You really do know what people are REALLY like when your planning a wedding

Oh yes, can totally relate.

We have had drama after drama. To be honest, I wish we had just eloped now but it's all paid for so I am just going to grin and bear it!!

We had a drama over the no children rule, the food, suits, rubbish/disinterested bridesmaids, general MIL intereference.....I will leave it there for now

Definitely !! ?

We got married on the 16th April (just over 2 weeks ago), the day couldn't have gone better - had a totally fab day, but there are some people who have completely surprised me over various things along the way.

Had major issues over my hen do before the wedding, which caused a few issues, but have put that to one side and forgotten about it now.

Families do tend to put pressure on over certain things or requests (or assumptions over what they expect to happen).

Then we had a few not turn up on the night (who had said they were coming) and only 1 family (who we knew beforehand had reason for maybe not attending at last minute) actually bothered to contact us the day after and apologise (plus arrange getting their card/gift to us). I have 7 people on my mum's side of the family who were up & down over attending, then didn't and haven't received an explanation or even so much as a card! One friend was coming with her partner, wasn't bringing her 3 kids - then on the night the 3 kids plus the oldest girls boyfriend came along too!! ? and as a gift she gave us a fiver !!!!! Can't believe the cheek of it, especially as they all tucked into the buffet . . . lol . I could go on, but to be honest, we thoroughly enjoyed ourselves and there were no major problems or issues, so we can't complain really ?

Yep you really do see peoples true colours when you are planning a wedding. There has been some negativity from people but we have put that down to their own bitterness, jealousy etc. I have had one 'friend' decline because they would rather go to a festival, thats fine, at least I know now where we stand with regards to our friendship and I have had another 'friend' decline due to personal issues and the fact that they will not know anyone there!!!

ho hum....

Yes definitely. We learnt who our friends were tremendously, and as sad as it initially was, I am now so happy that I found out sooner rather than later. their loss and all that jazz...I really don't care.

At the end of the day, our day is about US and our FAMILY and if people don't want to be happy for us then they can get stuffed to be honest ?

I think alot of things are brought about by jealously which is ridiculous. It's one thing to be envious but to actually be bitter because of jealously is a very bad trait to have IMO.

I completely agree with this. One of my oldest friends has pulled out of our wedding this week to go on holiday because "it's a once in a lifetime experience" and my wedding isn't?! In contrast some people I haven't known very long have been so excited and helpful it really makes you see who your friends are.

We've certainly had our eyes open to a people. Its very very sad. You learn that even though uve done right by people they won't necessarily do right by you. But were gonna have our big day & enjoy it & give these people a wide berth.

I've had several friends give silly (one has to look after their dog! another would have to get up too early to travel to our service!) and upsetting reasons as to why they can't come - as has OH. Others have a valid reason but went about telling us in the wrong way - like one friend who claims she booked a holiday before we set the date (which was over a year in advance) but neglected to tell me that until we sent the invites out and even then it took her three weeks to respond. This, despite numerous conversations with her over the last year discussing the wedding and the guest list and her offering to help out on the day! I think what upsets me the most is that the people who have said they can't come are people who I would do whatever I could to get to their wedding. It suddenly feels like a one sided friendship.

Now when I feel let down by a friend regarding our wedding I try to think about all the people who have helped and been lovely to us both. We have had help with the invite design and making them, the cake, the centrepieces, the loan of two veils! and a tiara, supportive Bridesmaid and Best Man, friends who have been really excited about being invited and have responded with a yes immediately, help with venue decorations, advice on lots of things and people just showing an interest in general and being excited with us about it all.

It's definately made me look at some friendships with new eyes.

Oh yes! I've come to realise that I don't really have any good friends at all. I tried to organise a hen night and no-one paid their deposits so it got cancelled. None of them ask me how the planning is coming on so I don't bother talking about it now. I'm not asking any of them to bridesmaids or maid of honours because quite simply, none of them are worthy of it!! But in saying all of that it has made me realise that I have the bestest friend I could ask for; my man!

Yes! more so my soon to be sister in law who is getting married a few months before us. im sure it'll start to us when it gets closer.

honestly anybody would think its YOUR wedding day or something...

I do wonder about our friends especially now getting closer to the day..

We have a really close friend a couple who aren't married, she yesterday proceeded to tell me we are feeding everyone to late and if she starts drinking at 1pm she will be wasted by the time the meal is served and it is a waste of money even tho there are canapes from 1pm and food is served at 4pm!.. This is the second time in as many weeks that she has made a stupid comment.. I almost told her not to bother coming to the day if that's how she feels! ?

Seriously people know there will be drinks at a wedding and yes you might have to wait 2 hours until you get food but why don't you pace yourself it's a long day!

Hmm... we got married on 16th April (I'm an OM yay!!)

We had one or two brides(maid)zilla moments from my sisters but overall I think I was really lucky with the support I got from my family/friends.

