"Young" bride rant!

Im 23 and we will both be 24 when we get married. We have been together since we were 15 so it doesnt bother me what people say, we know its right for us. We do both look young for our age though so people probably think we are a bit too young when they dont know our age.

I'm 21 and OH is 22 but we have been together 5 and half years so for us it's right...we have had a few comments about being young but mainly from people who don't know us so we don't care, all our friends and family are happy and nobody that knows us thinks we're too young so I suppose you just have to rise above it...it is annoying though x

I'm 21 and I'm getting married in August, my mum was 18 when she got married, Granny 19 and my Aunt was the same as as me.... So I come from a long line of 'young' brides. 25 is not too young, neither is 20... neither is 18 - it depends on the individual really.

Im 24 and will be 26 when i get married, i dont feel too young, ive been partying since i was 16 and travel the world with my job. i get comments from the people i work with all the time saying im too young, i take no notice because they all sleep around down route to "bag a pilot" and the others just spent half there time on grinder! the people that really know us can see how well we get on and love each other! with a two year engagement were not rushing into it!

I think people have a tendency to judge people by their own standards, and everything different to their own experiences are considered to be not normal. So if someone has got married at 30, they might think anyone much younger is missing out on the fab life they had whilst being in their 20s and not married. But they probably don't stop and consider what a fab life they might have been missing out on by not being married earlier in life, kiddies etc. And I think this can go the other way round too - younger brides might consider older brides to have missed out by not getting hitched sooner, but I think these thoughts aren't expressed as much cos it's definitely rude to tell people they're too old, but not considered so rude to tell people they're too young

There's no right way to live life - some people will get married at 20 and love it whereas some won't, some will get married after 30 and love it, whilst others might wish they'd been married earlier. I just wish people could be more open-minded - just because one way is right for you, doesn't mean it's right for everyone. And regardless of how sure you are of your own opinion, if people don't ask for it then they shouldn't have to hear it! If people tell me I'm too young or too old (I'll be 25, H2B will be 29) they can take a running jump - I'm not telling them when things are appropriate in their lives, so don't tell me!

So basically you've just got to ignore them. If you know what you're doing is the right thing, this should be all that matters - who cares what anyone else thinks?! ?

I will be 27 people think I am young, dont listen if they havent got anything nice to say ? x

I had looooads of you're too young comments although they were mostly from the old men at the pub haha. I look a lot younger than 25 too so that adds to it. My parents got married at the same age so I've never seen it as "young". We had more of the "it's too fast" and "are you up duffed" comments as we've only been together 18 months but noone we know well has had anything negative to say (unless they're hiding it) and so it's pretty easy to ignore everyone else.

I definitely wouldn't say it's jealousy though. Probably more surprise/not thinking before speaking. And all brides look beautiful no matter their age surely? I would happily wait til I was 50 to marry this man, happiness not youth makes you beautiful.

"I'm 21 but we have been together for 8 years."

No offense intended, but this really annoys me. It doesn't matter how old you are or how long you've been together. I don't see why people feel the need to justify the age by saying how long they've been together.

If a marriage isn't gonna work, it isn't gonna work. It doesn't make a difference how old you are or how long you've been together. It purely depends on whether the man and woman want to make their marriage work or not.

Rant over! ha.

I was 23 when we got engaged and will be 25 when we marry, although I have not had any comments about being too young as people understand that I have never been this happy

I was 29 when I got married and we had been together 5 years. This was right for us.

There is no right age to get married but there is a huge difference between age and maturity.

You took the words right out of my mouth.

I've been with my H since we were 16 and got married when we were 28. That felt right to us and I knew I didnt want to get married when we were 21.

Im old compared to you lot! I'll be 31 - although I "got ahead of myself" and had my children "out of wedlock"

Me too. Join me in hell.?

Hi,

I’m 19 and will be 21 and my H2B is 21 and will be 23 when we get married, I have had the full works of opinions from people regarding my age and what they think but like my H2B said we are meant to be together so why wait. We already have a flat together and want to do things the more traditional way with being married before we try for a family and things. Our family are supportive and that’s all that matters to us but there are people who still don’t take us seriously. All I can advice is if you know you are ready and meant to be together then go for it and don’t listen to what other people think .

x x x x x x

Well I think people say this as at 21 a lot of people are still having short relationships I know that if I had been with my OH less than 6 months say, I wouldn't feel ready to marry him yet (personally) but as we have been together over 5 years I feel that I know everything about him and know that we're past the 'honeymoon phase' and at the end of that we are still in love...so I think most people will use the 'but we've been together this long' to say that it's not a 'silly fling' but yeh I suppose young brides do feel the need to 'justify' themselves more. X

If you're old them I am positively ancient!! I am 52 and my OH is 57. Both been married before though so it probably doesn't count.

I agree, I think people say it to "justify" themselves (although they shouldn't have to). Rightly or wrongly people will perceive a couple in their 40s who have been together a year very differently to a 20yo couple who have been together exactly the same length of time. Younger couples are also less likely to have lived together for much time, I was 17 when I met my H and we didn't move in together until 21/22. Had we met later in life we would in all likelihood have lived together much sooner and people do think differently of couples who live together - saying "we've been together 5 years" negates that a little bit.

Totally agrre with this. Its not wrong if someone does get married after a few months but when you're younger people do sometimes assume that you cant have been together that long so may think your rushing into it. Even though its nobody elses business. Also I have had the "you need to have had more than 1 boyfriend" etc comments from people that im guessing most older brides wouldnt.

What do you, young ones class as an "older bride"?

When I put "older bride" in my previous post I just meant older than say early twenties. I dont mean that they are old brides at all. OP, at the end of the day its nobodys business anyway and only you and you're OH know when its right to get married and age shouldnt matter.

Ooooh I think this is going to be a good thread ?

I was (am) 35 and he's 38, both first marriages. We're ANCIENT!! And yet, the week before the wedding I was hyperventilating that maybe I'm just too young to settle down (I don't think that now, I just feel old)

Very true! how times have changed

Contentious question... I would say late 40's? I don't really like the younger bride, older bride categories though. Bride is a bride is a bride

I agree but the words "older bride" have been thrown around a lot in this thread.

17 maybe?

I think in this context people mean 'older' than them e.g if I'm 21, an 'older' bride is anyone over 21...if they said 'old bride' then that would be a different matter haha! X

Someone with more creases in their face than in their dress ?

And needs to wear their veil over their face to hide their beard ?

*

?

* begins looking for an excessively ruched style dress *

Exactly... when people say "young" bride they probably have an age in their mind, but if they said "younger" they'd mean younger than them. So in the same vein I'd use "older bride" for anyone older than me. I probably wouldn't say "old bride" as it doesn't sound very nice ? and I don't really have an age in mind for when someone would be an "old" bride either.

EXACTLY this! I work with a lot of people who are like that and they all say (behind my back, mostly) that I'm too young to get married - and I'm 26!!

The average marriage age is really interesting, isn't it? It's known that where the average education level is high and there are lots of opportunities (like big cities), women tend to focus on their careers for longer before settling down. So, in London I'm young to get married! Everywhere else, I'm sure no one would bat an eyelid.

Are younger brides less educated then?