Would you be upset if you weren't invited - WWYD?

I would invite the old school friend. I haven't seen some friends for years but we talk, email etc quite often and can always pick up where we left off.

I wouldn't invite the friends you used to work with as it doesn't matter that they invited you to theirs if you haven't spoken to them since.

If your H2B doesn't like the friends you used to work with then don't invite them.

You sound closer with the friends you still go out with at the same company so that could be ok?

HTH

When is the wedding?

Best piece of advise I can give to you is to be honest. We had numbers problems when I got married, and whilst its difficult to broach the subject its a lot easier to say now that numbers are running away with you than to wait until its closer to the time and they just work out that there isn't an invitation in the post.

Just say that whilst you would love them to come at the moment your guest list is bigger than your room and there isn't much in the way of numbers left after the bridal party and bride/grooms family have been seated.

Its upto you if you invite them, but if you do try and invite them from each group. you split them into four groups so try not to leave people out of each group, that way it shouldnt cause animosity(if thats how you spell it). i would say as a general rule then it really isnt going to matter to much about the ppl h2b doesnt really like unless it would really make a difference to your day. but if your friends enough with people to let them stay in your home and vice versa then you should really invite them. Just a thought, would your mum be offended if you invited these people as you are leaving some family out? if not then id invite who you want, personally for me id rather have friends who i see on a regular occasion there rather than family who i wouldnt recognise if i walked down the street. but thats just me.

hth a lil bit sori its long x

I'd invite the person who has invited you just to be nice! I wouldn't invite someone who OH doesn't like really. I'd also invite the people you get together and stop over. Also old best friend.. I'd be upset if i was your friend and didnt get an invite! My old best friend who ive only seen twice in the last 18months is my bridesmaid!

Just my opinion! I haven't had to write the guest list yet so i don't know what it's like! I'll be on here for sure stressing! x

Hey,

yeah, I split them into groups as I know I'd need to invite all of them in that circle as they all see each other / talk and it wouldn't be fair to leave one out! Thats the problem with the "ones H2B doesn't like" - its only actually one of them who irritates me a bit too, but if I invite the other 2 (one of whom is her best friend) she'd probably come anyway!

My mum has said its entirely up to me, and we did take the view if family wouldn't know us if they bumped into us, they can't come!

I can only give you my experiences, but we have gone about it the other way around really. We have not invited all the relatives we haven't seen in a long time in favour of our friends. Regardless of how often I see them, my friends are my friends - the family you choose, if you like. So the majority of our guests are our friends, old and new, and workmates and the people who are part of our lives. it depends on how important these friends are to you really.

2 friends you used to work with - don't invite them. I was the reverse situation - I invited an old work friend and her partner to my wedding (all day as not local). 16 months later they got married and I wasn't invited to any of it. It stung very slightly but if I'm honest by this point we weren't much in touch and if my wedding had been the second one, I probably wouldn't have invited them IYSWIM?

Friends your H doesn't like - I think it depends why he doesn't like them. If they're just not his cup of tea, well, if you want them there I would say tough TBH. I didn't really see why he wanted to invite certain people to ours but it was his wedding too. As long as he's getting the chance to invite who he wants, I think he should just put up with it if they're important to you. And really, we had 70 people and there were several I barely spoke to as I was so busy and when I had a chance to sit down, I sat with friends I really wanted to see.

Old best school friend - are you still very close? I had old school friends I was in touch with but didn't invite/just invited to the evening do.

Friends you work with - I would probably invite them without partners TBH. They would be able to come as a group so as a 4 instead of 8 - if you explain the situation nicely and say you're culling family, that would be fine I think. I wouldn't be thrilled to be invited to a wedding without my H, but if all of a certain group were going without partners it would make me more inclined to go.

You're very lucky to have an understanding mum who's taking family off the list!

My wedding reception isn't going to be conventional, neithers the wedding and luckily my mum fully approves of all the decisions I've made (if not, she's a good liar! ?)

Thanks for your opinions, its really helping me get a bit more of an idea....its hard work trying to cull friends, much easier to cull family!