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Beginner October 2011

"You married a muppet, love"

SuperSpud, 23 May, 2013 at 17:02 Posted on Off Topic Posts 0 20

This was my Dad's assessment on my H today.

After being under the weather recently, today is the first time I have driven our car since beginning of last week. I switched on the engine to be greeted with "Engine Workshop" warning and a variety of warning lights - ABS and ESP. Terrific!

For some reason I thought about the brake lights (vague memory about reading about this problem on a car forum) and left the brake pedal pressed down with a bottle of milk to check if the lights were on. They wasn't. Phoned Dad, checked the fuses & bulbs, nada. Dad picks car up, takes dashboard to pieces and reckons the switch is faulty, so we head off to get a new switch.

No switch in stock, will be tomorrow and Dad is going away for the weekend but said he could fit it before he goes. Perfect...until H chirps in with "Oh, yeah, those warning lights were on last week, but I just ignored it". H has been driving around in a car with no brake lights for over a week - how the feck he avoided being either pulled over by the police or having someone run in the back of him, I don't know.

I'm really cross H has left it, thinking it would "go away" on it's own - now Dad is delaying his break by an hour or so tomorrow, so he can fit the new part, and H is stressing that "what happens if it's not that part that's faulty?" and "what happens if something goes wrong tomorrow, we could be stuck with no car for the weekend". Well, duh, you should have thought about that last week and said something to Dad earlier, rather than thinking it would just disappear. ?

Please, dear otters, cheer me up - tell me your H's have done muppety things and it's not just mine which has had a brain bypass.

20 replies

Latest activity by kharv, 28 May, 2013 at 11:54
  • S
    Beginner October 2011
    SuperSpud ·
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    ? Sorry, that did make me laugh at the mental picture of your shed!

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  • VIvixen
    Beginner December 2012
    VIvixen ·
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    My husband is totally blind, twice this week he has been out on work do's. twice he has lost his cane, so this morning he had to commute into London with no cane!

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  • Ali_G
    Beginner October 2012
    Ali_G ·
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    Oh no, what a muppet your husband is!!!

    Ok, here's my muppetry husband story.

    Hubby rarely cooks dinner, mostly because I love cooking so don't let him. Yesterday, however, he had to go out early so he had to do dinner. Dinner was salmon, new potatoes and steamed broccoli.

    He's never used the steamer before, but it's dead easy. It's one of those metal ones that you just put in the saucepan. So, I tell him, you put about an inch of water in the bottom of the saucepan, and just let it steam. Simples, yes? Or not. He goes away, leaves the pan boiling, not simmering, and 15 minutes later the smoke alarm goes off. Obviously all the water had gone and the vegetables were being smoked!! He then starts shouting at me, telling me the contraption is stupid and we're never having steamed vegetables again.

    *sigh*

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  • Little Pixie
    Beginner September 2011
    Little Pixie ·
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    ?

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  • Pompey
    Beginner June 2012
    Pompey ·
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    My husband is just a total muppet.

    Last Saturday he was cleaning the kitchen and I could hear him crashing and grumbling. Turns out, he couldn't get the cleaning spray to work.... All he need to do was turn knob on the end of the nozzle. He was proper ranting about how stupid it was and how are people supposed to know. Kn0bber.

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  • Pompey
    Beginner June 2012
    Pompey ·
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    I know! I just said - 'well, show's how much cleaning you do'.

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  • Ali_G
    Beginner October 2012
    Ali_G ·
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    I think there are many different steamers. Ours is a little silver tray looking thing on legs which stands in the bottom of the saucepan (that's the only way I can desribe it). So, if you put too much water in, it'll go over the tray and you'll just get boiled veg instead of steamed.

    PP, that is probably one of the funniest stupid man stories I've heard!!!

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  • ~Peanut~
    Beginner December 2012
    ~Peanut~ ·
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    We moved out of our rented flat recently and we tidied up the garden before we left. While I was at work H pulled out a whole patch of very pretty bluebells which were pretty much the only nice thing about the garden because "they weren't there when we moved in". When we moved in it was December.

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  • Saisi
    Beginner June 2011
    Saisi ·
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    My H often does muppety things and I'm convinced it's because his mum never made him help around the house. He says he had to do chores. Actually, he only had to polish the mirrors. That was his job, for years. So he can polish a mirror beautifully... but do nothing else. He can only work a vacuum cleaner and use a washing machine because *I* have taught him.

    Recently he tried to put A in a bath that was too hot. I asked him what the f*ck he thought he was doing. Apparently, he left his hand in the bath while filling it up, and thought the temperature was fine. The idea that his hand would have adapted to the rising temperature had completely passed him by.

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  • S
    Beginner October 2011
    SuperSpud ·
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    ? Thanks ladies, I feel much better knowing others have their H's muppety moments to contend with too!

    I think Pompey's H wins the award for "Best Muppet Moment"!

    The part for our car has arrived...and my Dad has taken it away on holiday to North Wales with him! Whose the flipping muppet now?!

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  • HatTrick
    Beginner September 2010
    HatTrick ·
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    Jo that is funny! Show us a pic!

    I'm the ditzy one in this household.

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  • C
    Beginner April 2014
    ClaireKB ·
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    I'm the muppet in our house. I once got really angry in an argument, stormed out the room shouting 'I'm not an idiot!', promptly fell over my own shoes and landed with my bare bum in the air because I hadn't done my trousers up properly and they came down when I fell over. I think OH nearly had an aneurysm laughing.

    Oh, and OP, I spent a year with a parking sticker over the warning light on my car dashboard. I figured if I couldn't see it I didn't have to worry about it.

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  • Red Kite
    Beginner
    Red Kite ·
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    My H2B put fairy liquid in the dishwasher because he couldn't find the new box of dishwasher tablets - where I'd left them on top of the dishwasher.

    If you ever want to shampoo your kitchen floor put fairy liquid in your dishwasher ...

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  • kharv
    Beginner March 2012
    kharv ·
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    View quoted message

    Mine did exactly the same thing.

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  • Kjay
    Beginner August 2013
    Kjay ·
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    How did I miss these?! Brilliant, although as you can probably guess I am the muppet in our house!

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  • kharv
    Beginner March 2012
    kharv ·
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    I also came home one day to find every kitchen cupboard door and draw open, with wet clothes hanging on them. Apparently there wasn't enough drying space.

    It's almost ingenious.

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