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Beginner October 2024 Central & Glasgow

Being 'given away' - but not by father of the bride

Janice, 29 of May of 2024 at 09:08 Posted on Etiquette and Advice 0 3

Hi there,

I have asked my cousin to walk me down the aisle as my Dad is no longer with us. Has anyone else had another family member walk them down the aisle, and did that person have to fulfil traditional father of the bride duties? My cousin has asked me a load of questions about what he should be doing, what he should wear etc. I'm stumped! I'm going to speak with the priest marrying us, but I honestly just wanted him to walk me down the aisle, and then enjoy the rest of the day, without expecting anything else from him. Does anybody have any similar experiences and how did it pan out for you on the day?

Thank you,


3 replies

Latest activity by Katy, 2 of June of 2024 at 09:37
  • R
    VIP July 2020 Monmouthshire
    RomanticGreenStationery27135 ·
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    There are no rules! You can walk down the aisle on your own, with your fiance or with anyone else you like. Assuming you are not doing the traditional "who gives this woman..." bit, then I would just tell the priest to leave that out.

    There's nothing else he 'has' to do. Some people get another family member to give a speech in place of the 'father of the bride' speech, but that's completely optional - and could be done by another person anyway, if you wanted someone from your side of the family to make a speech.

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  • K
    Beginner April 2025 Surrey
    Kelly ·
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    I am in a similar situation, having lost my Dad 5 years ago. It was the first question my Mum had when we announced our wedding and I'd known I would need to be ready with my plans when we told her as she was inventing her own worst case scenarios and getting quite wound up. Ultimately, I came up with 3 choices - 1 Mum giving me away, 2 My Godfather/Dad's best friend or 3 My Uncle who has been unable to have children. After tears from both Mum and I, I asked her to make the choice that she was most comfortable with. She has decided she wants to give me away but we are writing our own rules for the day. I didn't think she wanted to do a speech but she has recently been talking about it so will let her decide closer to the time. My 13 year old nephew/her grandson has been volunteered to do the escorting/ first dance duties and we are considering a sweetheart table for the wedding breakfast. Ultimately, you can choose who you want to give you away and write your own wedding rules. Enjoy your day and be confident in the choices you make.
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  • Katy
    Beginner September 2024 Surrey
    Katy ·
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    My dad sadly passed away beginning of December 2023, 2 days after we got engaged. My brother will be travelling to the church with me and walking me down the aisle. He is also doing a speech! But no other duties for him!

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