Biggest strops as I said came from my sisters, including them refusing to agree on one dress that they both wanted to wear (I gave up trying to get them to agree and left them to choose their own - both totally different but absolutely gorgeous!) and my older sister moaning about our table plan - we only had 30 people for our wedding breakfast so I chose to have one U shaped table. As I had more guests than my hubby I had to split my family up a bit and she was (along with her hubby and daughter) sitting with the best man's family and Hs brother and his 2 kids. She moaned all day on the Friday about not knowing anyone on that side of the table - she spends most meal times talking to her 5 year old and not really talking to the rest of the family anyway!! Anyway, I'd already played with the the table plan about 300 times already trying to suit everyone and then had to rearrange when my auntie had to cancel because she was too ill (she had pleuracy) so I refused to waste any more time on it and in the end my sister got on really well with everyone on that side (most of the 8 kids we invited were on that side of the table which always helps) she thanked me for not budging on it!!

We were slightly disappointed by our evening reception in that although we'd had acceptances from all of Hs workmates, only about 1/4 of them turned up - meaning our numbers went from 180 down to about 150. Didn't spoil the night but it annoyed us in retrospect. He's back to work today so he'll probably try to get some sort of explanation from them.

I'm not sure it's so much people showing their true colours more just being a bit thoughtless or not viewing weddings as such an important event as we do. Just because we would go to extreme lengths to go to someone's wedding doesn't necessary mean that because they don't reciprocate they don't value our friendship. Perhaps they have financial worries they don't like to talk about, are very busy with family/work or just don't see getting married as that big a deal.

Strange as it sounds, when I was planning our wedding, I'd never been to a 'proper' wedding before (as an adult) and as such didn't really understand much of the etiquette. I think that possibly some people felt a bit put out about how we went about things, but I would hate to think that they will forever see us as having 'shown our true colours' for making some social gaffes. I think it's the same for guests. Particularly if they are not married themselves they often just have no idea how much money and work goes into planning a wedding and how important it is for the couple to feel that people want to be there. It doesn't mean they are terrible friends or bad people.

This is the bit I am dreading.

I don't have lots of really close friends but have quite a few people I get on really well with. I do sometimes wish I had a close network of good female friends but I just never have.

So I do worry about those I get on well with (but aren't close) letting us down. Our is I suppose quite a small wedding in comparison to lots of you (around 70 guests) and I worry about people saying they will come and not turning up so that we have huge gaps on our tables! ☹️

I am not having any bridesmaids just my daughter and her cousin as flower girls and her other cousin as a page boy so I don't have that support that some of you will have.

Sometimes I feel a bit alone in this wedding planning (although I am really enjoying it!) and if I didn't have you guys to talk to then I would really be alone!

xxxx

I'm sorry to be so fluffy but *major huggles!!*

We had 30 for the day and about 150 at night (nowhere near filled our hall which has a 250 max capacity but I don't think anyone cared!!) Once people are up getting drinks/dancing nobody will notice any gaps there may be on the tables and you'll be too busy basking in the limelight of being a beautiful new bride you'll not have the time to worry about it if there are!

I've lost my oldest friend and then my cousin during my wedding planning.

*shrugs* You can either move on from it and enjoy your day or dwell on it and let it ruin it...

I think I have to count myself as very luck, as we've not really had any dramas whilst planning the wedding. If there have been any, its been almost completely unrelated to any guests (I say almost!) No interference from Mum or MiL, and friends have been very supportive, bridesmaids excited and interested (though I only have 2 and haven't really asked them to do anything!)

It is true that our RSVP deadline for both day and evening invites had passed, and we're still waiting on maybe a third of the replies! That's very minor though and there are still a couple of months to go till the big day - the chase starts soon!

I think I've still got it all to come - I'm dreading the 2 weeks before 'I can't make it now's!!

All the people who have pulled dirty actions on us are already married- to me & OH weve got the impression that as they have had their big day they dont give a flying f**k about anyone elses.

IE OH friend pulled out of stag do the monday b4 the friday they were going - he told a mutual friend it was because he said he could afford it as his wife was 3 months pregnant. But he had the flight paid & had to still pay hotel room. He told OH 2 days before it was because he couldnt get the friday off work - yet other friends of ours who work for the same company told us they were off for the royal wedding. So much bullsh*t & lies. And the fact it was all last minute made it worse. Another friend keep saying he was going to book his flights & never did. OH woke to a text message on fri saying 'have a good time, sorry i couldnt afford it'. Another lie - hes been out every wkend, fri & sat, booked 2 summer holidays. This is a fella who OH has been very friendly with for the last 10 years. Its very very hurtful.

My Cousin, who I was on her weddng 4 years ago, has been the most selfish unhelpful person ever. She is also my CBM (as I was for her). I organised her evening entertainment, 3 hen do's & took the week off before her wedding to be her skivy. She has done abolutely nothing for me & another BM is doing everything. Its disgusting & totally inconsiderate & quite frankly lazy.

The fella who pulled out of OH stag do was married 4 years ago. OH went on his 2 stag do's, I went on his wives hen do & we stayed overnight at their hotel. We worked out last nite we spent £900 on their wedding. His wife isnt going on mine because she wont be able to fly & that I understand. But she also needs to pay up for the hotel & hasnt offered & I feel awkward asking. She has also told me they cant afford to stay at the hotel because its her OH 30th bday 2 wks after our wedding & shes another wedding the week after ours which was organised within last few months. Ours has been booked for 2.5 yrs & i sent hotel details around before christmas. She just made me feel really crappy & unimportant to her - which is the opposite of how we treated them. So after the wedding I cant see us arranging any get togethers.