WWYD - Child maintenance

Absolutely keep them updated, if you are doing the travelling then that should be factored into what you pay. Simple.

Hiya, hows things been with you? I hardly get on here lately

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All good <touch wood> Ex and MrKB seem to be on talking instead of shouting terms. Eldest goes to Secondary school in September so there have been endless school meetings where they have just had to get along.

What about you? Are thing's settled now with the ex? And how is your brother?

Absolutely inform them, it should be factored in.

I think you're being totally fair and honest. It has to work both ways!

Also agree that you should inform them. You have done the right thing ?

Talking terms? Whats that like??

Things are good with us actually. She has met someone and is moving in with him so all quiet on the abuse front as she is happy currently

My brother is not good - had him taken to hospital after he hit rock bottom, stole a car etc. then he went 3 1/2 weeks without a drink - looked 10 years younger then last Wednesday he started drinking again. It breaks my heart but I cant be constantly upset and stressed as its his choice to drink

How is the eldest about starting secondary school? excited, worried or both?

xx

Thanks for the replies. I know she will go mental though so wanted to know if anyone sees it from her side

She refuses point blank to do any of the driving though

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?Oh P that's horrible, are the kids still with your mum? I really hope he gets the help he really needs one day and realises what he could lose. It must be so hard on you all

Eldest is a bit scared as she is the only one from her school going to this particular school. She didn't get any of her choices which upset her but lately she's been having some trouble at school so it might be good for her to have a clean break. The girls she wants to be friends with are using her and being quite nasty, thankfully she's quite tough and can take it but the sooner she leaves the better.

I can't believe she's going big school though. I've started buying her uniform and she looks so grown up in it.

A fresh start away from them will do her good

The kids are living with my mum now. When he was ok he was having them on a weekend but thats not happening now and I can only have them on a Saturday as I am working 6 days a week now.

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Blimey you must be shattered! Are there any groups or local support networks that can help out? You didn't have much luck with SS did you.

As for the ex kicking off about money, thats inevitable, however the CSA website does that travel costs should be taken into account when calculating maintenance.

SS were not interested at all.

Its not going to be too bad as during the summer holidays our youngest doesnt have dancing on a Saturday morning so we can have them as Mr P will be at home. then after the holidays My brothers youngest starts full time school so mum wont be as stressed. At the moment she only gets 2 hours a day to herself

What I am doing on a Saturday is not my normal job, its a market stall I am doing for myself so doesnt feel like work and I can quit at any time

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I'm fairly sure you are under no obligation to inform them when he has a pay rise, it's only when the PWC (parent with care) requests a re-assessment.So you are being more then fair already, so she should just lump it.

you are being totally fair and she has chosen to move further away so if she doesn't like it tough

if she goes mental put the phone down and ignore -

we have one and the only way to deal with ours is to stick to your guns and ignore idiotic behaviour. Supernanny her - ignore the bad and reward the good.

Good Luck

ps I hate ex wives and I hate the CSA you have my every sympathy