Argh Church questions/problems!

Obviously I dont know which Church your talking about but ours has an hour slot every Wednesday between 6.45 and 7.45 to just 'pop' in and discuss any issues, concerns etc, I wonder if this is the case at your church? Is there anyone who has had a wedding/christning their recently that you could talk to? if in doubt just attend one of their services and catch the vicar at the end.

HTH x x

They have a 'wedding slot' every 2 months! The church is a villlage one and doesnt have a service every week plus to make it worse i work vv odd unsocialable shifts!

How early/often have vicar contacted you? (if at all)

We have been into church three times, once to ask for our date, second time to take the deposit and third to notify them of change of address. They have contacted us once by letter to say they are having an open night where all the brides and grooms getting married this year in that church can get together and ask questions discuss hymms etc. thats all the contact we have had.

Sorry I cant be of more help

We had a problem that nearly made me cry as the priest of our church rang up and asked what date in NOVEMBER we had wanted.... we are getting married in august on the 13th.... H2b has sorted it out and hopefully i am going to touch base with him when i am at "home" next week. That being said getting through to him on the phone has never been a problem... visiting in person or catching them after a service is how we approach our local priest - not sure if that is an option for you?

I'm really suprised at this. Our vicar has been brilliant. Always there when we've made contact, and I also have to have the banns read in our local church so have contacted 2 vicars, and both i've had no problems with.

I think you'll find the vicar and the church wardens etc are a lot more accommodating for people who go to church regularly and make an effort to attend not just get married there.

not saying this applies to you are prob reasons why you don't go but at our church i know they've been a lot more helpful to us as we go at least once a month and my mum goes than they are to people who just have their wedding there. Plus, vicars often have a lot going on so if you can catch them in person after a normal service you'll probably have more luck sorting things out. Maybe find out when their nexxt sunday service is and go along to that to finalise a meeting for the detals

Oh no im really worried now :-( i expected them to be organised. We booked it nearly a year ago, havent paid a deposit or anything. When we booked it we had a 5 min conversation in person, she asked the date, how i 'qualify to marry' in the church, telephone number and that was it!

Seems odd question, but im making my own stationary. When/how did you get and sort out the order of service booklets? Did your vicar give you one from previous weddings?

Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh STRESSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks for replies so far, i was beginning to wonder if i was having a bridzilla moment!

We've been in contact with our vicar through email and face to face after services. He's been great at responding to my million questions. The other vicar at our local church hasn't been so great although he does answer the phone when I call him.

If you were hiring a venue and didn't get any response from numerous emails and calls you would be very worried. I'd attend a service and grab her at the end to chat through your concerns.

I think you need to remember that you need their services not the other way around so if you want a meeting etc you need to arrange it.

We asked to have a meeting with our vicar and we went through the OOS etc then but you don't finalise the details till nearer the date when you've picked your hymns, readings etc. We just got a guide one from the vicar - you can get them from the church of england website

And you don't pay a deposit generally I don't think - we just pay in the week up to the wedding.

You should probably make the effort to go to the church (or someone in you family) to try and sort out the details I think

OH is going to the church tomorrow to a wedding and christening open morning. I am unable to go myself due to work committments. I have tried numerous times to make appointment via phone.

Ohh ill have look on church of england website, thanks.

My Oh's father is a vicar at a church 150miles away from us! He and my OH's family do alot of misionary workand have dedicated their life to the church. He isnt too happy about the way we are being treated, just to clarify we havent 'just decided' to get married in a church. Just wondering if anyone else has had these experiences.

******* Update just looked at church of england website, vvvvvvv helpfull. Thank u for the suggestion**************

I am hoping that your Vicar is like mine and doesn't 'do' things over the phone. I know you've said work can be a bit mental but is there any reason you haven't popped along to a Sunday service to see him? It's something we are going to be doing, we want to know his "style" of preaching etc before we entrust our special day to him.

We haven't paid a deposit, but we booked in April '10 for an August '11 wedding - we were then invited via an Xmas card to marriage prep last week where we went through Banns details, all the legal side, the detail of the service etc. I know some couples in there were getting married in the next Month so they would have been left without this info till the last minite almost.

My advice would be to make yourselve more of a precence in church - it will keep you in the Vicars mind and will also make sure you get all the info you need. It might be that if you can't make Sunday service you could pop along to another event, most churches have something going on during the week too, and on some Saturday mornings.

I really feel for you it must be rather trumatic for you.

Are experience is:-

Contacted church via E mail

with in a week had forms sent to us

Filled in form very quickly had letter to accept our wishes to be married there

confirmed booking with £100 deposit

That was about 18 months ago

In jan was invited to wedding couples day were had a general chat of what to expect with lunch inclued

Got 1st of 2 meeting 1st march for our actual wedding planning

will have another one around june for wedding in Aug

Maybe you need to sit back and consider which means most that particular church or your sanity

If I was you I dont think I would be able to marry there as you need to completely trust them and this situation does not fill me with that on your behalf.

I understand they are busy pepole with a whole flock to see to but so much correspondance with none back is very worrying.