Young brides

What should age matter! If the pair of you feel ready, then that's all that counts. 22 isn't necessarily too young to settle anyways and you haven't rushed into anything. Take pride in knowing that you're a sensible girl who isn't sleeping around and rather setting up your life and doing it with someone who wants to share it with you x

Thanks for your reply, I think people just don't understand until they've found 'the one'

I hate how it's more acceptable to have babies young these days but not marriage!

We are very excited

Xx

We were both 23 when we got married and didn't have any negative comments before the wedding. Some people even asked us why we'd waited so long as we've been together 5 years ?.

However last weekend we met a friend of a friend who told us literally 2 minutes after meeting us that we were too young to be married and implied we should be sleeping around instead.

I'd take all the comments with a pinch of salt.

Ignore everyone.

I am 26 now, will be 27 when we get married. I met my fiance when I was 16 and he was 17, we are more in love now than ever before. Just because you're young doesn't mean you don't know what (or who) you want.

22 really doesn't seem young to me, you're perfectly able to know you've found the one! I think the trend is just getting towards marrying older and it's skewed people's thinking. My doctor defined me as a 'young mum' at the age of 23 and said I should take a chlamydia test! Hopefully when it gets closer to the wedding when you're a bit further away from the teenage years and you've lived together even longer they'll forget they ever doubted you.

Anyway, £5,000 certainly seems possible. My budget is a little under £4,000 and I haven't found I've had to go without anything important. There are plenty of tips to be found on here at keeping costs down if you need them. I'd start by having a look at the expensive things like venue and finding out how much the ones you like are so you can check the budget will work for you. Also, if you find something you're dead set on and put a deposit down now you'll be able to have it for today's prices instead of 2015 prices which might help. Good luck!

Yes, just ignore.

I'm 24, get married next year and me and OH got together when we were 17. Haven't encountered any negativity regarding our ages, but we have only been engaged since may.

Best of luck with you're planning, do you have many ideas yet? X

Go back a few years and 22 was old! I'm not a young bride and the fact that my hubby to be could be long gone by the time we reach our 20th anniversary sometimes upsests me, so good for you for wanting to seal your love now and look forward to a long and happy future together!

X

Just noticed your wedding date. Does that mean you're 19 now and own a house already? I'm jealous! Do the people making negative comments realise the wedding is 2 and a half years away or do they think you're rushing into it? I must admit I'd probably think that 19 is a bit too young if I thought you were getting married now.

We are 20 now! Have been together 5 years in January!

Yes people realise we will be 22, soon to be 23 when married! X

I owned a house at 19 as well, I think it's a pretty obvious sign of maturity! And the fact you're waiting so long before the date shows it's not a spontaneous 'young love' gesture x

Ah I see. My reading and maths skills failed me there. Probably shouldn't have posted whilst tired ?

Mine too, I went in to have my implant taken out and when she asked why, I said it was so my husband and I could start trying for a baby. Her response was to offer a chlamydia test "since you're under 24" and when I said I didn't need one thanks, she said "but it's free, you really should" and started quizzing me on the last time I took an STI test, what it covered etc ? Who starts trying for a baby with a man they think might give them an STI?!

Getting married on a £5k budget is certainly do-able... I did it!

I'm 23 now and when I marry, I haven't had negative comments exactly, but people who are just generally negative about marriage always wade in with their unwanted opinion. The fact that you have a house already shows you have your head screwed on and you obviously know what you want. Just ignore them, they are probably just insecure themselves.

And agree about the baby thing, if I was having a baby now, I doubt anyone would bat an eyelid, but when they find out I'm getting married, I'm crazy. Having a baby is a much bigger commitment IMO.

You think your yong, my step daughters 16 and has just started planning her wedding for next year!

Presumably she has parental permission then? Or will she be 18 by the time she gets married?

No she will be 16 at the time, her mums not bothered, me and her dad have tried to say to her just wait but shes not having any of it and has tried on dresses and looked at the venue shes having.

