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daffodilly
Beginner August 2015

backup Bridesmaid. ... help

daffodilly, 15 April, 2014 at 18:50 Posted on Planning 0 8

I'm in a bit of a dilemma... here goes...

i have 1 adult bridesmaid and two flower girls. my cbm is planning on having a baby as soon as possible and has said that she will happily be my bridesmaid providing that she is not heavily pregnant or has just had a baby. fair enough i have no problem with that at all but i would really like an adult bridesmaid on wedding day.

i have 4 other adult bridesmaid options...but I reallydon't know what to do or when to ask because i can't afford to have two adults and dont want to ask and then say oh... cbm isn't pregnant so I don't need you! That is simply not an option.All of the other girls I love dearly and I don't have to worry about asking one and offending another as they are all from my different aspects of my life.

1- college friend, lives relatively close by but has a two year old to contend with.

2- friends since we were 2... lives relatively close again but has two year old twins and a new born

3- friends for the least amount of time but have become very close (BT love us) she has a two year old a new born and lives 4 hours away.

4- sort of sister in law... my niece is a flowergirl...lives close by. We get on and are friendly but not bm friendly iykwim?

Really stuck on this one..... any help or advice would be great.

Thanks hitchers

Xxxxx

8 replies

Latest activity by daffodilly, 15 April, 2014 at 22:24
  • M
    Beginner May 2015
    missgeebee ·
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    Sounds complicated!

    what date is your wedding? Is there chance she would have got pregnant and had the baby in that time?

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  • daffodilly
    Beginner August 2015
    daffodilly ·
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    It's summer 2015. Sadly not... due to circumstances id rather not disclose... if she is pregnant she will either be heavily pregnant or have a new born.

    I hope other hitchers haven't mis understood either. ... the children themselves are more than welcome to attend and will all be invited too but whoever is bm I want them to enjoy the whole experience

    Without worrying or stressing about anything. .. that's my job lol!

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  • daffodilly
    Beginner August 2015
    daffodilly ·
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    That's definitely worth considering. Thank you.

    I think I'm going to have to seriously think about where to buy bm dresses from too. Still don't know which one though.

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  • AuntieBJ
    Beginner September 2014
    AuntieBJ ·
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    I'm confused. Surely she will know very soon whether she is pregnant or not. If she is, then make the choice between the three friends and forget the sort of sister-in-law as it doesn't sound like you're close. If she isn't, problem solved isn't it?

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  • Ohwhatatuesday
    Beginner May 2014
    Ohwhatatuesday ·
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    Don't do anything. You're going to have at least 6 or 7 months notice if she's going to be heavily pregnant by your wedding, so just wait and see, if she's not pregnant six months before the wedding then you know she won't be heavily pregnant, if she is, and she doesn't want to be BM anymore, then ask someone else then and decide who then, your relationships may change by then so the choice may be clearer.

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  • daffodilly
    Beginner August 2015
    daffodilly ·
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    Dreamcatchme... that's perfect... thank you .

    Sometimes I just can't see the wood for the trees.

    I really do hope my cbm can be there on the day but I know that having a baby is a HUGE deal for her.

    ( I known it is for all parents. .. so I'm not disputing that.)

    Im simply trying to.be little miss organised (and have a potential for back up plan as she suggested).

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