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Beginner October 2004

WWYD (Sensitive)

Missus Jolly, 24 April, 2008 at 14:30 Posted on Off Topic Posts 0 9

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I have just spoken to my cousin. I haven't had contact with him for about 13 years. Long story short, my Auntie, who I also haven't seen for about 13 years is seriously ill in hospital with not very long to live (months to weeks). He is keen for me to go and visit her.

I haven't seen her for all this time because her and my mother didn't get on. Funny thing is that I also culled my mother long ago as she isn't a terribly nice person (to put it simplistically). As far as Auntie goes, my mother always painted her as a terrible person, I'm not sure whether she was as my mother is a renowned liar. But ultimately, I don't really know her.

The WWYD is - should I go and visit her. My reasons against are:

- Is it appropriate? I really don't think that it is!
- I have a relative who is also ill with cancer, visiting someone who is terminally ill with a similar condition fills me with dread.

Reasons for:
- My cousin has asked me, so it seems wrong not to.
- What kind of a person doesn't visit a dying relative? I think that not going will leave me feeling bad for a very long time.

WWYD please?

?

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9 replies

Latest activity by Missus Jolly, 24 April, 2008 at 17:28

Beginner September 2003
Fluffy · 24 April, 2008 at 14:34
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I'd go. You really don't have much to loose by going. If you remind yourself before going in that not ALL cancer patients end up terminal and every situation is different then you may be okay.

I love my nieces. Even if I was estranged from them for years I would feel so happy to see them before I died❤️
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Beginner May 2008
Kit Phisto · 24 April, 2008 at 14:39
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Sorry to hear your dilemma.

If this were to happen to me - (bearing in mind it looks like I'm about to lose the extremly limited contact I have with my aunts/uncles due to family rows) I think I would go. It might not mean much to me, but if it means something to them and it's within my power to do so, I would oblige. As you say, not going may leave you feeling like it's something you should have done.

I'm not sure that helps too much, but hope you can come to a decision you are comfortable with.?
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Beginner May 2003
Quantum · 24 April, 2008 at 14:44
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If you are going to regret something, regret something you've done rather than something you haven't. Go!
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Mr JK · 24 April, 2008 at 14:50
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I'm in the "go" camp too - especially as, from what you say, it sounds as though your relationship with your aunt was largely filtered (and distorted) through your mother, whom you've since culled.
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Beginner October 2004
Missus Jolly · 24 April, 2008 at 14:57
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Thanks for your replies, much appreciated.
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Vera · 24 April, 2008 at 15:27
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quote:Originally posted by Quantum
If you are going to regret something, regret something you've done rather than something you haven't. Go!
id="quote">

WQS, also, I think your Aunt would be chuffed to see you. It would probably make her day.
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Beginner
Helibop · 24 April, 2008 at 15:32
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I would go, especially if you have been asked to by her son. Like others have said I feel there is little to lose.
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Mrs JMP · 24 April, 2008 at 15:42
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I would go.

My Dad's Sister had not seen him for 6 years. When we were told that my Dad would not survive being on life support, we contacted her.

We gave the option if she wanted to see Dad & she said yes.

Infact, she stayed with us for 48hrs & was involved with Consultants meetings as a member of our family.

She told us after he died, she was glad that she was not excluded & got to say goodbye, rather than a phonecall when it's too late.

xxx
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Beginner
Tommo · 24 April, 2008 at 16:15
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I would go. It gives you an opportunity to make your own mind up about your Auntie and to lay any unfinished business to rest. If you don't you could thiuk 'what if' when it is too late.

If you go and you regret it, then hey ho. But you could do a lot of good for everyone concerned.
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Beginner October 2004
Missus Jolly · 24 April, 2008 at 17:28
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I do have reservations, but I'm going to go. Thanks again ?
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