Autism friendly wedding?

Do you really want a DJ? If lights and noise aren't a thing either of you enjoy there's no rule saying you have to do it! I went to a wedding where they had board games and film music playing. It's your day. What do the 2 of you enjoy doing with family and friends?

This is probably an idea you’ve already thought of but think about the timings of the whole day to allow people to have a decent amount of downtime, and have a clear timeline printed so everyone knows how much time they can take away without missing key bits. At my sister’s wedding, there was a gap of about 90 minutes between the ceremony and the reception, and a small group of us (including the bride & groom) went back to the house we were staying in to have a little bit of time to ourselves. Because we knew the exact time of the next big thing we could properly relax.

I was going to ask the same as Lauren! We went for a relaxed dinner party vibe for our reception. Just had background Spotify playlists. No DJ, no flashy lights. Everyone really enjoyed our evening and chatted and mingled. It was perfect for us.

We were the same as Emily with a dinner party feel. Just Spotify playing in the background and everyone talking to each around a big table. Later in the night we set up a TV with video games for the kids (and big kids!).

Don't feel like you have to have a DJ if it would create too many difficulties for you all.

How about ignoring all the traditions and designing a wedding that works for you?

All you need for a wedding is the basic legal ceremony and paperwork. Everything else is optional. So if you don't like loud noises and flashing lights, maybe instead of trying to work ot ways of making the dance floor quieter and less visually distracting, you should just skip it completely. What kind of things do you like doing? What environment do you enjoy spending time in? Think about these things and see if you can come up with a wedding that truly reflects your personalities.

Also, don't feel that you have to have an all-day event. I much prefer weddings that finish fairly early in the evening, as I get exhausted by a few hours of socialising and I don't like late nights!

Both myself and my partner are on the spectrum, as are most of our guests.

We plan to have a small room with minimal lighting away from all the noise where people can go and take time to relax and re-set away from everyone. You could also see if your DJ could set up a silent disco, imo this benefits everyone as those that want to talk don't have to yell to be heard over the music. if this isn't possible or just not something you want, perhaps have some disposable ear plugs available for those that want/need them.

We are also providing everyone with a timeline of key events (dinner time, when music is starting etc) so everyone knows what's occurring and when beforehand. That way people can decide what they want to participate in or decide to disappear before it gets overly loud.

Food is another thing to consider, your menu may not necessarily be "safe" for everyone. If your venues allows, suggest those with food/texture aversions bring some safe snacks with them just in case.