Would you invite this 'plus one'?

I can see your point, although i must say that you must think there's a good chance that he may kick off or there may be an atmosphere if he comes, so therefore i don't think i could invite someone who may cause me concerns over my special day.

I think it probably comes down to either:

1) Are you friendly enough to with the lady at work, so that you can suggest to her that it may not be a good idea/find out how he may behave? Would she prefer to come alone?

or

2) You speak with your OH and ask him & his colleagues to be aware of the situation, and to behave accordingly, should any issues arise. I'd assume that they'd have no issues in dealing with any problems with him.

Wow what a scenario. I'd say invite him. If any of them had any respect for you or your partner they'd all play nice. Plus if there are enough people they won't even have to mingle with each other. Although that said it also depends what he was actual inside for. If it was a violent then maybe not.

Oh and keep them on the soft drinks just in case.

I think you need to speak to your OH and see what he thinks, they must have experienced interacting with their service users in the outside world and he might know what the best thing is.

I'm not sure what I'd do, a lot depends on your OH's view I think.

Personally I'd take your fiance's viewpoint on this. Only he can know if it's going to cause him to be uncomfortable or cause issues. If he's not happy with it, I wouldn't be giving the boyfriend an invite.

I thinK Im mainly concerned as ive never had the chance to meet him. Im sure OHs colleagues would be fine if I mentioned it but Id want them relaxed and not having to worry. I dont really know whether i should mention it to my friend as ive always kinda avoided the subject of what OH is and I was originalky just going to play the game of not giving anyone the heads up and no ine would know any wiser, but now I know that OH colleagues will recognise him, it does change things as he'll recognise them.

I hope itll go well, and try not to think of him as a bad guy as it was drugs not like murder or anything, but its still serious and hes been in prison so I still have that stereotypical ciaion in my head!

I do think you need to speak to your OH, if he will be uncomfortable with this guy there then that's his call and he has every right to say he's not invited.

Agree.

Another one in the 'ask your OH' camp. I think the decision lies with him on this one.

Bit of a tough situation - part of me thinks he's been judged and done his time, who am I to judge him further? The other part of me thinks he's done bad stuff (whatever that might be), not sure I want him at the wedding.

I think it's your OH's call. But my gut instinct is to not invite him, not to add any more punishment for him but quite simply because it's not appropriate (IMO).

As usual, agree with footlong.

It is very tricky....I'm in a similar situation with regards to inviting an ex-con. Unfortunately I don't have a choice because he is a member of my OH's close family (not by blood I hasten to add!!) but he knows I am not happy with him being there and he's a bit of a grumpy bugger anyway so hopefully he'll leave early (luckily he doesn't drink)

I think ask your OH. To be fair, they probably see A LOT of people so unless this guy was violent or his behaviour was "memorable" they are probably unlikely to remember him.

I would also speak to your friend. She must know what your OH does, explain the situation and say that you hope her partner won't feel awkward and if he doesn't want to come then you totally understand.

I would tell your OH and 100% it is his decision. Don't even mention it to your friend at this point.

Add one more to the "other half" pile! Flipping good question though...

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Ive asked OH about it and hes a bit unsure what to do either so is going to speak to his colleagues and see their opinion. He did say though that quite often people are so much different in the cells than in front of those they know, but that could go either way.

I see your point in your situation but our venue is in a farely close distance to everyone so no one local is having to book accomodation. I like the idea of giving plus ones to evening guests of those we know have partners as I'd like them all to feel comfortable and more away from a work-do, as xmas and summer parties are a no partner affair as work pays for it all. I just think its more personal to allow partners, just like you would do normally out of work.