WWYHD- restaurant bill splitting (bit long!)

That is shockingly rude and I'd make every effort not to socialise with her again.

One of my friends always orders just a starter as she's "not hungry" and then proceeds to eat the vegetables, chips, bread and whatever else she can get her hands on to fill herself up. If anyone leaves something on their plate she shamelessly asks if she can have it- it's extremely embarrassing. She then pays for the starter and her share of the wine. She's not short of cash but she doesn't like spending it.

This would annoy me a lot - H's family are a bit like this and it drives him mad. I think i'd have to mention the taxi so that it registered with her but write off the money as I very much doubt you'll get anything from her!

An example of H's family tightness when eating out - went out for a meal for MIL's birthday - restaurant very accommodating, allowed H and I in early to decorate the table, resident band dedicated a song to MIL and played Happy Birthday whilst they brought a cake out (provided by FIL) so very deserving of a decent tip - we all eat, everyone has 3 courses inc drinks except me and FIL (both driving) - as it comes to dividing up the bill FIL announces it's his treat, he pays the balance and we all agree to put the tip in - H and I chuck in a fiver each (about 15% of the value of what we ate) and no-one else makes a move at all, bearing in mind everyone has just in effect got a free meal...I say loudly (but subtley) here's the plate for the tips, pass it down and I swear SIL, and 2 BIL's put a pound in each - a pound!! Grandmother in law tried to take the coins out to just leave the tenner than H and I had put in before I whisked the plate away from her - absolutely amazing, H was gobsmacked, he sometimes wonders if he is adopted ? I actually felt really embarrassed that we left such a small tip for the great service they gave us (worked out about 5/6% in the end) [:I]

quote:Originally posted by The Beast
I'd always prefer to pay for what each person has had at a restaurant, although if it's a large group or if everyone has had roughly the same then splitting the bill is easier.

Being poor, I don't appreciate subsidising other people's expensive tastes. If I'm only having a garlic bread, a pasta dish and a mineral water, why should I help to pay for my friend's glasses of wine, fish starter, steak and desert?id="red">

However, the taxi thing is ridiculous and I would be asking her for her share.

id="quote">WTheBeastS.

I don't think I would cull, but I would give a phone and say something, especially about the taxi.

We tend to split the bill most of the time, but on big nights out we get the bill for food and drink seperately. This is because I don't drink at all, but on occasion when we have gone out to restaurants people have ordered a LOT of drink (very expensive bottles of wine) and I have always said that i don't mind splitting food at all, but I do get a big annoyed when I have to put in an extra £20 - £30 for booze when I have had a couple of cokes.

So we split the food bill and I just pay for my drinks out of the drink bill. It might sound petty and annoying, but I have always been up front about that. I just don't have £30 extra to put in on top of a meal for something I didn't have. On one night the bar bill was about £100 and I had had 2 cokes, so I just said that I wasn't happy paying a share of that and all our friends were fine.

quote:Originally posted by MrsTracey

quote:Originally posted by The Beast
I'd always prefer to pay for what each person has had at a restaurant, although if it's a large group or if everyone has had roughly the same then splitting the bill is easier.

Being poor, I don't appreciate subsidising other people's expensive tastes. If I'm only having a garlic bread, a pasta dish and a mineral water, why should I help to pay for my friend's glasses of wine, fish starter, steak and desert?id="red">

However, the taxi thing is ridiculous and I would be asking her for her share.

id="quote">WTheBeastS.

id="quote">



It all evens out eventually, over the years you know. ?

Being a non drinker for medical reasons, I often have to say I will pay for what i've had. But my friends understand this as they're heavy drinkers and therefore they won't think its rude. I used to think it was a faff to split bills but after I had to pay £50 for my share of the bill when what i'd had had actually cost £20, I thought never again! If its a small meal or pub meal with a few people having the odd drink, I don't mind splitting equally.

the kitty thing is a good idea though, must try that next time.

quote:Originally posted by Minx Sauce

quote:Originally posted by MrsTracey

quote:Originally posted by The Beast
I'd always prefer to pay for what each person has had at a restaurant, although if it's a large group or if everyone has had roughly the same then splitting the bill is easier.

