Are drinks and canapés packages needed?

We weren’t going to have canapés, but decided to at our menu tasting. We didn’t feel pressured by the caterer, but I suspect this wouldn’t be the case with other caterers or venues! I think we got lucky in that sense.

I've been to weddings with just drinks, just canapés and neither. I don't think people mind buying their own drinks, but depending on timings it might be worth doing canapés. I went to one where the photographs took a while and we were all standing around for ages without anything to eat or drink and I was starving by the time everyone had gone in, found their seat, and the food brought out.

Please don’t be offended - this is my opinion after 8 years attending weddings as an adult. I’m a professional, Londoner and of Nigerian descent so all of these play a part in my views and expectation levels.


Please definitely serve drinks and canepes.Like the person above I’ve been to weddings with 2/3.
- my favourites have been with canepes, drinks and a open bar (even if it’s just wine and beer post dinner) . This is also the wedding we are having. Because drinks flowed all day you find yourself saying no to the top ups and ultimately just stay a level of tipsy also because you know the couple are paying there’s none of the “ it’s cheaper to buy a bottle/double etc” so you are less drunk at the end. These are ones where I recognise the couple really want people to celebrate with them rather than inviting people purely for more presents. This type doesn’t have to be expensive (booze run to France, serve pre- made cocktails etc then if people don’t like what you have they can buy their own)
- been to one with one reception drink, no canepes and a paid bar. We all remember it for the wrong reasons- especially because we travelled to a different city plus accommodation etc. Judgy I know but we’ve all been friends since we were teenagers so have attended each other’s weddings so comparing is always natural. At this wedding everyone got very drunk because a bottle/double is cheaper etc so most people bought wine by the bottle. I did feel a tad sorry for the bride as the groom was one of these people.
- been to one that was supposed to be one reception drink, no canepes and a paid bar. Once again we traveled to a different city but we’d learned from the above and lied saying we were getting drinks for other people and took 4/5 glasses each. The couple over ran and we would have been in a indoor holding pen (not the wedding breakfast room) in summer until they arrived nearly 2 hrs later. Everyone else complained because the bar was in the wedding breakfast room so there was nothing to do but wait. Granted it was a beautiful venue but everything becomes ugly if you are thirsty and bored (IMHO). By the time the couple arrived we were seated had a bottle per table with dinner (less than the recommended) but on large tables it didn’t go far. People were getting up in the speeches to buy drinks - bride was unimpressed but the venue allowed it.
-Never been to one with no reception drinks, no canepes and a paid bar. I would be annoyed (others might disagree with me) because I’m in my 30s- if we were 21 and it was the only wedding I’d been to as an adult or it was a religious wedding at any age I could maybe get over it but I’d at least expect free soft drinks. Personally I’ve always wondered why people don’t have fewer guests and treat them than having hundreds plus evening guests… I’ve always considered those to be present grabbers.

I’ve heard of people going to weddings where they are invited to the ceremony but not the wedding breakfast and come back for the post dinner reception.


I’d never attend these because I’d feel like you only wanted my gift, it’s rude etc but they said as there were lots of them they went to the pub and had a great time. Problem was a number of them were late back for the reception.
Good luck with whatever you decide

View quoted message Everyone invited to our ceremony is invited to our reception, however this is only close friends and family. Honestly I actually forgot wedding presents were a thing at all, I hope it didn't come across as me just wanting peoples gifts haha

View quoted message That's a good point that I never thought of! In this case I may actually consider canapés then, honestly I think it's maybe the drinks packages I'm not keen on as they're very expensive for very few drinks that I'm not sure a lot of my guests would even like.

View quoted message I understand your comment and your views however the reason we are unsure about drinks and canapés in the first place is because we aren't earning a high income at all. It's taken us a while to save for this wedding and it's only a small one, purely for close friends and family, but it's still a lot of money for us.
While I'm now considering the canapés, the drinks packages aren't interesting at all and imo are overpriced (basically £15-20pp for 2 glasses of wine). I think my guests would prefer the bar even if it means getting up every now and then. As for the open bar idea, as said above, this is absolutely not something I can afford and I don't think my guests would expect me to afford it either. I personally think if anyone is willing to be genuinely upset with me over no open bar or drinks package then perhaps they shouldn't come after all - the invite isn't just to come and get drunk, but to actually support and celebrate our marriage.

