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Beginner April 2023 Argyll

Awkward stepmum..

Alexander29, 4 November, 2022 at 16:13 Posted on Planning 0 2

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Hi all

I have a very awkward stepmum who is miserable and complains at everything at the best of times! I don't know what to do in regards to a head table.. she is quite rude in general and would only be on the head table because of my dad.. but we don't really want her up there. My dad has said not to put her anywhere near my mum which just frustrated me from the get go as she is already creating issues, I wouldn't put them next to each other anyway even though my mum would never cause an issue with anyone. An option is to have a table with our maid of honour (partners sister) and the best man (partners sister's boyfriend) and our 2 children - my sister in law to be said that my mother in law would be upset about this set up. Has anyone else had an issue with step parents?

Thanks!

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Latest activity by Tanya, 5 November, 2022 at 17:24

Genius July 2020 Monmouthshire
RomanticGreenStationery27135 · 4 November, 2022 at 21:38
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Can you actually trust your step mother not to wreck the wedding wherever she is sitting? If you can't, then don't invite her at all. I know that sounds really harsh, but I have a friend whose wedding was wrecked by feuding step-parents, to the point where she can't look back on her wedding with pleasure even years after. So if you think she is really going to kick off, then don't invite her.
If you think she is just going to be low-key obnoxious, then I would suggest either having a really long top table, with her as far away as possible from your mother, or else making the top table for 'members of the bridal party', and having your dad one end, your mum the other end and parents' new partners on another table. Or else have a sweetheart table with just you and OH, and the rest of the family on a separate table if you think they are going to be jockeying for position over who gets to sit nearest the bride & groom!
I can understand why your MIL might feel hurt at the idea of siblings being on the top table but not parents. And while I hope she would understand if you explain the reasons, it always feels a bit unfair to me when the reasonable parents get penalised (by not being allowed on the top table) because of the behaviour of the obnoxious parents/step parents. Which is why I'd go for a veeeeeeeeery long family table with lots of space to spread your parents out!
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Curious April 2023 Hampshire
Tanya · 5 November, 2022 at 17:24
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Could you maybe do a top table with just you, Oh and your two children so it's more intimate as a family and spread the rest of the bridal party out. Hopefully that way you might not upset mil, it keeps the step mum away and hopefully she'll be grown up enough not to cause any trouble for you
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