Being 'given away' - but not by father of the bride

There are no rules! You can walk down the aisle on your own, with your fiance or with anyone else you like. Assuming you are not doing the traditional "who gives this woman..." bit, then I would just tell the priest to leave that out.

There's nothing else he 'has' to do. Some people get another family member to give a speech in place of the 'father of the bride' speech, but that's completely optional - and could be done by another person anyway, if you wanted someone from your side of the family to make a speech.

I am in a similar situation, having lost my Dad 5 years ago. It was the first question my Mum had when we announced our wedding and I'd known I would need to be ready with my plans when we told her as she was inventing her own worst case scenarios and getting quite wound up. Ultimately, I came up with 3 choices - 1 Mum giving me away, 2 My Godfather/Dad's best friend or 3 My Uncle who has been unable to have children. After tears from both Mum and I, I asked her to make the choice that she was most comfortable with. She has decided she wants to give me away but we are writing our own rules for the day. I didn't think she wanted to do a speech but she has recently been talking about it so will let her decide closer to the time. My 13 year old nephew/her grandson has been volunteered to do the escorting/ first dance duties and we are considering a sweetheart table for the wedding breakfast. Ultimately, you can choose who you want to give you away and write your own wedding rules. Enjoy your day and be confident in the choices you make.

My dad sadly passed away beginning of December 2023, 2 days after we got engaged. My brother will be travelling to the church with me and walking me down the aisle. He is also doing a speech! But no other duties for him!

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What you suggest with just him walking you down is fine, he doesn’t have to do anything else. I have seen many combos of persons walking down, brides son,brother, mum or you dont have to have anyone walk you down, or get your other half to come up and meet you half way.

And just a note, I am not sure about in Scotland but here in England they do not say "who gives this woman" -- they say "who brings this woman"

It's touching that your cousin is walking you down the aisle. It's natural to feel stumped! While traditional roles exist, it's okay to simplify expectations. Maybe just ask him to enjoy the moment—like playing Moto X3M , just fun and no pressure! Speak with your priest for guidance, and focus on making it a memorable day for both of you.

I have asked my sisters husband to give me away. My dad will be taking part for our wedding.

I totally understand wanting him to just enjoy the day after that. Maybe try framing it like this: He's primarily doing the honor of escorting you, a symbolic gesture of support and love. Perhaps you can suggest he wear something that complements the wedding party but doesn't necessarily mimic the traditional "father of the bride" attire. As for duties, maybe a short, heartfelt toast would be a nice touch if he's comfortable with public speaking. I've seen some fun, alternative bachelor party ideas recently. I saw one where everyone played crazy cattle 3d online, maybe you and your cousin can try playing games together to spend time together before the big day. Ultimately, clear communication is key!

A cousin stepping up is lovely, but all the extra baggage... not so much. What does tradition truly dictate anyway? Suddenly, aisle walking duties come with a handbook! I once had a similar "help" situation when organizing a surprise party. My friend insisted on handling everything – invitations, cake, decorations – and it morphed into a bizarre power struggle where I felt completely sidelined from celebrating my other friend! It became a real Block Breaker negotiation to gently steer things back on track without hurting feelings. Hope Janice finds her aisle peace!

That sounds like a really thoughtful choice, Janice. It’s lovely that your cousin will have that honor, and I don’t think he needs to take on all the traditional duties unless you want him to. Keep it simple and personal—just like a fun moment from Crazy Cattle 3D, where everyone has their own unique role to play! I’m sure your day will feel perfectly you.

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Nice and good