Are you inviting small children to your evening?

I haven't invited children to the day or the night (apart from our son and our niece & nephew) some people weren't very happy about it but they were all people that didn't have children at their weddings and have changed their minds now they have children of their own. Im of the view that if they don't want to come then they don't have to, they are all evening guests and although I would like to see them if they didn't come it wouldn't ruin my day hence them being evening guests in the first place. Weddings make people crazy don't let it get to you, I've taken the advice of the Madagascar penguins "smile & wave" on board and it's got my through the planning stage without trying to kill anyone ??

The only kids at my wedding will be our brothers and sisters and our son and nephew. Our siblings are all early teens though. As a compromise for our family and the rest of our kid cousins, is that we will start our reception around 5pm, so the kids can join us for evening food and a bit of party time. They will only be 5 min drive over the road so that wont be such an issue for us. They only reason that they are not invited to the day is because we have hit maximum capacity.

Is it possible to start the evening celebrations a bit earlier? Sorry I am not much help

We'll have small children (niece, nephew aged 2-5) and older children (family & close friends' kids aged 5-14) coming to the day but I don't think any kids will be invited to the evening only. We have friends with kids who we want to invite to the reception but as a rule it's family & close friends' children only and we hope other parents will understand that.

To be honest all the parents I've spoken to have said they'll relish an evening away from the kids!

I think as long as you make it clear what your rules are, if they decline your invitation knowing them, well that's up to them. I think it's important to stick to your guns and not invite 'x's children to the reception, because then 'y' really will get upset about it. It has to be one rule for everyone, that's fair IMO.

We have 17 children at the daytime and 42 extra kids for the evening. With 4 kids ourselves I couldn't bring myself to exclude kids, even if I do secretly hope a few don't get brought along.....

I think if you choose not to invite children that's entirely your choice there are a few I wish I could uninvite. But then if people won't/can't come because of that then that's theirs.

We all know it happens. My sister only invited family children but none of her friends children, some came still some didn't. That's the risk you take, you can't really get annoyed about it either way. But don't change your mind to suit other people!!

And if people decline, it keeps the cost down!!

We are not having children to the day or th evening! It may upset a few people but if im honest I dont care lol. I think parents will have a better time if their children aren't there. Can relax a bit more x

Ok, a few pointers.

1. People can't always get a babysitter, especially if their usual sitters are family and its a family event.

2. It is your right to request a no child policy, but don't be surprised if people say they can't/won't come because of it

3. Other people who tell you things aren't always accurate, not through malice but through genuine mistake ( sometimes it is malicious or a misguided gesture of support).

4. Rsvps are the bane of all bride's lives but declines are the worst. I think sometimes its because we don't like upsetting people so we put off sending a decline.

I think its important to remember that everyone has different priorities and thoughts regarding children at weddings. We need to accept that some people love the thought of leaving their kids at home, others don't. So we accept their decision regardless xxx

Omg why do weddings bring out the worst in people! I'm having 10 kids who are leaving before the evening. My little one was invited to a wedding we went too last week and I chose not to bring her along so I could relax and enjoy the day without worrying! People really need to chill and get over themselves and realise the day is about two people coming together in love and not about them and their families x

I have a strict no child rule except for the selected few close ones. I'm not getting married until 4 pm so it's a little easier for babysitters to be arranged.

We have 8 coming during the day (close family only) but I won't be inviting any extra in the evening.

All good points Beckijane. Unfortunately we are having children to our wedding party. Mr Erin from the off wanted to invite them and l didn't, l compromised as he has lots of nieces and nephews. He has subsequently realised l am right as its am evening thing and it has restricted how many people we can invite. Most people are not bringing their children as its an evening thing. A friend of ours are not bringing their 3 very badly behaved children which is a relief!

We have invited children to the day- our niece without question, and then 3 children who are close family friend's of my H2B

Then we have got 3 children coming to the evening- these are my H2B step nephew and nieces,

and a couple who are coming to the evening will be bringing their month old baby with them

MIL2B wanted the step nephew and nieces to come all day, but I can see them running around everywhere so I said just the evening!

We are, but then mine will be 2 and 3 and with the entire family there I would have no one to babysit!

We're having 19 children to our day aged from 1-12 (mostly under 8) but probably won't invite any more to the evening. I think 20 is probably enough!! Xxx

You haven't done anything wrong so please don't feel bad. You will never get everyone you invite there, which is sad but just a fact of life. What's most important is you have the feel and style of wedding you want. If that's no kids, then it's no kids.

I am inviting no kids to any part of the day, it's my and my husband's day, and it's our choice! I don't want kids crying in church or running around during the meal. My choice!

We're not having day and evening guests. Everyone's invited to everything. We have included children on our invitations but have said that, whilst we'd rather have people there with their kids than not there at all, if it's possible for them to make alternative arrangements for the children we would prefer that they did. This is mostly for friends though, as both of our families are traveling distances between 100 and 250 miles to be with us on the day.

We're having everyone invited to everything same as Melancholie but children are all invited. Most of them will be over 7. Our daughter will be 4, and one of our family friends will be bringing two girls between 2-3. The ones with younger children are staying over at the venue anyway so one parent can take them to bed and swap if they want to. If there are any additions to the families in the next couple of years we will invite them.

Saying that, as long as people are aware that you don't want children there then that's fine. You just can't expect everyone to accept the invite. I wouldn't decline an invite for no children as long as I could get a babysitter, I would probably just leave earlier.

Because we're having two does as getting married away from home, for the actual day then it's full day and night for everyone (over two nights anyway) so all children will be there, including it turns out a new baby - will be about 8 weeks old.

For our other party ten days later though it's proving a little awkward as the venue is looking tight. I'm going to suggest wording as has been mentioned previously which will be to encourage people not to bring young children but they may if they wish. We've done the evening in two parts - starting around 5 for those with young children and then 7.00 for adults. Got to work out how to word it all though.

We didn't want any children at our wedding abroad, but were prepared to accept this if people were travelling over with their kids. As it happened, nobody did.

At our home party, it was a raucous evening party, held at my PILs farm, where there are big drops, lots of machinery etc, so it just wasn't suitable. We told people that kids weren't invited and luckily nobody made a fuss. I just didn't want kids running around on the dancefloor.

We will probably invite children to the evening, then it's the parents choice if they want to come as a couple or a family. Having 2 young children ourselves and having around 13 under 12's in the daytime I figure those kids will still be there come the evening so in for a penny in for a pound! I like the idea that our day will be as much about the 4 of us as the 2 of us so it will be nice for our kids to have fun with their friends xx