Being poor, I don't appreciate subsidising other people's expensive tastes. If I'm only having a garlic bread, a pasta dish and a mineral water, why should I help to pay for my friend's glasses of wine, fish starter, steak and desert?id="red">

However, the taxi thing is ridiculous and I would be asking her for her share.

id="quote">WTheBeastS.

id="quote">



It all evens out eventually, over the years you know. ?

id="quote">

Yes, it may well. But at the moment (and for the foreseeable future), I don't have the cash to splash. It's a choice between only paying for what I've had or not going out at all.

I must say for me it depends on the sitation. If it's a small group and we socialise together alot, then yes, it does tend to even out and I have no problem splitting equally. But I am usually the driver of the group, and as we are quite short for cash sometimes, if it is a group of ppl we don't see that often then I must admit I do prefer to pay for my own.

I would never make an issue of it, and usually it's just a case of a tenner, but sometimes it gets quite a big difference and I don't think that is fair.

And I have a friend who gets her phone out [:I]At least I'm not that bad!

quote:Originally posted by The Beast

quote:Originally posted by Minx Sauce

quote:Originally posted by MrsTracey

quote:Originally posted by The Beast
I'd always prefer to pay for what each person has had at a restaurant, although if it's a large group or if everyone has had roughly the same then splitting the bill is easier.

Being poor, I don't appreciate subsidising other people's expensive tastes. If I'm only having a garlic bread, a pasta dish and a mineral water, why should I help to pay for my friend's glasses of wine, fish starter, steak and desert?id="red">

However, the taxi thing is ridiculous and I would be asking her for her share.

id="quote">WTheBeastS.

id="quote">



It all evens out eventually, over the years you know. ?

id="quote">

Yes, it may well. But at the moment (and for the foreseeable future), I don't have the cash to splash. It's a choice between only paying for what I've had or not going out at all.

id="quote">


In that case it's an acceptable thing to do, I agree.

I was talking more about those people in their group (and I'm sure we all have one ?) that does it every time.

I think you should have taken the money out of the tip. It was a fairly hefty tip and I don't think it would have been a problem.

I am always happy to just split the bill, but I also think it's rude of others who have ordered really expensive dishes, not to take into account others in the group who may not have much money and who have missed courses.

In that situation, If I know I have ordered the most expensive food, I am more likely to say I'll put in an extra xx so that the burden doesn't fall to everyone else.

quote:Originally posted by The Beast

quote:Originally posted by Minx Sauce

quote:Originally posted by MrsTracey

quote:Originally posted by The Beast
I'd always prefer to pay for what each person has had at a restaurant, although if it's a large group or if everyone has had roughly the same then splitting the bill is easier.

Being poor, I don't appreciate subsidising other people's expensive tastes. If I'm only having a garlic bread, a pasta dish and a mineral water, why should I help to pay for my friend's glasses of wine, fish starter, steak and desert?id="red">

However, the taxi thing is ridiculous and I would be asking her for her share.

id="quote">WTheBeastS.

id="quote">



It all evens out eventually, over the years you know. ?

id="quote">

Yes, it may well. But at the moment (and for the foreseeable future), I don't have the cash to splash. It's a choice between only paying for what I've had or not going out at all.

id="quote">

I do understand if someone isn't drinking and the others have been drinking a lot, then it seems unfair to ask them to split a big wine bill.

But if it's just a case of 'well you had tiger prawns and steak and i had soup and pasta' then I think it should be a case of pay your share or don't go out.
If you go out to share a meal with friends then that's what it should be - sharing! It kills the night when people start tallying up what they've eaten etc.

I might just be a bit hyper sensitive to the whole thing after last night though [:I]

It would have been easier if you hadn't had a drinks kitty.

9 times out of 10 when I go out with friends some of them arent drinking or some are pregnant. The drinking ones just tend to pay for their own drinks and then we split the bill equally. Makes things easier.

I'd ask for taxi money though, she obv. didn't bring enough out with her but she should have reimbursed you when she saw you today (IMHO)

I would be really annoyed too, over the restaurant and the taxi. It sounds like she didn't realise how expensive the dinner was going to be, but it's no excuse for being underhand about it.

