Would you be annoyed?

I would be like you. It wouldn't bother me in the slightest (except if we had a very important event planned or something, of course).

The premise that anyone "let's" their partner do anything is alien to me.

If this happened now, yes I would be miffed, but we have a 16 month old daughter.

Before we had her, not in the slightest although before we had our daughter it was always me buggering off last minute for weekends away, although normally just visiting my friends in the UK.

If Mr Flow To Be had a history of cheating on you and he was going away at short notice with random people you'd never heard of, I would think 'you're letting him go?!?' but I don't think there's anything wrong with you telling him to go - a bit of male bonding before the wedding will be good for them!

My OH is busy most weekends and evenings so I rarely see him. As an example, we came back from NY last Thursday lunchtime, and he was out every night from Thursday-Tuesday. He was in last night and he'll be out again tonight until Sunday night. So in 10 days, I'll have spent one evening with him.

For that reason, I'd be slightly annoyed that he was choosing to spend yet more time away from me, but I'd never tell him he couldn't go.

Exactly what Footlong said.

Some people just have major insecurities maybe your friend is one of them. Anyway in answer to the OP absoloutely not, providing we could afford it.

Exactly this. I wouldn't stop my OH, and I would be taken aback by a friend who said something about 'letting' him. I would be annoyed with the friend, not OH.

Yes exactly, I'm with Footlong.

I don't "let" Mr C do anything, he is his own person and if he wants to go away then he should!

As it happens he is off for the weekend in November, no occasion, he just fancied a weekend away with the boys!

WEES - The only reason I was miffed the last time OH went away with the boys is because I could have gone to watch the racing too if I hadn't been working so was jealous!

OH has been abroad a few times with the lads and I haven't mind one bit. I've obviously missed him, but wouldn't deny him a weekend away!

Absolutely not a problem for me at all. I would miss him cause I am a sap but I wouldn't have to "let" him do anything. I am not his keeper, he doesn't need my permission to do anything and vice versa. I quite often go back to Stoke for girls nights out and H doesn't bat an eyelid.

I would relish having the place to my self!

To be fair, if it was something I had wanted to do, then got offered at the last min to go at a cheaper rate, id jump at it so i would expect/allow/ be happy for H to do the same!

As we have 3 kids and another on the way, I'd appreciate him discussing it with me before deciding to go but I certainly wouldn't tell him he "can't" go. For some reason he doesn't understand this though and regularly sends me texts or emails saying he's seen such and such an exciting thing coming up and "please can I go?". I'm not his mother! He doesn't need my permission for anything!

I'd be annoyed on the basis that it was him going away and not me ?

Actually, I think the only thing that *might* annoy me about it is the last minute thing, particularly if I'd turned down things that weekend for us to do together, but I wouldn't be annoyed or feel the need to give him permission to go if that's what he wanted to do.

I would be like you aswell Flow. My oh works so hard he deserves to go and enjoy himself. I have friends who get really funny about their other halves going out let alone going abroad!

H2b is talking about going to Vegas for his stag, some of my friends think i'm mad for 'letting him go'! I'm not mad, just jealous! ?

It wouldnt bother me so long as he rang / said first before committing himself. By this I dont mean asking for permission, I mean checking there is nothing happening that he has forgot about!

I really really enjoy the 'me' when OH is away...so much so that he is for a stag do in March & I was offered a chance to go on a girl weekend away & I was like 'noooooooooo' the 'me' time is too good an opportunity to miss!

Blimey I hope your mate is single, I pity the poor bloke who'd have to deal with that! I don't understand this mentality at all, noone owns anyone, when you are married you are equals which does not mean joined at the hip.

Perhaps not, but surely the equals means discussing things before doing them? I wouldn't just presume I could go and do something or buy something without clearing it first, and am sure she would do the same. I'm not talking about little things like buying a bottle of water but bigger decisions or more expensive things.

So when I come home to a shiny, new, increasingly bigger and flatter TV every six months, you're saying he should have checked with me first?

Absolutely. It's no more "his money" to spend any more than yours is "your money" - your joint incomes pay the bills and buy the treats therefore you should certainly discuss any big purchases.

If you can both afford that sort of money for a new telly on a regular basis then that's obviously up to you, but surely if he was to say "we can't pay the rent this month because I just bought a new telly" I'm sure you'd be quite upset about it.

We are putting money into a joint account to pay our bills each month but also putting a small amount as 'pocket money' into our own savings accounts to save up to buy anything relating to hobbies or whatever that it's not fair to expect our joint income to go towards. Obviously, out of what's left, we're saving up for things like our new home.

I can't see anywhere in this thread that the person Flow is talking about has decided to go abroad at the expense of their rent.

Well whether it's time together, money or whatever... anything significant I'd clear first and would expect the same.

I guess we're all different.

If it was the first I'd heard of it then yes, I probably would be a bit annoyed.

If like you say, it's been planned for months and I knew he'd wanted to go initially but couldn't and now had the opportunity, then I wouldn't be bothered!

The TVs don't come from a joint account, they come from HIS account. And my desire to have a new pair of jeans every week comes from MY account. The rent comes from a JOINT account.

Does that make any difference to your point of view?