WWYHD- restaurant bill splitting (bit long!)

Cull. Can't believe the cheek of the girl!

I would definitely ask her for money for the taxi.

It's really annoying when people do this, isn't it?

I wouldn't go out if I only just had enough money to cover what I was going to consume.

I'm all for just splitting bills equally regardless of who has had what.

But I wouldn't mention the taxi money. You might as well just accept your friend is a tightwad tbh and remember that in future...

quote:Originally posted by spacecadet_99
Cull. Can't believe the cheek of the girl!

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I can, I've seen similar (although with less money involved). Yes, I agree that you should ask her for the taxi money, and then cull. She sounds rude, and stingy.

Re the bill, you should have pulled her on at at the time and pointed out tho her that everyone was paying the same.

I'd definitely ask her for her share of the taxi, and probably make a point of saying how the non drinkers paid their share of the meal too.

I hhhhhhhhhhate that.

I wouldn't mention it but I wouldn't invite her out again. She should have known how much the evening was likely to have cost and been prepared or offered her credit card for her share of the meal and kept some cash back for the taxi.

I would have got the bus home or gone to a cashpoint - I would never have jumped in and assumed others would pay my share. That's pretty appalling behaviour by anyone's standards. ☹️!]

quote:Originally posted by Orly Bird

quote:Originally posted by spacecadet_99
Cull. Can't believe the cheek of the girl!

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I can, I've seen similar (although with less money involved). Yes, I agree that you should ask her for the taxi money, and then cull. She sounds rude, and stingy.

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The meal I can just about understand as people can sometimes be like that, but the taxi thing is just ridiculous - if I was short of money to put into the pot, I'd make sure to arrange to pay someone back for my share, not just say 'I haven't got any money left'. I'd remember it for next time.

I usually just split the bill because it is way too much hassle not to!
but i guess she may have thought she had enough money to go out but it got too expensive? i know it must be hard not really being able to afford to chuck in the money?

quote:Originally posted by HeidiHole
Re the bill, you should have pulled her on at at the time and pointed out tho her that everyone was paying the same.

I'd definitely ask her for her share of the taxi, and probably make a point of saying how the non drinkers paid their share of the meal too.

I hhhhhhhhhhate that.

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WHHS

This happened to me on Wednesday. Very annoying. I'd cull.

See, I don't think it's worth culling an otherwise good friend over that, but I'd want her to know that she can't get away with it.

Drop her an email or call her (depending on how you normally communicate) saying "Just wanted to remind you that your share of the taxi last night was £X. Would you like my bank details to transfer it or will you just give me the cash next time?"

quote:Originally posted by SophieM
I would definitely ask her for money for the taxi.

It's really annoying when people do this, isn't it?

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Thanks everyone! Can't cull her i'm afraid, she's a workmate.

My OH also said to ask for the taxi money but i don't want to end up looking like i'm even more of a tightwad than her (as Fimble said!) but asking for the money back. With close friends we'll often pay for a taxi one time and the other person will pay the next time. But i know she'll never pay!

I completely agree though, don't go out if you don't have enough money to pay your way. I get all uncomfortable and twitchy if people start with 'well you had scallops, i only had soup' and suchlike - and i try to make sure i don't eat out with those people again!

I have to say that I think this is pretty rude. Sometimes it works in your favour, other times it doesn't. Oh and I'm always the sucker that will stick in some extra to cover other people's tightness. It happened only a few weeks ago and I'm still bitter and annoyed at myself for being an idiot ?

I think I'd ask for the taxi fare just as a matter of principle. Rude cow!

I would definately ask for the share of the taxi money, how rude! If she couldn't have afforded the night out, she shouldn't have gone imo.

I once got so worked up at a meal when there was much arguing about the bill splitting, I was more than happy to split the bill and pay a good tip even though I didn't eat everything and I was a poor student, the others bickering were middle aged women with decent jobs who'd ordered loads of extras but were quibbling about a bottle of wine or something at our end of the table. If it hadn't been my friends hen do I would have said something.

quote:Originally posted by poochanna

I have to say that I think this is pretty rude. Sometimes it works in your favour, other times it doesn't. Oh and I'm always the sucker that will stick in some extra to cover other people's tightness. It happened only a few weeks ago and I'm still bitter and annoyed at myself for being an idiot ?

I think I'd ask for the taxi fare just as a matter of principle. Rude cow!

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I know, I'm annoyed at myself for not making a stand at the time, like HeidiHole said.
But everyone else was engrossed in loud conversation, she slid the money over and when i saw it i said "it's £40 actually". She replied 'yeah, but but i didn't have a starter and some of that kitty money is mine'. (But that was the tip money not the bill!)

My drunken head was already struggling with the bill maths without arguing with her. Wish i had now though!

WWIHD?
Well, she was only putting in 8 quid less, and you already had 20 quid tip plus 5x2 from the 40. So that was an excess for tip of 30. Take her 8 away is 22. If bill was 6x38, food was 228, so your 22 was 10%. Not great, but not nothing. So personally, I wouldn't have put any more in - her meanness would have come off the tip, not out of my pocket.

