Are any brides TTC before the wedding?

There's been quite a bit of debate here about the good and bad aspects of being pregnant on your wedding day! I personally am almost 40 (and in fact can't have children, although very few people I know IRL are aware of that), but that hasn't stopped people asking us if we are planning to have any. Thankfully I wasn't there when my H2B's mum asked him, so he got to handle that conversation on his own!

Hi, InkedDoll.

Thanks for your reply! I'm sorry to hear you can't have any children. It must be quite difficult for you. Luckily you didn't have to have that conversation with your future MIL. Have you considered adopting?

We get married in December. I'm already 34, so we haven't got a lot of time to play with. We decided I would stop taking my pill when I ran out and we'd see what happened, then if I wasn't already pregnant by the wedding we would start properly trying afterwards. My last pill was Friday just gone, so I guess we're officially not using contraception now. Even if I was lucky enough to catch straight away, I wouldn't be showing at the wedding. Ideally though, for purely materialistic reasons, January would be the ideal month for me to get pregnant as it would maximise the paid time off I would have for maternity leave.

It is difficult in terms of the fact that people expect women (especially married ones) to have children, and difficult when they ask, but I've come to terms with the fact that I wasn't meant to have them. After I became infertile I applied to donate my eggs to be able to help other people who wanted them, but I was born with hip dysplasia so it turned out they didn't want them as the condition can be passed on genetically. That was kind of a bummer I have always thought that if the time felt right I would look into fostering or adopting, but I was single for 7 years before meeting my H2B two years ago, so it never really has. Still, I haven't ruled it out for the future.

H2B and I have been having this conversation recently I would love to wait and enjoy marriage for maybe a year or so before thinking about kids, we keep talking about going off to various places and doing things we still haven't done. However, Ill be 32 when we get married and I suffer from Endometriosis, which can cause fertility problems, the consultant told me to not leave it later than 32/33 to start trying so it pretty much makes our decision for us! We are having an 8 week honeymoon, and decided once we'd come back form that it's probably when i'll chuck my pill out.

I'm in my early 30s and getting married in 2017. We were going to put off TTC until after the wedding, but I've recently been diagnosed with "significant" endometriosis. I've had surgery to remove it, but the doctors advised me to start TTC as soon as possible after the surgery. If I haven't conceived within a year, they've warned me that it's probable that I will need fertility treatment or (worst case) have to adopt. We've got a while until the wedding, but I know it could take months or even years for me to get pregnant and there's a chance I'll be pregnant or have a newborn at our wedding. My FMIL is also Chinese, but she's constantly bemoaning the lack of grandchildren, so I think she'll forgive us.

We are getting married in April but will start TTC in January. I am 37 this year and had 2 miscarriages so time is very much against us. If I am Pregnant by the wedding I shouldnt be 'showing' so wouldnt affect my dress (although wont be getting that till January anyway). Also because I am coming up to 40 if I need fertility treatment we need to find out sooner rather than later.

Me! I'm nearly 34 and H is 46. We got married 5 September. I came off the pill in March after 17 years on it without a break as I figured it would take my body a while to sort itself. We agreed to have one try the month before the wedding, as we expected it to take a while due to our ages/being on the pill so long. I was 6 weeks pregnant on our wedding day! We were shocked it happened so fast. I'm now nearly 12 weeks. As for being a pregnant bride, I did feel very sick on the day but that was partly nerves. I don't drink so that wasn't an issue. And we got to announce the baby at the wedding which was awesome. If you are prepared to not drink and potentially not feel great then being a pregnant bride is quite special!

A colleague of mine wasn't able to have children either and she's in her late forties. She's recently adopted a little boy and I've never seen her this happy so you never know! Good luck x

I'm sorry to hear about your condition. Would you consider TTC before the wedding as it's 3 years away! I'm pretty sure your Chinese MIL would understand and bend the rules as your case is different?

