WWYD and AIBU? **UPDATE**

Really tricky one. I guess it depends if the fall out / awkwardness with your neighbor is worth having a grass pile free back of the fence. This is the sort of thing that majorly niggles me too. Why on earth wouldnt he just pay for a bin? Is there anywhere else that you could suggest he piles his grass instead? He probably just hasn't made the connection with your fence.

An the joy of new estates. I am finding it hard to visualise the layout of fences etc. Can you draw a picture?

It would bother me too. I would just knock on their door and in a friendly manner explain that you own that land and would appreciate if they don't dump their garden waste there. I think if you sit on it you'll just get more and more annoyed. Perhaps they just don't realise that you own it?

An I right in thinking they're not dumping it into your garden but that its the effect on the fence that is getting to you?

If there was a real chance it could damage the fence - yes it would bother me. Who sees that side of the fence?

i can't quite picture the layout (that'll so change when I come to visit when you have mini OB).

It is really getting on my nerves and its making my OCD play up. I hope it's just thoughtlessness but he saw H get up and have a look over the other day and he's done it again today so I think he just doesn't care. And I honestly cannot understand why he hasn't bought a bloody bin! There's definitely nowhere else for it.

Ok so his is the house with the drive, the first two cars are the parking spaces for the house he is attached to, so they are responsible for that first bit of fence, but the the third car is mine and then we have a central bit and another space on the other side.

And here he is today caught in the act.

He doesn't even attempt to throw it further away either, H said the whole back of the fence is covered and its in big piles.

No it's not in our garden, behind there is trees and a path a bit further out. It's the smell when m getting in my car, and the potential damage to the fence from the rotting grass, and all the extra weeding we will have to do on the side of the fence we can see.

My thoughts exactly. I don't understand why someone would be so lazy to dump grass over someone's fence. Surely you would buy the right bin, have a compost heap or ask a neighbour if they minded you putting it in their bin.

OB sorry if you've said already but who owns the land behind the fence?

It is public land behind the fence. Sorry, missed that bit. We own the parking spaces, and are responsible for the fence, it's basically the outer boundary of the estate, but the upkeep of it is just allocated to whoever's land is in line with it. Over the fence I assume is council land. That is where he is dumping but his piles are actually against the back of the fence, and when grass cuttings rot they leak a nasty black fluid which will ruin the fence in the long term. And it stinks. And we don't dump rubbish over our fence ourselves so why should he!

Also, he shouldn't be dumping on public land anyway! He chucks all sorts behind there, it's disgusting. But everything else is dry and won't rot so that has no impact on us at all.

Ok, that makes more sense now I can see pictures! Can you report for fly tipping at all? You do have a pic of him doing it?

Ooh good idea mummymoo! Is that an option?

Yeah I guess I could, but then I'm thinking that could end up with a worse atmosphere than if we just spoke to him. The trouble is, you never know how someone is going to react do you!

H suggested just buying a bin and having it delivered to him, but again I'd be worried about the reaction.

I would be tempted to do this complete with ribbon and sarcastic note. Just deliver either when its dark or when you know they are out.

Failing that is there a site management company you could ask to help if they did a letter drop to all the houses involved.

I'd just have a word with him too. He probably doesn;t realise he's annoying you and thinks he is being helpful keeping the grass cut and tidy.

If you report him officially, don't you have to declare any neighbour disputes when you come to sell, which could make things difficult for you?

Could you approach it by asking him if he knows who's doing it as you're worried about the impact on the fence and shame him into stopping or does he know you know it's him.

I'd just ask speak to him I think - just ask him to not dump it because it already is rotting and smelling, and over time will ruin the fence which you would have to pay for. He just sounds ignorant, you totally don't know how someone will take it I suppose!

As for dumping other stuff over the fence, that's flytipping.

He's a d*ck - I hate people who act like this! Just because it's a path and public land doesn't mean he can put rubbish there.

I'd just ask speak to him I think - just ask him to not dump it because it already is rotting and smelling, and over time will ruin the fence which you would have to pay for. He just sounds ignorant, you totally don't know how someone will take it I suppose!

As for dumping other stuff over the fence, that's flytipping.

He's a d*ck - I hate people who act like this! Just because it's a path and public land doesn't mean he can put rubbish there.

This.

I would try and have a nice polite neighbourly conversation and say to him that he may not realise that it is actually causing damage to the fence you have to maintain. Then politely ask that he puts it elsewhere.

As others have said, you don't want this to turn in to a big dispute so I think a little polite word might be best whenever you next bump in to him 'coincidentally'.

Then if he continues after you've made him aware I think you should dump your grass all over his front door ?. Only kidding ?

I'd go for the sickly-sweet "aren't I a good neighbour?" approach and say " I've noticed you don't have your own brown bin yet and are having to dispose of the grass over the fence, why don't you use mine for a week or two until the council brings yours? it'll save you getting into trouble for dumping it"

I'll bet a house that he doesn't realise anyone on the estate might be responsible for upkeep of that fence. Suspect it's an innocent act on his behalf. Knock on and tell him it's your job to keep it tidy - he'll be mortified, guaranteed.

This.

I have to say it seems like a most peculiar set up. I would expect the fence to be maintained by either a) the local council (unlikely on new estates nowadays because they are too tight strapped for cash) or b) a management company.

On this estate every property has to pay an annual management charge. The lowest charge (which we pay) covers open spaces. Then those with parking spaces in car parks (just like yours) pay slightly more for the open spaces & the upkeep of the car park.

I would be just as annoyed as you I would either speak to him or if your site is still being built on so not yet handed over to the council I'd speak to the builder about it. Our builder won't hand over to the council/management company until they move off site & they are responsible until then

Update in OP.

My thoughts exactly, he knows he is in the wrong and you caught him on the hop.

Good on you ob for going round!

Agree with flora about the angry face, , he's probably just embarrassed

Missed this originally! Well done for going round-it can feel pretty awkward.

I agree with the above- no way he could be angry with you!

If I was him I would be glad you gave me a chance by speaking to me first instead of just jumping straight to reporting me. He should respect you for that.

Good on you, like everyone said I bet he's embarrassed bet he trys to avoid you now he's been caught

You've been completely reasonable about this and he's no reason to fall out with you.
Hopefully he'll stop it and everything will be fine between you

Your mum is right, act as though nothing has happened. Smile, say hi and get on with usual life.

If you don't make it more of an issue that it needs to be hopefully he won't escallate it to more than it needs to be.

Well done you!