Asking guests not to post on social media?

It makes absolute sense to me, and we are planning to do the same. We are inviting them to share out special day, not act like paparazzi!

If they are real friends, they will respect your wishes.

Rog.

You could ask guests not to post on social media on the invitations or have a board up at the ceremony or even write it on the order of service but I don't know how it would be received.

Although it is your day, I don't think it could come across as anything other than a bridezilla moment unless the guests are close enough to you that they understand your reasons.

I usually don't love having my picture taken but I'm actually looking forward to it on my wedding day as I'm hoping to look at my absolute best with a fab dress and professional hair and makeup.

I am planning on doing the same thing. I think that it would really bug me if the whole of my facebook friends (acquaintances) had seen a picture of me which first, I might look awful and second, I haven't seen myself...

I have read a similar thread on one of the wedding forums am I think some other people suggested some kind of sign requesting no sharing on pics on social media, plus getting the registrar to remind guests at the beginning of the ceremony.

I don't think it's bridezilla at all and have actually seen a couple of my friends post on facebook the day before their wedding asking for no photos to be put up until the couple have put one up themselves. I feel exactly the same and want to put a photo up of me and OH when I'm happy to. I also don't want any photos taken during the ceremony as I'd rather see my guests faces than a sea of phones.

We are going to put a note in with the invites and probably also have a sign up - we're getting married in a cinema so a sign will work well for us

My husband and I (EEK 4 days married) both hate having our photo taken and tend to have that rabbit caught in headlights look when we do. We were dreading it. However our friends pics are no where near as bad as I expected them to be. See jayneE sneak preview. I'm actually looking forward to seeing the professional pics tomorrow. However I think it's fair comment to ask people not to post pics of you without your approval. X

We asked guests not to take photographs during the service, and put a message on the back of the Orders of Service to that effect. Our photographer also reminded guests before the service, I'm told. I didn't hear anyone complain and I haven't seen any photographs which were taken during the service so I am assuming our wishes were adhered to.

In terms of social media, we put cards in the wine glasses asking guests to share their photos via the WedPics sharing service and inviting them to share their photos via social media should they so wish, but requesting that they wait until festivities have closed before doing so. That gave us time to post a picture if we wanted to. Again, our guests didn't grumble and did as they were asked.

I'm going to print small cards to go on the seats with our wed pics details and ask them not to be posted on fb till the following day.

I don't think it's at all bridezilla-ish! Actually before I saw your post, I was just reading about the advantages of 'unplugged weddings'; banning digital devices (perhaps just for the ceremony) can be a great idea. After all, during the recessional wouldn't you rather see the smiles of your family beaming back at you, than lots of camera lenses and iPads?!

I'm sure that friends and family who couldn't attend will be burning to see some pictures though, so if you go this route you may want to discuss with your photographer getting a few preview photos out on the day or soon after if that's not something they've already told you they offer.

The part that I would consider bridezilla is not the ban of the use of cameras during the ceremony, I agree that it's better for guests to actually be "present" during the ceremony and will probably request something similar myself. When it comes to the reception, I will trust my guests judgement and understand that they will want some of their own photos of the day.

If you refer back to my original post, the part I am not so keen on is banning any posting on social media and telling guests that any photos posted must be pre approved.

I attended a wedding where the registrar asked us not to post any photographs on social media. I was a bit surprised but respected their wishes. I waited until I saw the bride and groom putting pictures of their day onto FB before I uploaded any.

I will be asking people not to take photographs during the ceremony but there won't be any restrictions on posting photos.

It is your decision and I am sure that people will respect your wishes x

If you google unplugged weddings you will see lots of examples of poems and signs asking guests not to post photos on social media. Also, if you go on FB you can set it so that you have to approve any tags before they appear on you’re timeline – that way unless people are friends with those uploading the photos they won’t see them.

We've asked people not to post on social media until we've put the 'official' photos out - for some people, facebook etc will be the first photos of the wedding they've seen!

There's some nice signs you can buy from eBay very inexpensively.

I don't think it's Bridezilla at all. Nothing worse than having dodgy unflattering photos of you plastered all over social media on such an important day.

From what I've seen most guests do respect it

We allowed guests to take photos during the ceremony (my family are photo-mad, there would be no way I could have stopped them). It is understandable that guests want photos for their own personal collection, and I think it is a nice thing as the official photographer cannot be in all places at once, and our guests took some photos from different angles that the official photographer didn't.

We asked for a blanket ban on putting photos on social media full stop, to maintain our privacy. A wedding is a private event and it is a privilege to be invited. I have seen photos on FB of a friend of a friend's wedding in which I feel like I have been at the wedding because so many intimate moments and details were shown. Our circle is small so everybody knows everybody.

I am sure your friends would understand. There is all sort of etiquette regarding FB, some people don't want any photos of their children on there, some people don't want any photos of the inside of their house on there, all for good understandable reasons.

It might be best to do this via a sign at the entrance, and a reminder on the back of the Order of Service sheet etc. It can be done in a nice way by having a nice rhyme or in a jokey way (along the lines of 'What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas').

Another thing you can consider doing is to change your privacy settings on Facebook so that any photos you are tagged in (OH would have to do this also) don't appear on your Facebook page. It's not a complete blanket ban but it stops acquaintances from seeing photos of you unless they happen to be friends with any of your guests. That, in conjunction with a request for no photos during the ceremony will usually do the trick. I'm not sure you will be able to stop everyone from posting during / after the reception though. Once the drinks start flowing people will probably start uploading photos.

I think it's perfectly fine to ask guests not to post on social media. It is your day and your news to share, no one else's. I decided we would ask our guests not to post photos on Facebook after I saw getting ready and before entering the church photos of an old friend on her wedding day, posted by her sister!, before he groom had even seen her! I just feel it's not really appropriate for others to share such moments without your permission.

Maybe something like this, except omitting the last line if you don't intend on sharing the photos.

Hi hun, I totally agree!

So, I've put a note in with the invites to say please keep your phones and cameras tucked safely away and enjoy the ceremony fully. Also, no photos to go on social media until OH and I post one ourselves, I've also asked the registar to mention it plus I'm going to get a small sign to remind on the day.

It's what a lot of people are doing now, 'unplugged' weddings. I think so much gets revealed on facebook too soon and not always by the person involved, it's crazy!

Good luck x

Should have mentioned, my venue ask if they can put photos up... they usually take 3 or 4 from the photographer and pop them online around 8pm so after the evening has started. I've been telling those that aren't going to 'like' their page so they see them. I do plan to post a photo ourselves around the same time too.

Thanks everyone, glad it's not just me. Phew! Lots of great ideas.

"please let the bride and groom be the first to share a photo of their wedding day on social media"

says it perfectly without sounding rude! I'll definitely be doing this and our ceremony will be "unplugged"! xx

DON'T PANIC!!!!

This is actually becoming fairly common. Here in Essex the Registrars are generally happy to make an announcment, prior to the ceremony beginning and it seems like an effective way of doing it.

Something along the lines of "The Bride and Groom wanted some special people to be here today, who can't make it, and they don't want the special surprises they have in store for these people spoiled, before they have a chance to share their day with them"

It's up to you whether this is true or not, but sometimes a little white lie is more effective than a harsh truth!

Pete