Your timing could just work out! Xmas is just round the corner and it'll fly by! Very exciting times for you! Good luck x

Congratulations! That's such lovely news! You've timed it really well . I don't really drink so that wouldn't be an issue. I am very tempted to try before the wedding. I bet it was amazing to announce it on the wedding day... good luck! X

It was amazing, H announced it in his speech during the wedding breakfast. We only wants close family and friends (I.e those at the breakfast) to know until after the scan but our big mouth usher managed to tell all the evening guests! Ah well. I think people might have guessed by now anyway!

Us! We will start trying again after Christmas! I'm 31, OH is 36 and we're ready. We did start a good many months ago but without success, and then discussed and decided to wait as i didn't want to be 8-9 months pregnant whilst walking down the aisle, and we both decided for us it was something we were happy to wait for (I know there's been a lot of debate around this on another post but each to their own n this is best for us). My OH has a spinal cord injury so we need a bit of medical device assistance so only get one try a month, so we're also going to look into fertility treatment after Christmas too...

Another one with endo here ! I was also advised to start trying ASAP after surgery to remove it last year, which we did and I shockingly got pregnant almost straight away. Sadly I had a miscarriage and then we made the decision to wait until after the wedding. If circumstances were slightly different we might have carried on trying before the wedding, but it just wasn't right for us at the moment.

Wr have been trying for around 10 months. We get married in April. We took a break last month and this month and in November I am due to have an operation to look for and potentially remove endometriosis. We will then start again in December, meaning if all went well I could be 1 to 4 months preganat. I agpnised over this decision and kept putting off planning the wedding, thinking 'it'll happen next month'... it bever did so we decided to go for it. I'm enjoying wedding planning now and if I end up a pregnant bride it will be a blessing, even if it's not my ideal situation (I like a few glasses of bubby! )

Good luck to you OP and to any others trying and planning. I will also be 30 when we marry in april. I feel a little sad that we won't have the carefree few months as newlyweds but there is a lot to be thankful for!

We're hopefully getting married next September (still very early stages of planning) but are going to wait until afterwards. I'll be 31 next year and work in fertility so I know the score and don't want to wait too long! Good luck to everyone who is TTC, I can't wait to be at that stage!

We thought about trying before but then we don't have anywhere permanant to live at the moment, we'll hopefully have somewhere by the end of the month. We're trying now, I'm 32 & my husband (I love saying that!?) is 46 so can't really afford to wait much longer either. I came off the pill a week before the wedding (2 weeks ago), it would be so good if we caught straight away but I'm doubtful. CRL I'm so happy for you, congratulations!!!! That must have been a teary moment when your husband (?) announced it in the speeches!!! Best wishes for everyone else trying x

We stated trying three months before the wedding (so I wouldn't show in my dress) and I fell pregnant straight away. I am very aware of how lucky I was to fall straight away. I suffered quite badly with sickness and was constantly tired but we had done most wedding stuff before I got pregnant so it wasn't that big a deal. I was 13 weeks on my wedding day and, despite having sickness, I still managed to chunk out (mainly boobs growing and waist thickening) but luckily my dress had a corset back. I'm not a big drinker anyway so not drinking on the day wasn't an issue at all, I still danced all night and had the best day ever. We didn't announce my pregnancy at the wedding as we wanted it to be about us for one last time (selfish maybe but I'm glad no one knew)

If you're prepared to possibly feel rough leading upto the wedding and on the wedding day, and also accept that your body shape may very well change despite your best intentions, then go for it, and good luck

We decided to wait for a year or so after the wedding. We had just bought our first house so wanted to spend some time on that before TTC'ing. We also had quite a stressful time immediately before the wedding so heading straight into a pregnancy would have been my idea of a nightmare!

