Would you change your date for Wills and Kate?

No I am completely with you on the smoking !!! We will have a no smoking policy on the patio as plan to have all the door open onto the hall, If people want to smoke they can go off and skulk well away from me! There is a bench round the front of the venue that has one of those outside ashtrays - people will be kindly asked to smoke there and keep their anti social habits to themselves. I think if any there will be 2 smokers there, but definitely more ashmatics - if either complain it will be pointed out that it is for peoples health

Some of the guests will only be staying for an hour anyway as they're not invited to the Wedding Breakfast and have to amuse themselves until the evening reception.

If people feel it's more important to disregard a simple polite request in place for the benefit of everyone else and the vast majority of guests then to be honest I'd rather they didn't come either.

AJ, you come across as very controlling, telling people they cant drink, smoke, talk about certain things, i think if i were coming to your wedding i would need a drink to get through it! Im not a smoker, nor do i like it but im not here to tell others that they cant smoke at my wedding, who the hell do you think you are!!! I wish your B2B all the luck in the world to be married to someone as opiniated as you!

Either that or your taking p!ss!!

You don't have exclusive use of your venue AJ do you?

So I'm guessing that you are bumping your gums about the "impact" the public smoking outside near your rooms windows may have? Are you going to have security out there to ensure no one just smokes where they like (as is their right) and just stamps the fag end out on the ground? Cos you've removed all but one of the fag boxes and they can't be eirsed to walk to the 'end of the garden' where you have deemed it appropriate for such low life to attend to their habit?

Maybe you should also ask the venue to not sell alcohol to the public who might be in the venue - just incase you have to leave the confines of your designated room and might catch sight of someone a little bit 'dwunk'. Kids? Are kids going to be allowed in the public areas? Or are you banning them too? I'm sure you should probably ask the airport at Southampton to adjust flight paths for the day too, just incase a plane flies over and spoils it all for you.

LMFAO. You are such a ❤️❤️ AJ. Honest to gorram.

Its not just one thing in particular its your whole attitude towards your guests. What makes YOU think you have the right to dictate to people, who will no doubt be spending alot of money to come to your wedding, what they can and cant talk about, if thats your RULES then may i suggest you include a rule book along with your invites.

I'm not telling people they can't drink alcohol at our wedding - we just aren't going to be providing it, they can buy their own if they want it.

I'm not telling people they can't smoke if they want to - we're just asking them to be considerate and do it away from the rest of our guests.

I think people are forgetting that, due to who we are, we aren't going to have lots of smokers and drinkers amongst our guests, so to us and the majority of them, what we're providing for the day is not going to cause them any problems. I do accept that some people expect to have lots of free alcohol at weddings and that many consider smoking 'social' rather than antisocial, but as those aren't the sort of people we mix with, why do we need to 'conform to convention' to accommodate people that aren't going to be there, or make it a day that we aren't going to be happy with?

Well said!!! This guy is a proper loopster and i pity the poor lass thats marrying him.

I myself am a smoker but my other half and quite alot of other guests are not, it is a nasty habit and unfortunatly I am stuck on the little blighters, but more to the point, we will have an area for smoking at our venue but its not going to be well away from everyone else, if people dont smoke and dont wish to be around the smokers then they dont need to go in that area.

I think aj has taken it way to far by wanting to remove all ashtrays and pretty much ban smoking altogether.

We do have exclusive use of the garden area and function suite, and a private bar in a separate side-room off of the function room - so effectively yes.

Although the hotel is of course going to be open to other people (unless enough of our guests book up to stay there) there is a bar and dining room for them to use, and there are smoking areas out the front of the hotel well away from where we are.

The only thing we are really sharing is the car park - and that's big enough for everyone.

surprised you've got any guests fullstop tbh if your hitched persona is anything like you are in real life.

i'm trying to think back to the last helpful/supportive/useful thing you posted on the forum that wasn't actually just purposely going against the grain....

oh, and btw, I witnessed the Boxing Day Tsunami. I flew back on a 'mercy' flight with people who lost everything they had with them, including in some cases loved ones. My family and my ex's family had no idea if we were dead or alive for 24hrs.

'It might put a dampner on the day' - <shakes head> I hope to god you nor your loved ones are never involved in anything even a fraction as devastating as that event.

Youve just got to let your guests be themselves, f they smoke let them smoke, if they drink let them drink, what you gong to do if a pigeon poops on your shoulder or something, go after it with a shot gun????

1/3 of our guests have replied already with only two declines due to clashes with existing booked events.

My last positive post? About 10 minutes or so ago, in the sweet table thread.

You don't mix with normal people AJ?

That's an interesting question that could have a number of different interpretations.

Suffice to say, most of us choose our closest circle of friends from people that we find we connect with, either through similar interests, similar outlooks on life, perhaps similar political viewpoints, opinions on certain issues, musical tastes, sports teams, and in fact often whether you do (or don't) drink or smoke.

