At weddings why do people have speeches before the food?

Because some people are so nervous about speeches they can’t enjoy their food. We didn’t have any speeches. My two teenage daughters read a poem and my dad did a toast, that was it. My dad said he felt so much calmer and less stressed than at my sisters wedding 12 years ago where he was expected to do a speech. Times have changed and you can do what you like! No rules.

We are doing them before food. Everyone is having a full breakfast between 7-10am, ceremony at 2, canapes and drinks at 2:30, speeches at 4:15 and meal at 4:30. As it's just a bride speech and a groom speech it means we both can relax having done all the 'official' type things and just enjoy our meals. I know some people also have speeches between main course and dessert too. It also means we can keep to time. I have been to a few where people speak after and the drink/tiredness of the day means the speeches can get a bit long and lively! Before or after meals is absolutely fine - go with what suits you and the timings of your day so everyone is comfortable.

My fiancé will be so nervous about the speech so I’d rather he had his food knowing it’s all out of the way 😊 His emotions and feelings are more important to me than people being cranky 😂

Nerves! My husband to be wants to do speeches before dinner so that he can enjoy the meal!

All weddings are different. Some of the best ways we’ve seen speeches done is to have 1-2 between each course, saves it being one long speech fest at the end, and it breaks up the dinner a bit more naturally too. I don’t tend to like rushing a 3 course dinner, so having speeches in between has been a nice way to have a natural 10-15 min pause between each course.
I guess it depends how many speeches you have and what the speeches will be about & also the nervousness of those giving a speech.
The nice thing is, is that it’s your wedding day, so you can do what suits you

We did them in between courses. The Groom and Best Man were nervous so they could at least enjoy part of their meal. Everyone liked it as there was not a long stretch of speeches at the end and it broke up the meal perfectly

We got told to do them before by the venue as people get sleepy after food and won't be listening!

Ooh this is intersting - I've never seen them before food, always after!

We debated doing ours spread out between courses, but due to the photographer needing a break and the most logical thing being for that to happen during the meal, we decided not to do that because we do want photos of the speeches.

We talked about having them before (due to nerves etc) but the venue said it would cause chaos with food timings and that in their experience after the meal everyone has had a couple of drinks and been fed so are happier to sit and listen

View quoted message Absolutely - this!


I know far too many people who didn’t eat at weddings because of speech nerves and I don’t want to put anyone (including me!) through that.

We did ours after the meal.
My husband debated on doing them before as he doesn't like the spotlight on him and thought he wouldn't eat due nerves but he was great and smashed it out of the park bless him

I've never been to a wedding that didn't have the speeches after the meal! Is having them beforehand a new trend?

Yeah we are doing ours before. My fiancé got asked to be best man for his friend and they did speeches after food and he was so nervous he didn’t eat any of the meal!
Also I found that after people had eaten they were less interested in hearing speeches as they had all got comfortable chatting and drinking with each other at the table by this point.

We liked them before so they didnt drag on too much. short and sweet and then afterwards people could njoyb their meal at leisure and socialise

I’m doing mine before because my mum told me when my dad was a best man previously, he was so nervous and hardly ate his dinner! So I want him to get that out the way at our wedding and then relax and enjoy the food (that is costing us a lot of money ha!)