son of a family friend on 14th July.

Next we were invited to another friend's wedding on 4th August.

Then we were invited to the wedding of the sister of the groom from 14th July who was marrying the brother of the groom from 4th August which took place on 25th August.

Lost.....???? Well basically 3 weddings of brothers and sisters within the same 2 families within 5 weeks of one another....

All three weddings were completely different in style and we didn't compare any of them to any of the others. The only thing I would say is that it was a little expensive in terms of outfits but great for business as we did the wedding cakes for all 3!

Catherine

3 month gap is a long time - in my opinion you are over reacting

I think you're over reacting too, BUT I did bear this in mind we set our wedding date.

We got engaged in June and wanted to get married fairly quickly, but h2b's husband is getting married in March and close friends/distant family in May so I didn't want to get married first and upstage them or upset them. So we chose 13 June.

It's quite nice to be honest. Sil and I chat all the time about wedding stuff, and I there's enough of gap between us all for me to be able to pinch any good ideas and ditch anything I don't like!!

C xx