Being called 'the wife/mrs' when not married..

I think sometimes it's about getting respect and validating the relationship. Boyfriend can mean someone you've known less than a week. Partner means nothing outside business terms. In the run up to our wedding I did occasionally refer to OH as my husband, especially when dealing with utilities companies, mortgage companies etc etc. I'm not sure if he did the same, but I wouldn't have minded - to me it's proof that we DO see each other that way.

It's never bothered me tbh.

I don't really see it as them trying to pretend they're married - I think it's just a term of identification. My H would refer to all his mate's girlfriends as 'Tom's missus', 'Dave's missus' for example.

Never bothers me, not that he calls me it much but it wouldn't.

I'm often referred to as the bosses wife etc as I occupy that role at formal occasions even though we're not yet married.

I object far more to being called "the..." anything, regardless of whether married or not - it seems rather blokish and dismissive.

OH has always called me his missus, I don't mind. I don't think he has ever referred to me as 'the' anything though.

Nah, I quite liked it, H used to do this to me - in fact it was more his friends and my friends, but even so, it made me feel special, and that I was more than 'just' a girlfriend.

He says 'my other half' to people he isn't familiar with and uses my name otherwise.

I do the same or sometimes my fella if I am feeling cool and hip :-D haha

It doesn't bother me what I get called, sometimes it's just easier! on holiday one of the hotel staff said to me 'and one for your husband...?' and I just said yes. I presume he would do the same in the reverse situation.

On the other hand though my flatmate has unsucessfully tried to pick up a parcel for me from the post office for me, and when I went in the next day the lady said "Oh yes your husband was in yesterday looking for it" I was so confused but then just said yes too I don't want her not to give him a parcel in future! - so I'll be anyone's wife it would seem!

I use his surname when booking things like meals for both of us, but I also sometimes use it for things when it's just me, as my surname is terrible! My friend found this out and though it was terrible, just like calling someone wife/husband before they are I suppose!

I don't think my H ever called me 'the wife' before or after we were married.

I do get unnecessarily annoyed by a friend of mine who has been engaged for years and refers to her boyfriend as her husband. Not sure why it annoys me so much but it does!

I'd get annoyed with this too, suppose because she hasn't made the actual effort to get married she isn't allowed to use it! May sound hypocritical in light of what I said earlier, but I'm not engaged yet, and it's an occasional thing for me to use it. I don't see the point in overly long engagements!

I always saw it as "missus" as opposed to "Mrs" - i.e. just a lads way of saying the other half.

It really didn't bother me before and it didn't now. I really don't see my feminine independence threatened by being referred too as 'the mrs/missus'

An ex-boyfriend used to refer to me as "Mar Laydee" (say that in a really thick Stoke accent for full effect). Made me cringe. H calls me "Er Indoors", which is marginally better!

I'm in this camp. "The missus" has a different feel to it than "my missus"(IMO). Not that I like either. H never called me this before we were married and would say "my wife" now. Anything else and he knows he'd get The Look.

OH used to call me the Missus when we first got together which I didnt mind but I did say to him that he can't really call me that unless he marries me... So he started referring to me as his Julie. All of his friends now call me Julie.

This.

Although I would find it a bit odd if people who weren't actually married referred to each other as 'husband' and 'wife'. It wouldn't 'bother' me IYSWIM, people can do what they like, but I'd think it a little strange.

My aunty (dad's sister) calls my mum 'wifey' instead of her name... started out as just taking the pee (my mum isn't a 'housewifely' kind of woman) and it's stuck!

Duplicate

A guy I work with calls his partner 'her indoors' - I hate it. Mind you, I also can't stand him as he's one of the most annoying people I've ever met.

H got told about referring to me as 'the wife' or 'the missus' before I actually was his wife, but I do understand that it was just easier to describe me as that to people.. Actually still don't like it as it sounds a bit like he's calling me his possession

"missus" just seems normal to me. H will use it to refer to a brand new girlfriend or a wife when referring to his friends.

H's brother really annoys me when he calls his girlfriend his wife. They have been together for 6 years and have two children, but they are not married. Of course that's fine, but she is not your wife, why are you calling her that? He annoys me generally so perhaps this is just a disproportionate annoyance!

My H refers to me as "my wife" when talking about me. Although he has a professional job, where "the lads" don't banter about their Wife, it's all very respectful. Changes when he's home though ?

I refer to him as "My worst half".

I don't really mind being called 'the mrs' i think that term is just used for long term girlfriend, partner is too formal.

What does annoy me, is my BIL, he calls his girlfriend his wife. They have broken up more times than I can remember and I just find it really irritating. They have no intention of getting married and sometimes cant even stand to be in the same room as each other. Losers