Hi. I have recently got married and have suffered post wedding anxiety -something I did not expect but turns out is super common. Rather than rant about it here I wanted to give advice -I think one of the most frustrating things is knowing I can’t go back and change anything plus will (hopefully!) never do it again. But I figured I could take those wishes and offer as advice to future brides:
1. Go easy on the planning -however much you enjoy it (I did!) don’t get obsessed and continue other hobbies. Ensure your partner takes on a fair amount and if friends and family offer to help take it even if you want to do it all and have a vision -this may prevent you feeling the burden of everything going right on the day is all on you.
2. Wear your dress before! I didn’t aside from fittings wanting to keep it pristine but on reflection wearing something you are familiar with moving about in is more important. Also make plans for if a bustle breaks (happened to me, luckily sister had safety pins!)
3. If you have a photographer be assertive and speak up if there are things you are uncomfortable with (I personally didn’t enjoy trailing through mud) and if you have had enough take a break, the photos can be exhausting.
4. We had a long top table but on reflection I’d recommend a round one -means your parents or whoever is on it can talk to each other and you are fully enjoying the dining experience not watching others and having others watch you.
5. Plan in time just you and your new spouse to stand back and take it in together -look at and appreciate every detail.
6. Be prepared to not talk to all guests and maybe make effort with those you rarely see, perhaps warn friends this may happen and make plans to celebrate again with them soon after.
7. Don’t rush to a honeymoon the next day. Plan a family brunch to continue the celebration and be able to reflect on the day and keep the honeymoon as something to look forward to.
8. Assign someone -perhaps a friend, family or venue staff the job of checking in with you throughout -giving you drinks, water etc (I had thought everyone would be wanting to do things ‘for the bride’ but they all assume someone else is and you and your husband can get too swept away to think to pick up a drink!)
9 When you’re done call it a night. Don’t feel pressure to keep partying instead end on a high and don’t get over tired (the other guests likely didn’t get up as early as you for hair and make up!)
10 Practice mindfulness -get into the habit in the lead up. If anything doesn’t go quite right on the day take a few deep breaths and remind yourself of the bigger picture.
Hope this advice helps some of you!