So if I don't drink or smoke, does that make me "abnormal"? To some, perhaps. To others, no.

AJ, you have every right to be here like everyone else but if you feel so badly treated and attacked why do you stay?

I dont see what enjoyment you get out of the Hitched community?

So essentially you're asking the hotel to remove fixtures and fittings so 2 of your guests won't smoke near the windows of 'your' room? If no public can go into "your" garden thats the only reason I can think of? That still makes you an eirse.

And you booking a couple of rooms and a garden area doesn't reeeeeeeeally make it exclusive use.... but you dress that one up all you like sweetie.

Did you observe the 2mins silence on 11th Nov? Wear a poppy? (crikey, that could open up a whole new can of AJ worms!) - if you did, I'm not sure why. Freedom isn't exactly up there on your list of priorities is it?

AJ you really are a self obsessed and selfish idiot. You are a control freak and want to control everything about your wedding and actually it's not the controlling the wedding I have issues with it's the fact you want to control your guests. Your guests are there to enjoy themselves after all that's why you invited them to share in your day. You don't want much alcohol consumed, people aren't willingly able to smoke without inconvenience no doubt, they are banned from talking about certain aspects of your day. FFS do you even have any friends because I for one wouldn't entertain someone putting so many conditions on my behavour which in no way affects you i.e. smoking. How much can people eat at your buffet, just one sandwich or perhaps one and a half?!

You'd be better to have no guests at your wedding whatsoever to remove all your pathetic conditions. You also can't have any trust in your guests to not do anything to upset you. You sound like a very bitter insecure and unhappy guy!

I've never replied to your posts before this thread but this takes groomzilla to the max!

being poo'd on by a bird is supposed to be lucky!

Ive got to admit Im in agreement with LauraSJ. :-)

AJ some of your points are really valid. Yes smoking is disgusting (I say this as an ex smoker who still misses the odd ciggy!) and the smell is gross and I wouldnt want it in my reception room. The same as I wouldn't want anyone getting totally mullered on free booze and throwing up on my dress.

But the way you put your point across is just so...... farking annoying. Good grief man, do you write on the internet as you speak in life? Cos you come across as a prudish, pompous, seen nothing of life, irritating bossy boots.

Well it is "explore the UKs most popular wedding forums" so where better?

I may not get a lot of enjoyment out of being constantly criticised because my opinions happen to be different to the majority, but there are still a lot of useful things discussed about (although conversely some of it I don't have any interest in) so I stay.

It's nice to see what other people are thinking about doing on their big day, as there may be elements we can adapt into ours, occasionally I even manage to come up with something that others find useful or interesting. It's also useful to see other people to talk about their plans and to think "oh crud we forgot about that".

*shrugs*

He reminds me of someone you'd find in a Harry Enfield sketch show...

This is true, lets hope he gets shat on all day then, might atleast make it slightly pleasurable for his guests,haha

AJ have you not considered that by putting so many restrictions on your guests (drinking, smoking, topics for conversation, colours they have to wear etc) and taking into account that there is a whole world out there going about its daily business and possible having national/political distaters, other weddings, possibly even godlike miracles that you have said would put a dampener on your day, youare actually setting yourself up for disappointment on your wedding day?

HAH you are dead right Beck. He could be called Killjoy Ken and completely ruin every fun thing with his arrogant and pompous ideas about us commoners.

The health effects of passive smoking on others is well documented and accepted amongst most medical professionals. That's before you even take into account asthmatics and people with other allergies.

What restrictions?

We're not stopping anyone from drinking alcohol.

We're not stopping anyone from smoking, just asking them to have a little consideration.

We're not going to have bouncers listening in on every table and throwing out people that talk about the 'wrong things'.

We've only "suggested" people wear autumnal colours to match our theme, and aren't going to ban people for wearing blue or pink. It's only a request for crying out loud, is that so wrong? Isn't a gift list a 'request'?

Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. blah

blah blah. bumpy gums bumpy gums. blah blah.

blah blah.

blah.

Yes I agree with passive smoking totally and for what it's worth I hate smoking with a passion, never done it, never will and hate anyone smoking near me. However the ban now says smoking must be done outside within x amount of metres from an entrance and I highly doubt it's going to manage to harm anyone if a tiny bit gets through a window! Seriously you can taking it to the extreme. Just shut the fecking window not bully your guests into feeling like aliens because they smoke. You are inviting guests to share in your day because you love them (well you should love them) but you are treating everyone like robots.

Do you have exclusive use of your venue?

LOL tinkerbelle, the invitation will be like an essay in what to do and what not to do

And if you do not do as you are told it will be the naughty step for you, children!

It sounds like the smoking area is the naughty corner...