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snow bride
Beginner June 2016

Banned for being too negative???

snow bride, 10 May, 2015 at 19:22 Posted on Planning 0 21

I was part of a large facebook group for brides planning their wedding. OH's business is doing pretty badly so we're living off one wage at the mo.

I wrote a heartfelt worry that I wasnt even sure we could afford the wedding and was very worried about it all.

This morning another member kicked off saying she didn't need the negativity in her life and was leaving as she wanted to be somewhere happy. I stated this was a bit unfair as some people are having genuine problems and looking for help!

I have now been banned from the group as apparently I'm too negative, they want it to be a happy place and my down attitude stinks. From one post!!!

Was a tad shocked!

So on another note, does anyone know of any other facebook communities?

21 replies

Latest activity by MrsShep, 11 May, 2015 at 22:11
  • pink & glitz
    Beginner August 2014
    pink & glitz ·
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    Facebook is a lot of rubbish - stay on here Smiley smile))

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  • S
    Beginner December 2016
    sarah121 ·
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    Was that the 2015 or 2016 brides page? I follow those for a laugh, some of the stuff people come out with is shocking. xxx

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  • snow bride
    Beginner June 2016
    snow bride ·
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    It wasn't a dated one, just a general one run by one person.

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  • jen-lou
    Super July 2016
    jen-lou ·
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    How utterly cruel! stay on here. I wont say anymore as ill start ranting! I cant believe people are that cruel.

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  • S
    Beginner December 2016
    sarah121 ·
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    They're just as bad! Your better on here! I just go on for entertainment sometimes. They can be so cruel, one girl got called for her size, another cos she's trying sell stuff cos she's cancelled her wedding. They are so heartless. Stay on here it's much nicer! Xxx

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  • Lapland2015
    Beginner December 2015
    Lapland2015 ·
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    Really sorry to hear your OHs business is struggling atm, I hope things turn around for you both! As for the Facebook group it's just typical Facebook! i gave up on groups on there for anything as people just turn catty and a lot of people are out there purposely trying to start fights over stupid things. The woman who says they don't need negativity in their life needs to get a grip. Yes weddings should be a happy time and you hope things run smoothly but the reality is often that there are bumps in the road and people do get stressed whether it's money, guest lists, timings or cake issues and if you can't talk about it in a wedding forum / group where can you?

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  • L
    Curious October 2015
    LeedsWR ·
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    Planning weddings is not all sunshine, happiness and rainbows (and those who think it is are living in a world of their own!). Even with the best planing and set of friends/friends there normally always something that you want - no, strike that - have to rant about. Problem shared and all that.... Smiley smile

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  • Chucklevision
    Beginner July 2015
    Chucklevision ·
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    That's a bit harsh!!!! Sorry to hear of your troubles.

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  • InWineTheresTruth
    Beginner July 2015
    InWineTheresTruth ·
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    Was it Traceys treasures or some such garbage? I've only stayed on that because it's hilarious and the woman that runs thinks she is mega important always spouting about how it's her group ... never had a problem with other groups xx

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  • MrsShep
    Beginner September 2014
    MrsShep ·
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    Urgh, how small minded is that. Sorry to hear your OH is struggling and that you're having money worries, I hope it all works out soon

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  • InkedDoll
    VIP January 2015
    InkedDoll ·
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    I guess some people like to think that weddings and planning are all wine and roses. As we all know, they are not. I suspect if I was in such a group, I'd be banned too for similar reasons, as I was pretty negative during a lot of my planning due to my anxieties. But much better to be somewhere where you can be honest about this stuff than pretend everything's wonderful when it isn't.

    Facebook is like a hotbed for arguments though. I was in a vegan group a while ago, and a guy joined trying to solicit donations for a court case because he had been caught with medical marijuana out of state. He ruined every thread with arguments and stupid comments about controversial topics like abortion. I left that group. I'm in another now that is meant solely for posting pics of what you eat and recipes - even that has been hard work recently after someone posted a pic of Israeli dates and sparked an argument about the Israel/Palestine conflict. I'm like, let's just talk about food, shall we?

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  • Kamila27
    Beginner April 2016
    Kamila27 ·
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    Oh, snow bride, I am so sorry to hear you had to meet a bunch of morons. Some people want everything easy, instant, the world revolving around them. They will reject anything that is not a fairy tale and since life has ups and downs they will, well I think they will deny their life is not or might be not perfect. That's why they reject people who remind them about it.

    Don't think about them, they are in worse situation they you are because you can recognise your problems and look for solutions (cheaper wedding? Compromising? Having to wait?) and they will just close their eyes until it's too late to act and they will be in deep s...t

    For me you can be as negative as you wish, maybe sharing your problems will actually help? Someone might have a good idea or just words of comfort or you will see your problems in a new perspective. So go on, talk here, share your worries, help us get wiser.

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  • GiraffeBride
    Beginner May 2018
    GiraffeBride ·
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    Oh snowbride that's terrible. Both that you're suffering such problems before your wedding, and that people were so awful to you about it! As previously mentioned, if you can't vent worries about a wedding on a wedding page then where can you?! What happened to compassion eh?! I'm sure the lovely Hitchers will do whatever they can to help, they are very good with suggestions!

    I occasionally lurk around UK Brides on facebook, and I'm always shocked at the tone some people have, SO negative and judgemental (with appalling spelling and lots of swearing but that's just me being a snob Smiley winking ) and I continually wonder why anyone bothers to post when they know they're going to face such rudeness! Some of the comments make you chuckle though, and there's the occasional helpful suggestion, hence why I keep going back!

    I hope all your problems work out, and that you find a supportive community with which to discuss your worries Smiley smile

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  • halloweeny
    Beginner October 2013
    halloweeny ·
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    Weirdies! come and play with us. They're boring anyway.

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  • snow bride
    Beginner June 2016
    snow bride ·
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    It's ok, I have now realised that they are a bunch of weirdo's Smiley laugh

    And you guys are most definitely more entertaining Smiley tongue

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  • AuntieBJ
    Beginner September 2014
    AuntieBJ ·
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    I was a member of a facebook bride group before I found hitched. I found hitched, left the FB group and never looked back!

    FB groups seem determined to make you feel worse than you did already - they're full of narcissists ?

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  • Chucklevision
    Beginner July 2015
    Chucklevision ·
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    Ha ha Schwelley & I admin a Fb page for July 2015 brides & we just kicked Tracey treasures off because she kept bloody advertising!!!

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  • E
    Beginner October 2015
    elvira-darkside ·
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    I doubt id post in a group where it is all hearts and glittery unicorn farts.

    of course its nice sometimes to see the lovely things - but it is also helpful and grounding to read the negatives too. i dont think my dark gothy little soul would mix well in the fb group either!

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  • Chucklevision
    Beginner July 2015
    Chucklevision ·
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    ? consider this phrase officially poached!!

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  • HelenSomerset
    Beginner September 2014
    HelenSomerset ·
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    Come to this thread a bit late - but how ridiculous!

    Marriage in general isn't all sweetness and light, it's about riding out the good times and bad times together. The wedding planning is just a part of that (albeit quite an intense part full of arguments about budgets and menu choices).

    I think the people in that Facebook group that banned you may get a shock when they realise the wedding isn't a Disney film spelling "happy ever after". Although generally married life has been great for me - even if sometimes I do want to kill him!

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  • MrsShep
    Beginner September 2014
    MrsShep ·
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    So true. For richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health. Even in your vows you acknowledge that it can't be wonderful all the time, but that's half the point, you've found someone you want by your side when the going gets rough, not just for the good times.

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