WWYD - Bridesmaid??

I cant really comment on the 'logistics' on this but one of my BM stepped down as she fell pregnant & was due 4 wks after wedding. Im glad she did as it would have been far too long a day for her on her feet etc not to mention she could have went early. I was lucky to have another good friend who fitted the already purchased dress!

From what other people say, your friend will be tired & there isnt really anyway predicting her size 4 wks after giving birth - the weight could fall off her, it could stay with her a while. Is there anyway you could speak to a dressmaker, explain the situation & see if they will make a dress say 1 week before the wedding? Not ideal but if you buy a 'big' dress you may spend a fortune getting it altered & perhaps ruin the shape (realistically 2/3 sizes is the most you can alter down to).

Hi Lulu_x

I am in pretty much the same position, one of my BM's is due 8 weeks before the wedding. I have sat down with her and discussed how she feels about still being a BM and she said she would want to be at the wedding anyway so still wants to be part of it and be a BM. I have spoken to about 3 dress shops and they have advised that if we order a dress approx 2 sizes bigger than her usual size then this should be adequate. If the worst comes to the worst they will remove the zip back, and add a corest back with a satin panel. Or they can adjust it down by up to 2 sizes. We have been to try them on now before she gets any bigger so that we can get an idea of styles and colours etc.

Everyone is different and it is really tricky to know what to do, but if you have spoken to her and she still wants to do it then I would respect her decision. I would go together and speak to some dress shops and get their advice. It will be added stress for both of you, so just make sure you are both happy to take this on.

Hi LuLu_x

This very thing happened to me at my first wedding many yrs ago. In the end my best friend and I decided that she would still sign the register and be fully included in all the plans but not wear a BM dress. She instead bought a maxi dress a few days before the wedding in colours to suit my theme and she said she was so glad because she wasnt feeling very glam but very mumsy. She also chose not to appear in the main wedding pics but to have a few with us seperately. So glad actually because 6months later she was back to pre baby shape she couldnt bare to look at wedding pics with her in haha. Must say she is my best friend and just having her there was more than enough and she was a fantastic help in all prep for wedding as was my other bridesmaid. Sadly she has moved very far away know and wont be able to attend this wedding at all ☹️

Cant really comment on whether she should be bridesmaid or not, only I would say that if she really is happy you would not be being selfish- particularly if you are flexible around her duties like the seating arrangements etc like you said.

I just wanted to recommend an idea for the dress. Have you looked at the 'twisty' multiway dresses a few places are doing now? I know Dessy and Twobirds do them, they arent necessarily the cheapest but I think should compare well to made to order ones. There are also cheaper ones available such as love label (where we got ours) but fewer colour options. Because you literally tie the thing on your size can fluctuate hugely and it wouldn't matter a bit - the sizing is only for the top of the 'skirt' that comes up under the bust and then you tie the top half in any way you want which secures the top of the skirt. Sorry I may not have explained that very well. I was well over a size smaller between getting the dress and wearing it as a bridesmaid and it was absoluely fine.

(I was considering the same for my BM as I thought she could have been pregnant at the time- she is assuring me she wont be now!!)

Just an idea! HTH

I have the opposite problem! One of my BMs is trying to get pregnant now, and told me I better not dare fire her as a BM if she is!!! LOL Can't say much as I love her to bits and am sad that they aren't having luck getting pregnant so I do kinda hope she does but maybe not for another few months so she'll not be as big (her dress is already ordered!!!)

I'd leave it up to your friend, ask her what she thinks about the dress and she may come to the conclusion she should definately drop out.