Are you inviting your partner's siblings to stag/hen dos?

Hmm. I feel like I’d be inclined to advise you don’t invite FSIL, simply because your post (reading between the lines) is filled with feelings of ‘should’ and obligation, rather than you really wanting her there. Remember, this is YOUR hen party; it’s all about you and your journey and your special moment. So surely you have to make it the very best it can be? Comfortable and happy and fun.


You’re marrying this girl’s brother, so there’s plenty of time to build a relationship going forward, but considering you’ve only met her twice and it might feel awkward her being there, I’d say don’t invite her. Just my thoughts xx

As you only met her twice and don't have a close relationship with her I wouldn't invite her. The hem is for you to be with your closest girls and I suspect she would feel awkward anyway. Then your FH doesn't feel obliged to ask your brother either

I had a very similar dilemma. My FSIL is lovely but we are very different people and I think both of us would probably feel slightly awkward if she came to the hen do. I think she would feel obligated to go rather than really wanting to and I think I would not enjoy it as much as I would be conscious of making sure I was on my best behaviour in front of her. To get around it, I decided to have two "hen dos". A less PG, more raucous friends one and then a more civilised family one that my FSIL, FMIL, grandparents etc. can come to. That way, everyone gets included and no-one is in a position that makes them feel awkward.

Don't invite anyone you think you 'ought' to have to your hen do. Reading your comments about whether it might be awkward or being 'stuck' with your SIL as a roommate, it sounds as if you are definitely inviting her out of obligation only.

You are hopefully going to have many years to build up a friendship with your SIL and many more opportunities to get to know her - I don't think that inviting her to your hen do is necessary, and she probably won't enjoy it that much if she doesn't know anyone else.

You could always invite the women from his family for a coffee or afternoon tea or something similar, just to get to know them a bit better before the wedding. A kind of hen do but not really. Good compromise?

Thanks so much everyone! You've all picked up on my awkwardness haha! It might be that down the line I get to know her better and would be sad I hadn't invited her, but if I'm deciding just for me then right now I'd prefer it be only the people I'm most comfortable with - I just didn't know if it was a real etiquette faux pas not to invite your future sibling!