Also, I know it's easy to be wise in hindsight - but why did you cover her share of the taxi? I would have split it between everyone - share the cost, and share the grievance.

Tbh, although I think she is in the wrong, I think you've put yourself in this position by subbing for her.
The reason she does it, is probably because someone is always ready to do that.

I don't think you can do anything now. However, in future if I knew the others, I'd say in advance, look, if tightwad tries her usual trick, I'm going to suggest we split it according to what was had. If she is one of the drinkers, that might put her on the spot.

FWIW, we always just split evenly, and I am always disadvantaged as a non drinker - but - it's life. Every so often someone always says, 'MG, we have a tenner too much, you have it - you're always overpaying' - and I accept.

Next time - don't make her meanness your problem.
If she offers 30, say - sorry, we've split it this way so we don't have to go into who had what - make her tell the whole group that she wants it properly split. Basically - pass the hassle right back to her.

If everyone is drinking the same, we just split bills equally. If someone isn't drinking, usually they put in the cash to roughly cover the cost of what they had plus tip and then the rest of us split the excess of the bill.

I would also be asking for her share of the taxi and in future arranging it so that she gets dropped off last ?

quote:Originally posted by MarineGirl
WWIHD?
Well, she was only putting in 8 quid less, and you already had 20 quid tip plus 5x2 from the 40. So that was an excess for tip of 30. Take her 8 away is 22. If bill was 6x38, food was 228, so your 22 was 10%. Not great, but not nothing. So personally, I wouldn't have put any more in - her meanness would have come off the tip, not out of my pocket.

Also, I know it's easy to be wise in hindsight - but why did you cover her share of the taxi? I would have split it between everyone - share the cost, and share the grievance.id="red">

Tbh, although I think she is in the wrong, I think you've put yourself in this position by subbing for her.
The reason she does it, is probably because someone is always ready to do that.

I don't think you can do anything now. However, in future if I knew the others, I'd say in advance, look, if tightwad tries her usual trick, I'm going to suggest we split it according to what was had. If she is one of the drinkers, that might put her on the spot.

FWIW, we always just split evenly, and I am always disadvantaged as a non drinker - but - it's life. Every so often someone always says, 'MG, we have a tenner too much, you have it - you're always overpaying' - and I accept.

Next time - don't make her meanness your problem.
If she offers 30, say - sorry, we've split it this way so we don't have to go into who had what - make her tell the whole group that she wants it properly split. Basically - pass the hassle right back to her.

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There were four in the taxi and the other two were dropped off first and handed over their share to her. She got off next and said 'I've not got any money left' and just gave me their cash. I couldn't pass her tightness onto the taxi driver so i had to pay her part of it.

I know that she talks about money a lot (like about the price of things and what's a rip off and what isn't) so i don't think she's got a huge amount of spare cash. i've only been out with her a handful of times and never been stung before. I paid in the restaurant as it seemed unfair to take it out of a tip (i'd say 10% as standard but a bit extra for good service) - i waitressed at uni and it always sticks in my mind - but yeah, i should have stood up to her at the time and not let it slide.

It's funny because i'm not one to shy away from confrontation usually, she just caught me on the hop.

I wouldnt bother asking for it, i d just never speak to her again. sadly you cant as she s a workmate, so on that basis, i just wouldnt invite her out anywhere again. what she did is pretty much the biggest social sin anyone can do in my book. People who knock bits off for not having x y or z should be hung, drawn and quartered.

I hate that with a passion.

I would ask her for the taxi share but not necessarily expect it. She has to know you're not prepared to sub her nights out though. If she argued about the cost of the night and not being able to afford it then she shouldn't have drank so much or arranged a lift home.

I refuse to go out again with a couple (they are friends of friends rather than my friends) after they expected the waiters of our favourite restaurant to itemise the bill to who had what, down to the poppadoms which cost 20p!. I was furious, humiliated and embarrassed beyond belief. It took about 20 minutes for everyone to individually recall what they had ordered through the night as they were 10 people having a 3 course meal with drinks. You can imagine the palava. Never again!

quote:Originally posted by HickoryI know that she talks about money a lot (like about the price of things and what's a rip off and what isn't) so i don't think she's got a huge amount of spare cash.

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Ah, the taxi makes sense - how very rude of her.
You know, I wouldn't assume she's short on cash - she's more likely to get away with it if people do!
In my own experience, the person I know who is most likely to dodge a bill or insist on an even split, is 35, lives rent free with his parents, and has just put a 70K cash deposit on his first home.
Similarly - MrMG's parents are friendly with a multi millionaire whose wife took something she had worn back to Monsoon and claimed it was ripped, because she changed her mind about it - it was about 30 quid on sale. (we were all ?)
People who talk a lot about money, often have a lot of it to talk about - being mean helps you to hoard!

For me, it doesn't matter what you have/don't have, you split the bill equally (if in a big group).