It's part of their contract to offer it to all sexually active under 25s, AFAIK. Given that chlamydia is often asymptomatic, especially in men, why would you not want to get tested? Being married to someone doesn't stop them from having an STI. I don't think she was trying to imply anything about either of you, but it's a common condition with significant complications, so knowing about it can only be a good thing!

Do you only need permission from one parent then?

I understand why they have to ask but I don't think it's necessary for everyone to get tested. What if you've only slept with each other? Or one of you has had other partners but has been tested? Or you've both been tested already since being together?

Ignore people! I got engaged the beginning of the month on my 21st birthday and we are planning to get married in 2015 so we shall be 23/24.
We got together at the age of 14!
People have no right to get involved in what you feel is right, you sound pretty mature to me! And doing things in the right order!
Congratulations by the way ?

Well i googled it and as far as what i gathered you need permission from whoever has parental responsability and thats her mum, might have to do a bit more digging. she will be getting married before me and her dad will at this rate lol

Well, obviously you don't need to get tested if you've already been tested! As for the other situations, it may not be strictly necessary but it's not a bad thing to do - people do lie about their past, after all. And it's not like anything bad can happen as a result of having the test itself.

Offering an STI test does not mean they automatically think you're a slag or something, so I don't quite get why people get offended by it.

No, I understood that, I didn't get annoyed with her in the practice. I get that it's standard practice. It's just annoying that had I been older, it wouldn't have been an issue for me to say no.

I had the full testing etc when H and I decided this was a serious thing and so I felt I didn't need to be retested at this point. I just wish she'd accepted that instead of going on about it.

I think I just have a bad feeling towards the doctor who offered it to me and that's made me stubborn about it. I nearly complained about how she treated me, probably should have done.

If she was rude or something, then that's understandable that you'd be annoyed. The mere act of offering (and explaining why they're offering) though, is not a judgemental thing. When I worked in GP, every time I saw someone under 25 I got a computer message flashing up saying "offer chlamydia screen" which I had to do unless there was a decent reason not to. That's probably why they asked lots of questions.

The offence comes from the fact that if I was a couple of years older they'd assume I didn't have an STI and wouldn't offer it. Like someone said, I have never been with someone who has had a previous partner so I know I don't have one.

Noone has said I'm too young to get married but people did say I was young to have a baby and assumed it was a mistake so I think they just react to whichever comes first.

Yeah, that would be annoying, if you've already had the test and there's no reason to suspect you'd need another one. Promoting STI testing is one of my little hobby horses though, so I like to try and clear up misconceptions!

This is how statistics works. It is a fact that the 16-24 age group has a much higher rate of STIs than older people. They are not making assumptions about you personally, but your age puts you in a higher risk group. Presumably in the next few years, unless we sort out this, and people's prejudices about getting tested, the "at risk" age range will increase.

As for "knowing" you don't have an STI, unfortunately doctors are used to quite a lot of people saying this and then being proved wrong, which is why they're keen to get people tested as much as possible rather than just relying on assumptions. As I already said, there's no harm in having the test, so why not get some extra peace of mind?

You only need permission from one person with parental responsibility. Her mum will definitely have the necessary PR (unless she's grown up in care/been adopted). Her dad will only have it if he was married to her mum either when she was born or aftwerwards or has adopted her.

They were married at one point, does that mean she has to have his permission? over the last 5 years they have she has lived with her mum then with us, shes currently living with her partner. in not sure he would stop her anyway as wouldnt want to upset her and its not like we dont like her partner, we think hes quite good for her but would have liked her to wait till she was at least 18

Hi vintagebride 92

My advice would be to ignore them!! They're clearly just jealous or don't understand because they've not felt the way that you two feel.

You should be proud that you are so mature - well done you for owning a house by this age and feeling that you can make this commitment!

We have had some friends questioning us saying that we should be 'living our lives' (what do they think we are doing?!), going travelling, etc. I wouldn't take it personally, I just think some people don't understand because it's not something that they themselves feel ready for, especially if you are the first of your friends to be taking this step.

Enjoy planning your wedding and welcome to Hitched!!