WWYD?

I think, although your mum is ill, it is your day and you should be walked down the aisle by someone who means the world to you. If it isn't your dad then it shouldn't be him.

Do you have a brother you could ask? Or could your mum walk you down the aisle?

Very simply I wouldn't give in to her. If you don't want him to give you away then don't have him. I would talk quite frankly with your mum and tell her you do not appreciate being emotionally blackmailed.

A friend of mine was given away by her mum, is this an option?

I do hope you sort it out as it must be tough arguing with your mum when she is ill.

Firstly biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiig hugs !

Secondly, it's a really special thing being walked down the isle! My dad wont be here as he passed away in August and i a, devestated he wont be there to do it and generally would seriously suggest people think hard about small feuds to make up with their dads as you never know when they wont be the there anymore to have the option!!

HOWEVER, by the sounds of it, you have great reason not to ask your dad to do it. I understand your feeling of guilt/worry about your mom being poorly, and this may sound harsh, but it's still YOUR day and your mom, whilst maybe a little miffed at first, WILL get over it!

You dont have to stick to tradition, Why not ask your mom to give you away as an alternative?

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hey hun, I know what you mean. My mum passed away when I was only 9 years old, and my Gran and Grandad brought my brother and I up from then on until he passed away 18 months later. My dad has not had hardly anything to do with us since then, and only used to come and see us as children because social services were involved due to money issues. After they werent involved anymore, he didnt bother. My mum and dad were not happy when she died and I remember all the horrible things he said to her.

My brother is giving me away, there is no way I would ask my dad as I am not his to give. He hasn't bothered with me so I feel why should I bother with him? I hear it has caused him to moan and say he isn't coming to the wedding - thats his choice and he pleases himself entirely but you need to do what you feel is right for you. If its not your dad that feels right then you shouldn't have him.

How would you feel about your mum giving you away? In my situation, I think if I hadn't got my brother, I would have asked my Gran as she is my 2nd mum and if I hadn't have had her, then my brother and I would have had nobody.

I wish you the best of luck with this and hope you are able to make the right choice for you xx

My dad walked out on me and my mum when I was a baby and didn't meet him until I was 11, been on/off since but we're not that close. My step dad gave me away and even though my mum and him have divorced since I'm so glad that he did, my dad doesn't deserve to give me away - it would mean that what he did was right and all is forgiven. My step dad didn't have any children of his own so it would've been the only chance that he could've walked anyone down the aisle and we're still close now. Just think who you are closer with and who you would bother with most in the future. Just because you have a dad doesn't mean he has the right to walk you down the aisle, its got to be earned.

I've since divorced and my son will be giving me away this time x

Firstly - you should do what your heart wants you to do. Imagine walking down the ailse with each of them, is there one you would feel most comfortable with, least comfortable with ?

Secondly - Happy Birthday!

You should do what YOU want.

I agree with the others. You must do what feels right for you. Your mum can't emotionally blackmail you that isn't right. I am sorry she is so ill but that doesn't give her that right. Happy birthday sweetheart and remeber you are about to start a whole new happy life and start as you mean to go on xxxxxx

Don't do it if you dont want to, and i completely see why you wouldnt. I agree that if your mum is able to, you could ask her, that way she is likely to still be happy. Terminal illness or not, she doesnt have the right to make you be unhappy on a special day. If your mum doesnt want to/isnt able to walk you down, could you brave the walk on your own? I have seen people do it (only on four weddings, admittedly), but it did look really nice and showed the bride's independance and making the choice to walk down to get married. I feel for you and hope your mum eventually understands.

Go with your gut feeling celticgoddess. Do what is right for you. It's your day. You don't want to look back and regret anything. You want to look back on your wedding day with happy memories. Me, personally, I wouldn't let your dad give you away, not after all the hurt he has put you through, you shouldn't give him the priveledge. Ask somebody else too, somebody who deserves too. Someone who has supported you through life. A family friend, a sibling, a family member? What about your mum? It sounds like she has been through a lot and supported you through life?

I'm having similar probs aswell. Not spoken to my mum since she walked out on my dad and three kids years and years ago. She now wants an invite to the wedding. Ha, NO chance. She doesn't deserve too. If she is there my dad won't be and I know who I want to be there.

Let us know what you decide. Big hugs. x

I agree with everyone else, its such a special moment that it should be up to you and only you.

I am walking down the aisle with my brother, toyed with my mum for a while but thought I would be to emotional that way

Just do what you want, surely your mum just wants you to be happy.

Hi Im Sally and Im in simelar position. My dad was a drunk. He sold everything we owned for alcohol and mum had enough when I was 10 and at 3am we moved in with my grandparents. I didnt see him for a few years. He came back into my life when I was 13(even though he stayed in my elder sisters)and I feel no love for him. No hate but no love. I see him occassionally and I know its going to upset him when he discovers hes not giving me away. My mum has been there my whole life, never once has she left when I needed help. My stepdad always sais if I was to get married hed never walk me down the ailse for the fear of upsetting ad. My sisters giving me a hard time. She wants me to tell dad now that mums giving me way but I dont see the need for conflict. In my opinion its your day, do what you want. No matter what you do you can never please everyone. xxx

Thank you to you all for your support. it has been troubling me since she asked me and i agree with what was said about the feeling no love for him.....i feel nothing for him, absolutely nothing......i dont know the guy.....i talked this over with my lovely fiance today ( he spoiled me for my birthday too) and he said i should do what i feel is right for me......so i have asked my best friend of 20 odd years to do it, she is also my CBM and she was over the moon to be asked as she knows what this has been doing to me......i know when i walk down the aisle with her ill have someone beside me who loves me unconditionally, and has always been there for me through the years.....something that my so called dad could not do.

once again thank you for your messages, you have made me realise what is right, and not let my heart rule my head this time.

Lx