View quoted message Hi Chloe, i completely understand where you are coming from. Everyone’s circumstances are different- my comments weren’t to offend or suggest anything. I was speaking from personal experiences with my uni friends where we have similar incomes etc.


Have a beautiful day x🥰🥰

Have you looked at non-traditional wedding reception venues? We were struggling to find a wedding venue that did a cheap enough package for us (even the 'basic' packages had loads of stuff we didn't want, like chair sashes), so eventually, we booked a lovely little country pub which let us have one of their function rooms for free and we could order what food we liked off their menu. It worked out about 1/3 of the cheapest 'wedding reception venue' package in the area!

I think you need to supply at least a welcome drink and a drink with the wedding breakfast. It’s normal to have at least 1 welcome drink, half bottle of wine per person then a bar for afterwards. I think not supplying anything is wrong and people do expect it. Ask your venue about corkage as it may work out cheaper to buy your own. I know you said you’re on a budget but there’s some things you can’t skimp on.

Apart from the debate about drinks, I would say that no one would notice if you did not have canapés. Yes they are a very tasty and exciting treat for the taste buds but I know some people think about using them to provide their guests something to eat if there is a later - or no wedding breakfast but that is not what they are designed for, they are tasty treats- fancies, they will not stop people from feeling hungry, in fact I may even argue that they will just make people feel even more hungry.

I did shoot a wedding where canapés were the food and it was a constant supply coming out and cost as much as a sit down meal would of done. Right up my street actually as I love to eat tapas style.

View quoted message No offence taken don't worry! I'm more so just talking about my own situation in response 🙂 you too!

View quoted message Personally I do not agree - for more bigger weddings then I think I'd agree however ours is not. Honestly if my close friends/family found out I had paid an extra £20pp, adding up to over half a grand extra, just for a glass of wine or 2 for them, they'd think I was silly. Maybe if the drinks packages were a bit better I'd be more interested. I'm looking for another way to provide some drinks myself, however there is a bar there which is right in the same room as the reception/entertainment room. I understand that other people's weddings and traditions may be different however this wedding is small and only close family and friends are invited, all of whom are understanding that we are on a tight budget and don't mind going to the bar if they have to. They're attending to see my marriage, not to get drunk or for the free meal. I'll be providing a good reception and evening for them so I don't believe I'm skimping just for avoiding wine.

View quoted message Thanks for sharing this, I may not get canapés after all then as the main reason was to stop people going hungry while taking photographs. I've looked again at the venues packages and they have a similarly priced option that's more filling-foods rather than snacks so I think I'll try go for that instead

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Have you actually seen the canapé's that you would be getting if you went for them and how many for each person it would be. Usually it will be based on a set amount per person.

I always ask the staff how many different ones they will be bringing out as I like to get some shots of each of them and it never seems to be more than 5 different ones. Some offer "heartier" bites than others and it seems to be that the fancier they are the smaller they are.

Also if people are not keen on trying new things then they wont touch them.

You do whatever you're happy with.
We're having the drinks reception and wedding breakfast, and putting enough back to have one drink at the reception for each guest.
I really object to the idea that people who don't pay for everyone to have extra food and drinks are "present grabbers". In fact, I see it the other way round - "I don't have to pay for anything so I'll go to the wedding and get a free booze up". People who you invite to your wedding will just be glad they were invited and be happy to put their hand in their pocket to buy drinks for themselves and if they're not, they're the ones who have the grabby attitude.

Hey, from my experience so far they tend to bundle up but if you are honest about your budget or swap things around to try to save a bit, that may help with saving (I.e if it’s a 2 drink package maybe negotiate for it to be 1 drink and if it’s 3 canapés negotiate to 2 instead). Hope that helps x

Hello lovely, gosh this started a debate didn't it!

