WWYD? Another complaint from our neighbour about the noise.

I forgot to add, as she stepped back inside to slam the door in nanny/Ns face. N waved at her and said "bye bye" ? Thats my boy. The nanny said it was perfect comedy timing.

Not sure what you expect us to say tbh. he s a baby, they cry. yes, it would annoy me as well if i heard constant crying three or four times a day but there isnt really anything you or she can do about it, apart from move ?

Nothing! She should move to the middle of the bush if she wants silence. But then I imagine she will be out finger wagging at the fucking hyenas. Stupid cow.

Shotgun? Arsenic? Rat Poison?

Firstly, shame on her for shouting at him. If I were the nanny I probably would have lamped her one, so thank her for her restraint ?

Seriously though, I don't think you can let this fester much longer. If neither of you are moving in the near future, you're going to have to try and get to the bottom of it. I'd go round when you're feeling calmer (maybe next year ?) and start by saying that you think it was inappropriate for her to shout at your son, no matter what the provocation and that you'd really like to sort it out rationally with her and see if there is a compromise to be reached. Ask her specifically what the noise problem is. Is it general toddler noise, crying, screaming, stomping around, playing too loudly with is toys, what? She also needs to tell you at what times it is happening and on how regular a basis. Try not to get into a slanging match - difficult I know - but it'll just make things worse. I know the temptation is to go and shout at her and call her names but, after all that, you still have to live next door to her. Maybe invite her round when you and N are having a normal play and let her see that he's not actually that bad. Ask her what she suggests, other than what you're doing, ie, out for about 4-5 hours a day, to help alleviate the noise. If she has no suggestions or sees that he is just playing normally and being a toddler then she might ease up a little bit.

I think the main thing is to stay calm and put the ball back in her court and make her come up with more suggestions other than what you're doing. Try and pre-empt what you think she'll say and have answers prepared, ie, that you take him out every day, he doesn't make noise after 7pm unless he is ill and that feeding time with a toddler is not meant to be a silent affair.

Good luck.

Does she know you are pregnant again? ?

I take it that no one else around you is complaining about the noise then, just her? If so it seems that she is the one with the problem and its not N's fault.

I'll admit that baby noise is something that wouls tip me over the edge, however youre in an aprtment block, there is bound to be some noise! I dont know if rational talking to her would work, she seems to be a right old loon.

If you have a baby shower, you MUST invite her. ?

WNS. Babies cry/make noise. But you can only limit that so far really.
If I was your neighbour, I'd probably be fed up with the noise too but I wouldn't have shouted at your baby (unless she's 'on the edge' or something). I think when you're a parent, it's easier to 'drown out' the noise, especially if it's happy screeches/squeals etc. TBH, those noises from a baby annoy me just as much as crying does!

Do you hear much/any noise from any other your other neighbours? ie, are the walls particularly thin? If you hear noise from other neighbours on a regular basis then i guess it's just 'life in an apartment'. If you don't, then I guess i can understand why she's 'picking on' N but it still doesn't mean she's in the right.

Have a big row, which results in them approaching your H as he seems more reasonable. This leads to a frosty silence between the two of you, but reserved smiles for your H. Worked for me ?

Seriosly though, this seems like good advice. What a nightmare though!

MrsD makes good suggestions. If she is the only one complaining about the noise, does she complain about other people as well, or just you? Is there any scope for gettnig the management company/committee involved?

I think I'd go and see her and point out that she's the only one complaining about noise, and as babies go N isn't that bad. I would also remind her that she has chosen to live in an apartment block, and therefore should expect some noise.

After that I would lean into her face and quietly, but menacingly, tell her that if she ever shouted in my child's face again I would slice off her leather tits and make a bag out of them. I am furious on your behalf. How dare she.

I'd throw her a get the fuck over it as I left too.

I think she sounds like she has nothing better to do than sit and wait for noise to enjoy winding herself up about it. She also doesn't sound like she had any children ever, as it's for sure a horrible noise if you've not been inured (sp?) to it over the years.

Ignore her. She'll look back fondly on these days when he hits 4 and the little testosterone surges come in. mwaaaah haaaahaaaa. Oh yes, and the twos.

Get her some earplugs, and WEES about communal living. It's horrible for you to feel that every little noise your baby naturally makes is a problem for someone else, but she can't behave as if babies shouldn't exist.

My best friend has an elderly widowed neighbour. She's forever complaining about the other residents of the flats, claiming attempted break-ins to my friends flat ("I've reported everything to the Police, they've got a big file on this block" - no they haven't, my friend phoned to check), and lately noting damage to all the external flat doors. Except the only one that's not damaged is Mad Old Lady, and everyone knows MOL's the culprit. The long and short of it is that she's slightly dotty, and has nothing else to think about.

There's two ways about it - if you genuinely think she's making it up, refer it to management as harassment. If there's any doubt in your mind, keep a detailed log yourself. My second suggestion is to go round and knock with the events in Noahs' day "he's awake now, so you might hear him", "we're going out now, so any noise isn't us", "He's asleep, so you can't possibly hear him" and "he's having a tantrum, I'll pop round and let you know when it's over".

Though that actually might be harassment, Possibly ?

Ask her is she wants someone to mediate. Make it official. She is being unreasonable.

What MrsD and Hazel etc said, really.

I'd go and have a 'nice' chat with her, with N (in fact I'd go super cheesy and get him to draw her a picture ?)

If you feel you can't do this without doing a lioness impression, send H ?

then if she persists I'd contact the others in the flats nearby/management co.

also I would say in the nice chat that I understand that things can get to us all sometimes but really that is no excuse for being aggressive to a toddler and how you hope if she has a prob in the future, she'll bring it calmly to your attention rather than shouting in his face and upsetting him,

Casually tell her that you are having triplets!