And the tip might have been big but fromthe people who paid it, it was meant to be, not meant to subsidise someone else'e meal.

Hate the whole adding up exactly what you have eaten thing though. Tis very embarassing. Although I do expect to put extra in if I know I have had more expensive choices than everyone else.

I have a friend who always insists on (and makes a big fuss about) paying for exactly what she has had as she is so strapped, but then drinks a shedload of (individual) wine, meaning her itemised bit is usually more than the rest of the group have to pay. She would be better off shutting up!

D

I once went out with my friends for something to eat. We all put in change as a tip and as we were leaving one friend picked up the dish and stuck all the money in her handbag.

quote:Originally posted by Sunset21
I once went out with my friends for something to eat. We all put in change as a tip and as we were leaving one friend picked up the dish and stuck all the money in her handbag.

id="quote">

No way! That's mortifying!

I would usually leave 10% minimum as a tip so for a £228 meal that's about £23. We left £30 which is only 13%. I don't think that's a massive tip.

And yes, a waiter shouldn't lose out on a tip given by appreciative customers because someone is too tight to pay for their dinner!

quote:Originally posted by Sunset21
I once went out with my friends for something to eat. We all put in change as a tip and as we were leaving one friend picked up the dish and stuck all the money in her handbag.

id="quote">

? did nobody stop her??

quote:Originally posted by Sunset21
I once went out with my friends for something to eat. We all put in change as a tip and as we were leaving one friend picked up the dish and stuck all the money in her handbag.

id="quote">

why on earth didnt someone stop her? she s stolen your money. fark me ? and thats at not only her brass neck, but the fact that no one said anything.

I think the others were too busy talking and if they did see they didn't seem particulary bothered, as usual I didn't want to be the one to kick off and spoil things but it's always stuck in my mind. It wasn't a huge amount, just coinage because it wasn't a huge bill, but that's hardly the point.

She's not really a friend anymore - suprise surprise.

I wont go out to dinner with people what argue to the toss over who had what etc.. If you see each other often enough it evens out over time. Last month however my mum invited loads of people out for dinner for her birthday. The bill arrived and everyone was happy to split the bill apart from 1. So we had to sit there an work out who had what for that 1 person. Never again! It took 45 mins to get the figures right as there were loads of us and everyone had been drinking.

Bit cheeky about the cab though so I would get that back.

quote:Originally posted by Sunset21
I once went out with my friends for something to eat. We all put in change as a tip and as we were leaving one friend picked up the dish and stuck all the money in her handbag.

id="quote">

? I don't think I could have contained myself if I saw someone do that, mind you saying that I didn't tackle H's family and neither did he with their tipping tightness - sometimes you are so gobsmacked you can't react in time!

quote:Originally posted by mrs lilly
I wont go out to dinner with people what argue to the toss over who had what etc.. If you see each other often enough it evens out over time. Last month however my mum invited loads of people out for dinner for her birthday. The bill arrived and everyone was happy to split the bill apart from 1. So we had to sit there an work out who had what for that 1 person. Never again! It took 45 mins to get the figures right as there were loads of us and everyone had been drinking.

Bit cheeky about the cab though so I would get that back.

id="quote">

Why didnt' you just work out what that one person had had, subtract that and then split the rest between you? ?

This reminds me of a story a couple of our friends told us. They went out to dinner with another couple and this other couple happened to have a gift card for this restaurant. When the bill came, they worked it out that each couple owed about $45. The GC was for $50 so they threw that in and asked for $5 from our friends. The meal for this other couple was essentially free - I can't imagine being that mean.

quote:Originally posted by Jerseygirl
This reminds me of a story a couple of our friends told us. They went out to dinner with another couple and this other couple happened to have a gift card for this restaurant. When the bill came, they worked it out that each couple owed about $45. The GC was for $50 so they threw that in and asked for $5 from our friends. The meal for this other couple was essentially free - I can't imagine being that mean.

id="quote">


fark me ?

quote:Originally posted by Jerseygirl
This reminds me of a story a couple of our friends told us. They went out to dinner with another couple and this other couple happened to have a gift card for this restaurant. When the bill came, they worked it out that each couple owed about $45. The GC was for $50 so they threw that in and asked for $5 from our friends. The meal for this other couple was essentially free - I can't imagine being that mean.

id="quote">

No ! ?