I've ended up putting in £20 before now for my share, when I was driving and only had a portion of soup/roll. It's just the done thing, no excuses.

BUT saying that, it's an unwritten rule in our social group. I would never openly pull someone up on it, that'd feel so awkward.

And if we have guests from out of town staying for the weekend, then we alwasy get the bill for whatever food/drink we have out. And the same goes for vice versa, we're always been 'treated' when staying with friends.

I just thought this was the norm for everyone? [:I]

We only split the bill if we are going for an indian and there's usually about 15 of us and so we all throw £10 in as you take your own beer so there's no drinks to worry about. This usually covers as a tip too.

For more expensive restaurants we all just usually pay our own. We work it out separately as some of us don't have starters and we always buy our drinks as we go along from the bar.

When we go out drinking on a night out we never buy rounds, we just all get our own, its a much cheaper night.

We did get a taxi back on Saturday night though (3 of us) and my friend got out first and gave me £2.00? It had cost £4.00 to get to her house and when we got to mine it was £14. She's not been out for over a year so I'll not worry too much.

Always pay your own way that's what I say unless there's just 2 of you and you're having more or less the same, then its ok to split it.

I also hate this as well, it's rude and I wouldn't invite her out again. I went out the other week for a curry with friends 6 of us in total and one of my good friends husband is exactly like this, he even got out his phone to calculate what they had ate and drank etc. I couldn't believe it and even she wasn't impressed. I have a friend who is pregnant and when we go out she does pay less as she obviously doesn't drink and that's fine.

quote:Originally posted by leafy


For more expensive restaurants we all just usually pay our own. We work it out separately as some of us don't have starters and we always buy our drinks as we go along from the bar.

Always pay your own way that's what I say unless there's just 2 of you and you're having more or less the same, then its ok to split it.

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how does this work though when you order wine? you order as a couple and everyone else does their own thing? how miserable is that?

With certain groups of friends, we will mention before we order if we want to pay for our own meals. This is mostly with my old friends from uni as we got into the habit of paying for our own share when we were poor students. So with them, I feel happy to say 'I'm not drinking/not having desert, so will get a separate bill' And that works great with us, however I wouldn't do this if I was out with work colleagues.

As long as its communicated before ordering, I wouldn't have a problem, but the way this girl did it would annoy me, especially if it even itself out because she'd had more wine.
And as for not being able to pay the taxi, I would have been furious, and would certainly make a point of letting her know she still owes you for it. Surely, if she couldn't afford to get home, she shouldn't have gone out. I would always make sure I had enough to cover the whole fare home alone.

quote:Originally posted by NickJ
i wouldnt bother asking for it, i d just never speak to her again. sadly you cant as she s a workmate, so on that basis, i just wouldnt invite her out anywhere again. what she did is pretty much the biggest social sin anyone can do in my book. People who knock bits off for not having x y or z should be hung, drawn and quartered.

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What about people who get a calculator out of their bag? ??

quote:Originally posted by Boop

quote:Originally posted by NickJ
i wouldnt bother asking for it, i d just never speak to her again. sadly you cant as she s a workmate, so on that basis, i just wouldnt invite her out anywhere again. what she did is pretty much the biggest social sin anyone can do in my book. People who knock bits off for not having x y or z should be hung, drawn and quartered.

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What about people who get a calculator out of their bag? ??

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those people are ALSO very annoying ?

I'm the regular non-drinker in our group and I'm always happy to pay my share including any wine / drinks. Thankfully for my pocket my mates normally divide the cost of the wine separately to the meal but I really don't mind adding in - sometimes as has already been said it works in your favour! My mum would be the sort that you would cull though!

quote:Originally posted by Boop

quote:Originally posted by NickJ
i wouldnt bother asking for it, i d just never speak to her again. sadly you cant as she s a workmate, so on that basis, i just wouldnt invite her out anywhere again. what she did is pretty much the biggest social sin anyone can do in my book. People who knock bits off for not having x y or z should be hung, drawn and quartered.

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What about people who get a calculator out of their bag? ??

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This is what I was saying in my reply. My friends husband actually gets out his phone to use his calculator and to work out what they are paying.

He is known to be tight, I don't know why we invite him. This is how tight he is, he'd rather park miles away from the town centre and walk in than pay 90p an hour to use a car park.

I'd always prefer to pay for what each person has had at a restaurant, although if it's a large group or if everyone has had roughly the same then splitting the bill is easier.

Being poor, I don't appreciate subsidising other people's expensive tastes. If I'm only having a garlic bread, a pasta dish and a mineral water, why should I help to pay for my friend's glasses of wine, fish starter, steak and desert?

However, the taxi thing is ridiculous and I would be asking her for her share.

I don't think there is a problem with someone paying for just what they had - as long as they make that clear from the off [ie i would love to come out but i am a bit short of cash so will need to watch what i am spending]

what this person did is rude tho and i would definately have to mention the taxi fare to them if nothing else