For those of you who are either TTC'ing now or planning to, Hitched has a sister site - the Mumdrum - for all things baby and TTC related. I'm currently posting on the TTC board and (if I do say so myself) we're a great bunch of ladies who can offer lots of support and help so feel free to pop on over! http://mumdrum.com/

We are. I have poly cystic ovraries and was originally told at 16 I would not be able to concive at all. Then I was told I will need ivf. I then underwent loads of invasive test and was told I should be able to concieve with the help of drugs or with great difficulty naturally . I am unfortunately over weight so am unable to have the drugs and also makes it harder naturally. So h2b and I decided to start trying pretty much straight away when we got together cause of the situation and we just knew each other was the one and it felt right. But nearly three years of trying we still have had no luck.

i thought it would probably be best not to continue to conceive until after the wedding, but oh made a valid point that we may miss our chance if we do not coninue to conceive. Although I feel it will be a ton of stress if we was to fall pregnant it would just be the most amazing gift ever and would be worth it.

We were considering trying for a baby after my doctor told me I would probably never be able to come off my medications, and may need stronger ones as I get older
But we're hoping to buy our first house after we get married (thanks to unforeseen circumstances) and we really wanted a year or so to enjoy being just us two (and get the house the way we want!)
My family have also decided to have a big family holiday in Florida in Sep 2017 for my mum's 50th ... so we've now decided that we will try on/after the holiday.

Problem is I'll be 29 in 2017 and most of my family are dismayed, saying that we're leaving it far too late.
I don't think 30 is too old to have your first baby =/

x

I know it's easier said than done, but try to ignore them. It's your life!! And personally I don't think 30 is too old at all. I'm going to be at least 31 and that's only if I get pregnant straight away *hug* x

Not too old at all. I am 34 in a couple of weeks, will be 34.5 when baby comes, OH is 46, will be 46.5 when baby comes. This is first baby for both of us, it has taken us both this long to find someone we want to have a baby with!

Not too old at all. Over 34 is classed in the medical profession as an elderly primigravida (ie old enough that there may be additional considerations not seen in younger women), but socially speaking, it's perfectly common to have your kids in your 30s these days. The people concerned are probably older and remembering the days when women had their kids at age 20-25 (my mum was 22 when she had me, and my parents had already been married for 3 years).

I did not know this!! Congratulations beautiful news!

Thanks for all your nice words ladies, I don't think 30 is too old but thought I was the only one who felt like this

Good luck to all of you who are ttc or are indeed pregnant, I hope everything goes smoothly

x

OH and I have talked loads about this, we are both 31 and get married in December. He says he really wants kids, I'm not particularly fussed but think I'd like them and have agreed we will have a family. We had originally said we would TTC in September (just gone) but then he got a place at uni so decided to put it off until January, so he would have finished if I caught straight away. Now he's saying we should put it off until March. We plan on going on honeymoon in April and I don't want to be pregnant on honeymoon because of the activities we are likely to be doing (scuba diving, paragliding etc) so he has suggested we leave off until September. I'm just worried because at that point I'll be 32 and he wants 2 kids, I don't really want to having babies later than 35 (personal choice, not a judgement) because of the increased likelihood of complications. I'm just wondering if we ever will. Someone once said to me that not having children is not a decision you make, you just keep putting off having them. And I think that may happen to us. I just don't want my OH to wake up one day and blame me for us being a childless couple (seeing as he is the one who has always been adamant he wants them) but he doesn't seem to understand the 'logistics' of having them.

Hmm, definitely not true in all cases. It's very presumptuous to assume that all people without children "just kept putting it off". (And yes, I know you didn't say this yourself, it was presumptuous of whoever said it to you!)

Yes, certainly not true of everyone, especially those who have found they cannot conceive.

My OH and I have been thinking a lot about this recently! We were both 27 this year and plan to get married spring 2016, by which point we will be 29. I am quite a traditionalist at heart and have always wanted to be married before getting pregnant (in an ideal world!) and for selfish reasons I don't want to be pregnant on my wedding day. I have always wanted kids, but I wanted to live my life a little bit first, which to a certain extent I feel I have done. My OH and I have been together 7 years, 9 by the time we get married, so I feel I have had him to myself for long enough

I think I will probably stop taking my pill just after the wedding! Fingers crossed that everything then goes okay from then on. I will then probably have my kids quite close together, there is only 3 years between me and my brother which I like!

Yeah, we started TTC a few weeks ago. Nothing yet, but keeping our fingers crossed.