If it helps just sharing what we chose to do :-)

We decided not to go for canapes in the end, as our venue they were really pricey and we would prefer to invest that £500 / £600 in the drinks package. I've also found often at weddings by the time I have my clutch bag in one hand and a drink in the other I haven't taken canapes as I can't be bothered with the faff!

We have let the guests know our day timings so they can plan to eat before the ceremony should they want to (and our venue has a restaurant on site they can book into for brunch / early lunch too). I've often had a quick sandwich in the car / hotel room to keep me going before a wedding!

We are doing a welcome drink, 1/2 bottle wine at the meal per person and a glass of prosecco for the speeches - I would expect this as standard as it has been what we've had at every venue, but of course if any friends or family couldn't afford this we would never begrudge them!

Most venues should offer flex packages as they will be keen to work to your budget I'm sure.

Hope you get sorted :-)

View quoted message I totally agree on remembering cash-bar no-catering weddings for the wrong reasons.


Went to one a few years ago at a very ostentatious London location where there wasn’t so much as a welcome glass of tap water or single crisp, no meal either, expensive (£10 a glass of wine type prices) cash bar… but the couple asked for cash in lieu of gifts. It stuck our minds for all the wrong reasons and a glass of fizz would have made all the difference. We felt like we’d been invited to help fund the do lol!
People are of course there to celebrate your love - but chances are they’ve paid for travel, outfits/shoes and gift by the time they arrive.
You can set a budget limit or do drinks tickets to manage spend but I’d recommend a small welcome offering. A good venue will help you find an option that suits your budget - and remember there’s no harm in asking, “What could you offer for £X/head?” based on what you can spend.

View quoted message We are going to be talking to the venue to discuss other affordable options for drinks and small snacks but as it is right now, their packages are overpriced and crap. There is a bar in the same room as entertainment/reception though and it isn't too expensive.


I do admit it would be crap to not even have so much as a snack provided at a wedding, and then to ask for gifts as well 😬 personally we aren't going to be asking for gifts at all as we aren't bothered about that, we only want our guests to celebrate our marriage and enjoy themselves.
We will be providing a very nice reception meal and a nice evening meal too, so our guests aren't going to starve thankfully and it's not like we're providing nothing, we are just trying to do what's best for our budget right now while still making it a nice day for everyone - although in my opinion, if any guests find travel or no free drinks to be that much of a bother to the point where they'll have bad memories of it, they're free to just not attend.

We are doing:
1 sparking wine after ceremony plus 1 bottle of beer/ soft drink each with canapes.
Half a bottle each during meal with water 1 sparking wine for speech.
No free bar at evening party.
Apparently guests expect 3 drinks an hour, so maybe we have add another in during canapes while photos take place. Im undecided and my bank manager might have a few words with me ha

View quoted message It seems it has started a debate! Thanks for sharing your experiences, I'm not sure about canapés as I do think there could be better alternatives. I'm still looking at options for drinks to see if we can provide anything at our reception, I'm just really not keen on our venues packages as they're very expensive for what you get - I know my family also wouldn't mind if they just stuck to the bar anyway though, the bar isn't too pricey there anyway thankfully

View quoted message I think as long as you make it clear what will/won’t be there on the day like you said people are prepared and shouldn’t be disappointed.


Personally if I wasn’t told I would anticipate something but if I didn’t get it I wouldn’t be upset just regret not eating before hand!
Most people should understand that the word wedding add crazy £££ to costs of stuff so should be happy to just celebrate with you. I also think there is nothing wrong with asking the venue to compromise and I certainly would be doing the same with the drinks package particularly you mentioned doesn’t seem like any sort of value for money!

I didn’t like the drinks package our venue was doing , so we are paying corkage and I went to Sainsbury’s when they had their 25% off wine offer on and bought all my wine and fizz.

View quoted message Thank you Kayleigh. I agree with you completely! If any of my guests are going to be upset over no free drinks then I'd personally rather they just didn't join us, I'm trying my best to provide good meals and whatnot with my budget but the wedding is for my marriage after all, not for a free night out for others. Thankfully I think all my guests are very understanding and are attending for the right reasons

View quoted message Yeah that makes sense and you’re right, it’s different when you’re serving a lovely meal and having a proper evening reception. I’m changing my vote, it’s fine not to do reception drinks and canapés in that context, though it is nice if you can.

