"Young" bride rant!

Totally off topic, but Laynarose could you PM me re: chair covers - I've tried to message you with an enquiry but as we're not hitched 'friends' I can't!

Well said some people think that getting married means you will never go out again and you should be out getting hammered constantly. I know what i'd rather be ding!!

S x

Statistical studies have shown that the more highly educated you are, or leaving it later in life to marry results in a much lower divorce rate than being young and/or uneducated.

Maybe Tricks was onto something?!

I'm not old Ducky. I am highly educated though...

hi hun email me at ******************.****@*****.*** it will be easier

No not at all! Lol I was speaking about the perception that people who get married young must be thick/naive/not have their head screwed on etc.. I've had all sorts of comments, I doubt people make comments because they think someone is immature, its usually from their own ideas and assumptions rather than the engaged person's personality x

I know you're not old Tricks (although did think you were 50 for a while until I realised you were joking in that post too). But in reference to the 'young and thick' comment, I was backing up with statistical reference ;-)

Sorry, I should have made it clear that I was referring to Ducky's comment that "not one person has made a comment about our age since we got engaged. But maybe as was mentioned earlier there is a 'difference between age and maturity.'" As in, if you're mature enough you won't receive comments like that. But as I said, I genuinely hope that's not what she meant. Especially since it seems from the majority of posters (including myself) that the "too young" comments are made by people who don't know us or anything about our relationships/maturity levels at all.

Peanut- I don't know why people make those comments! It's what they perceive and if they perceive an immature/young couple maybe that's what provokes their response.

I'm only 23 so I'd class myself as a young'un. But even at 23, I look back on my 18 year old self and I could really give her advice! I can only assume we haven't received any comments as we are very mature, work hard in professional jobs, own a house, own a cat(!), we seemed to have ticked all the conventional boxes.

Now I'm not suggesting being conventional is right or wrong, but if we were straight out of school, no savings, still living at home, no proper job, we might not have been taken so seriously, including by our family.

Again, not to suggest any of the above are 'wrong', but maybe considered unprepared for marriage (again thi is just my opinion, can never be too careful on WP!).

I thought you were older than this! I also thought Nutella was older than she is.

To be honest, knowing that you are a highly qualified professional (as well as the things you say) did contribute to my perception that you were my age...or maybe, in the absence of 'knowing', I assume that just because I like you, you are like me and I just assume you are of a similar age...does that make sense?

I agree with you, if I had a friend or relative who was "straight out of school, no savings, still living at home, no proper job" etc I would be a bit concerned about them getting married. In fact we put off getting married for that reason; I was still at uni and we were both living with my mum until I finished my Masters and got a job. There was no way I was getting married with us still living with my mum and me not being able to support myself.

For the record, I genuinely didn't think my interpretation of what you said was actually what you meant and just wanted to clarify what you meant ?

I'm almost 24!

But I know what you mean Gurzle. I also thought DWC (who is no longer DWC!) was older and Nutts, and Old Bear! I think it has something to do with taking about, jobs, mortgages and babies that just makes you (wrongly) think they must be older to be talking about such mundane things! Ok not suggesting babies are mundane, but you get my drift.

One of the reasons we were keen to marry this rather than wait another year, or two, is because I will be looking for a permanent job in the next 18 months. In our field (biomedicine) its considered quite normal to up sticks to another city/country if offered a job. However, if my husband is based locally, it seems much more reasonable to want to stay in this city rather than 'wanting to be near my boyfriend.'

I also love him lots which helps too!

I am married and am often found out on the town pi$$ed!! Either with the girls, the husband or both!! ?

? Well, this too! If I still enjoyed going out and getting pissed then getting married certainly wouldn't have stopped me!

I think i'm getting a complex about this, loads of people over on BT thought I was in my 30's! ?

Speaking of people who do degrees and wedding plan, a Uni friend of mine got married the day AFTER her final 3rd year exam. The exam finished at 4pm, she did a three hour drive straight home and then got married at 12pm the next day! Needless to say she was stressed beyond belief. She told me slept through 75% of their honeymoon.

I think people assume I'm a bit stoopid and naive when they find out a) how old I am b) what I do for a living and c) am getting married. Actually I am highly educated and the work I do is by choice. I have worked in far more 'impressive' jobs before the one I'm doing now and yet people still think that young and engaged= dim.

Another nut job planning a wedding while doing a PhD here ?

I'm 26 and OH is 29. We were originally going to wait til after my PhD but I know a lot of people whose PhDs ran over the 3 years and I did not want to end up having my viva the week before or after my wedding. I also have no idea where in the world I'll be working in 18 months time so it made sense for us to just get married now. I don't really see it as a big deal though, I treat my PhD as a 9 to 5 job so time wise it's not that different from anyone with a "regular job".

Exactly. Apart from when it's an 8-midnight job, including Saturday, Sunday and bank holidays job. Haha.

However, sometimes I just escape for a while and go shopping. Not many jobs can do that!

I like to think of it as flexi-time!

Does that mean you think i am old then as I am over 50??? I suppose compared to all you young brides I am but believe me I don't feel 50 nor do I think I either look or act 50. I like to think I'm still young at heart lol xx

ooh and now I'm intrigued... ?

Am really enjoying this thread at the moment. Lots of interesting points made. In my family atm there are two weddings being planned; my brothers (he's just 21, fiancé is 20, they live with her mum and he has literally just got himself a part-time job) and mine (I'm 25, my OH is 25 and both of us are in full time employment and have been for 3 years, straight from finishing uni). My brother and his OH have been together just over a year and me and my OH have been together 6 years. Two totally different situations entirely, two completely different sets of people and four totally different personalities... With one thing in common... Love! (ha! I'm such a soppy cow!) But it's so true, who cares how old or young you are!

And as for the question posed by Trickers, I agree with what most have said, 'younger' brides would be younger in relation to me and people I know who have got married recently and 'older' brides would be older than me and any other brides I know at the moment.

I'm also intrigued now about what it is you do DWC ?

I got a few comments (i was 22 when i got married) and look young. but when people realise we have been together for 7 years they sort of went '''ooo its about time then'

Blimey that took 20 minutes to read!

But I'm not sure if my OH should put me back on the shelf that he found me ☹️ 40, our daughter out of wedlock, I've never been married or engaged until I proposed to him last year, left school at 16. What does that make me! ? or does this make me an older stupid bride? ?

Well according to this post we are all stupid to get married lol.

Just to add a different spin on things, I have a friend at work who would have been only the year below me at school, and she always thinks I'm a fair bit older than her because I'm getting married and that seems like a 'grown-up' thing to do!

She herself has been with her partner for a good few years and they have a mortgage and animals together and she wants to get married to him but just not yet as she thinks she looks quite young still and in her words 'doesn't want to look like a little girl playing dress up in her wedding photos'

So there are people out there who although in love and settled down feel they are just too 'young' to get married!

Sometimes I see her perspective because it does seem 'scary' (wrong word!) that I will be married in 3 months and have a HUSBAND!! Eeek! Can't wait though ?

This is exactly how I feel. I had been with my H for 12 years before we got married at the grand old age of 28.

My friend is exactly the same, she is the same age as me and has been with her boyfriend longer than I have mine but she is just not ready and wants to wait but she says its strange because she doesnt think im too young at all.

We like you are mature and have good jobs, have had a mortgage since we were 20 and own a cat too ? yet on the odd occasion a small amount of people have said to us we are too young. But like I said before we look younger than we are so maybe thats it... as these people dont actually really know us so I assume they go on how old we look not how mature we are etc.