We used to be friends with a couple who only ever paid their share and it peed me off no end. As soon as the bill arrived she'd go through it with a fine tooth comb, adding up what they'd had down to the coffe, and pay her share exactly. H usually pays by card so she'd give him the cash, leaving him to pay the tip on top, and their share was ALWAYS less than half no matter what they'd had to eat and drink..

I couldn't be arsed saying anything, but we are no longer friends with them for other reasons.

I refuse point blank to be the one responsible for the bill at family gatherings now because of the poor behaviour of some of them (we got landed after my Grandad and "That Blooid="Andale Mono">dy Woman He Married" leaving a restaurant without paying at all, and for two bottles of wine consumed by Uncle & Aunt - that was an expensive meal!)

I try to steer things so that agreement over how the bill is going to be managed is done before the meal.

Oh this is a huge bugbear of mine! My best mate & her hubby decided to start kicking up a fuss when we all went out for dinner for my birthday. Bill arrived, and it was £242 for 10 people, and that included drinks. Now best mate & her hubby had a platter which was on offer at £20, and he drank coke. BUT, they were both quaffing the sangria we'd been ordering, and had desserts, coffees, etc. When the bill came you'd have thought we'd have asked him for £2000 the way he was going on about it! He kept going on that his bill should have only been around £30. He paid up, but it wasn't without a lot of grumbling. Needless to say, we haven't been out with them since.

Hate, hate, hate this kind of thing.

I guess it does even out in the end. I don't normally drink and I have to confess to sometimes getting a bit annoyed having to stump up for huge bills when I've only had water and everyone else is bladdered!

However i went to Spain with friends and they all were drinking wine (reasonably priced) but I ordered 2 G&Ts with the meal not realising they were 10 Euros each!

I was going to put extra in, but then I figured I've put in my dues over the years, so didn't.

I recently went to a good friend's hen night. We all stuck in £20 to the kitty at the start. I hardly drank and was happy for everyone else to get pissed and hoped that they wouldn't notice me barely drinking.
At the end of the night we were asked for more money, to cover our meal and more drinks. I gave the amount I was asked to, knowing full well that it wasn't evenly split based on what each person had, but I didn't care. One girl (whom I had never met before) said that we hadn't had as much as everyone else so we shouldn't pay as much but I did it anyway. I really hate people counting up their individual share. These things happen when you go out as a group.

quote:Originally posted by Boop

quote:Originally posted by mrs lilly
I wont go out to dinner with people what argue to the toss over who had what etc.. If you see each other often enough it evens out over time. Last month however my mum invited loads of people out for dinner for her birthday. The bill arrived and everyone was happy to split the bill apart from 1. So we had to sit there an work out who had what for that 1 person. Never again! It took 45 mins to get the figures right as there were loads of us and everyone had been drinking.

Bit cheeky about the cab though so I would get that back.

id="quote">

Why didnt' you just work out what that one person had had, subtract that and then split the rest between you? ?

id="quote">

because once she started on somebody else seemed to think perhaps it was reasonable as it suddenly dawned on him he had not had a starter. I think there were a couple that had thought it but nobody was going to say anything until the 1st one did.

There's a girl at my work a bit like this. I haven't been out to dinner with her, but I've heard stories.

There's one, which isn't involving a meal but charity bonus ball costing £25 which she didn't pay until it ended and even then she tried to squim out of it by saying that she hadn't won so why should she pay..?.....cause its for charity you bint!

Also she drives but she never seems to drive to work and is always asking for lifts home but not in the "could I possibly get a lift home kind of way" but in the "are you going to this place" kind of way which she shouts across the office, or emails to the whole department. Ever heard of a bus!!!!

Customers do this in my work all the time.

Cant tell you how annoying it is, when you are really busy and you have a large table, they all want seperate bills and they all want to pay seperately.

Grrrr