Goodness this thread has bought out all the emotions/opinions (mine included) 😳. Though not unexpected as everyone has different expectations and different pockets. I think I’ve said this before but only you know your finances, your family and your friends so only you can decide either way.


The one thing that is clear is everyone has an opinion 🤣. I sit in the camp of if someone invites another person somewhere the inviter foots the bill - if someone invited me to dinner but asked me to arrive at 12 i’d expect to be fed and watered in the interim hours ahead of dinner. When I was dating the person who initiated the date paid. With friends if they said they couldn’t afford a night out but I was insistent on going out I foot the taxi and (most of) the drinks bill. NOT EVERYONE thinks this way and that’s okay. Some may think it scandalous and that’s okay.
Personally, I don’t think it fair when people have suggested that guests expecting food/drink ahead of dinner is “a bad friend”. If it were a dinner party (in place of a wedding) a guest might bring a nominal bottle of wine (gift) to say “thanks for having me” but the host would foot the bulk of the bill- unless you were told up front bring a dish/ I provide food but if you want more than water you must bring it yourself etc.
As long as you tell people the schedule of the day ie ceremony at 1pm, cash reception 2-4pm , wedding breakfast at 4:30pm etc then not serving anything ahead of dinner is 💯 okay because people will plan their eating accordingly.
I’m getting married in 2 weeks and the final bills are adding up so I’m probably gonna wish I took your approach.

View quoted message You make such good points!


This is the outlook my partner and I have, probably motivated a bit by the fact that he’s American and this is a bit more explicitly the way things work in the US.
I don’t think friends who travel to be with you, bring a gift, make the effort to meet the dress code and are surprised not to get a glass of fizz on arrival are “grabby” either!
Probably the solution as so many have suggested is to be clear on the invite what is happening but to assume you will need to feed people twice for a morning/early afternoon do and once for a late afternoon evening do.

Hello...can we talk privately

View quoted message It certainly has brought out people's opinions which I didn't expect especially as my first post!


Honestly your opinion is fine and if you expect that then that's totally fine too - a lot of people see things differently, everyone's wedding is different, etc! Really I think my issue with some of the replies on this post is that it feels like a few people are trying to force their view onto me even after I've explained my own situation, which is a bit upsetting 🙁
I can't speak for others but I didn't mean to have it come across as guests who may assume that they'll receive a welcome drink etc. are bad friends at all, as I do understand it can be tradition for weddings 🙂 all my guests will be aware of what to expect, all of them are aware I'm on a low budget, and they're all being treated to a nice reception meal and evening meal. So I do think in my case, if a guest were to think of my wedding negatively or be genuinely upset over no free drink on top of everything else, I would rather they didn't attend, it would save us both the heartbreak.
Although I think my issue really is a few people reading that my wedding is small and on a budget but still trying to tell me it's wrong to not pay for drinks, that my guests will think negatively of my wedding or have a bad time just because they may have to pay for their own drinks, etc... At some weddings this might be true. But in my case, it is close friends and family, all of whom are aware I'm on a budget. They'll all be aware of what to expect so there's no surprises. I don't expect gifts, the wedding isn't for that (so definitely not a present grabber), I'm simply happy for the guest to celebrate with us. The guests will have a really nice reception meal and an evening meal too! So even if I may not manage to get a free drink for them, they're still being treated well. We're simply trying our best, I think it's just a bit upsetting to see people suggest I'm doing something wrong even after all of that, yknow?
(This turned into a bit of a ramble, I'm sorry haha)

Hi Chloe, just wanted to say that if I upset you with my reply then I am very sorry as that was never my intention. I hope you have a lovely day x

View quoted message Sorry for upsetting you (especially as it is your first post) - it’s never my my intention to upset you. As you say your friends and family are aware and I’m sure they’ll have a lovely time at your wedding 🥰🥰.