Along with others, MrsB speaks sense.

I'm not a fan of kids so I thought my opinion may be useful as it's an opposite view point. I do find child noise very grating, even happy noise so I can see how it would annoy her. However, there is nothing at all that can be done. Kids make noise and if you choose to live in a shared environment then that's part of the package. I think her shouting at him is totally unacceptable but I agree that you need to try and deal with it in a "friendly" manner so as not to make it worse. It's a total no win situation though, N is never going to silent (nor should be be) and therefore I can't see that she will be happy. Throw in a new baby in a few months and that is sure to fire her up again. I think I'd move!

Just out of interest is she below you? I know when we lived in our apartment it was the people above us that we heard the most so I'd hazard a guess that if the people below you aren't complaining there can't be as big an issue as she's making out.

MrsD, you speak far too sensibly for my liking and I KNOW that you are right. I think pre emtping what she will suggest is a great thing to do. I will send H round as there is no way in my pregnant state i can stay calm enough not to tell her to put her leather tits away and she offends me by getting them out round hte pool. Naked 70 year old women is far more offensive than a baby crying. I honestly cant keep him any quieter than i do.

Mal, I told her i was pregnant and H gushed to her "isnt it fabulous news" and how he couldnt wait she was clearly not thinking it was fabulous ?

DAve, no one else has complained. We do hear noise from other apartments, its a very echoey block, its not the walls, they are thick, but we all have huge windows on the same side at the front of each apartment so her balcony is right next to our lounge windows that span across our open plan apartment (flat fronted block)

I dont deny we are noisy and she can hear us and I really do appreciate that its annoying. But i really dont know what else i can do.

Hickory, you are right, any noise from a baby is annoying, not just crying. I honestly do sympoathise with her as she likes to live in her bubble of silence, but i just cant help her maintain that.

heidi, I much prefer your advice over that sensible MRsD. ? After i throw the "get the *** over it" I will get N to wave and say "bye bye" ?

I think MrsD and MrsB offer very sensible and rational advice. My worry, however, is that you are not dealing with a rational or sensible woman because what you describe is the behaviour of somebody unhinged. Now, if I was stuck at home all day, then the level of noise you describe (whilst perfectly 'normal' child noise) might just be enough to send me a bit gaga, but I would be trying to think of this as 'our' problem, and not just yours.

I'm assuming that you guys moving isn't an option?

In which case I'm torn between ignoring it (and her) completely whilst hoping that she moves, or slipping a note under her door saying that her aggressive behaviour towards your child is unacceptable and that you will not hesitate to report any such further behaviour to the police. I would certainly not be inviting a potential loon into my home. How dare she be so pass-remarkable and judgmental about your child? Do not let this person into your life any more than you have already.

Jk I love your idea of going round every hour telling her our movements. Thats brilliant.

Im sure she already has a book on everyone in the apartment. She is SUCH a mrs mangle. She came to my door the otehr day asking I was using the laundry (shared). I told her no becauase we have our own washing machine and she ranted on about how someone had three loads, one in the washer, one on top and one in the dryer. How on earth can anyone have so much washing. Its been there an hour. Why would you leave it there? Do you know anyone who uses the laundry? WILL YOU FECK OFF FROM MY DOOR. Someone clearly has got a life and isnt runnin back in to check its finished. How the hell do I know who uses the laundry - I DONT STALK PEOPLE LIKE YOU

Pooch, she lives at the side of us. Downstairs dont complain but i know they do hear us as i am friends with them but they have said the noise dfoesnt bother them. We have wooden floors so they hear running and bouncing balls rather than any crying. They dont hear that.

MRsB, i really should send H in. I just dont trust myself, i have had too long of her slagging off noah to my face and being polite over it. I just dont want him to be too soft with her, which i suspect he might be.

We are looking to move in a couple of months, but there is NOTHING on the market, seriously. There is a rental crisis over here and has been for some time. If we do move (i havent told her, norty pans) then i really hope she gets some young kids in that like to PARTY

I'd love to be rational and siuggest what all the sensible people have said. However, this woman is clearly not rational herself. Screaming in a baby's face would suggest that trying to reason with her may not be the most logical course of action.

Had she done that to any of my children, I'd do what Holio said.

Lou, i have jsut spoken with my mother and she also suggests that i totally ignore her from now on. Even if we stay here just ignore her. I am sick of her crisitisms and being polite to her and sympathetic, which means i practically agree with her that my son is a pain, which is not what i mean, im just smiling and being polite.

Its funny, the nanny said today before i left "who is that woman next door, she is weird, she comes out every time i leave and pops her head round her door". She is so nosey its untrue. A real lifemrs mangle. I am not sure i can ignoe her is she speaks to me though, i really dont know if i can be that rude. I dont think she is unhinged, i just think she has nothing better in her life to do and so everything annoys her if it isnt how she likes things.

What annoys me is she has been bad mouthing us to anyone in the partment block that will listen and i am sick of keeping a dignified silence so i shall be telling EVERYONE i see in the lift of her agressive behaviour ?

I'm with Lou on this one. Like Pooch, I'm not a fan of children, but the noise my neighbours' kids make doesn't bother me - they're kids, that's what they do. I'd leave it alone on the basis that engaging with loons is almost always a terrible idea.

Aw, pans, she sounds a nightmare! I would just try to ignore her, be civil and let your H deal with her. I used to have a neighbour, who was in the block of 4 beside ours (so not even attached)- she used to comment EVERY time I saw her that she heard the babies crying. Well, no sh!t, that's what babies do, and since I have two then that's double the noise!

You need to teach N to say 'Bye bye leather tits'. ? Seriously, does she get them out at the pool? That's vile!