Being referred to as the wrong name

It is disrespectful. I mean in the majority of cases it's probably honest mistakes, but people need to pay attention to these things! Insist your work logins are re-set and correct people when they use your old name - politely but firmly. It doesn't matter why you changed your name, you have the right to be addressed in the way you request.

I think you need to breathe hun. You've been Miss H for a long time and it takes a while for people to get used to it, also a lot of people don't change their names these days and people don't want to cause offence by assuming. Rather than get upset about it, turn it on it's head and treat it as a laugh and people will get the message. When someone calls you Miss H, laugh it off and say - oh that was then - it's Mrs C now dontcha know! As for the name plate - just get whoever orders them to order one for you.

Updating systems can be more problematic and you need to allow a reasonable amount of time for it to filter through to whoever makes the changes. If a reasonable amount of time has elapsed then send them a reminder.

Don't get wound up, no one is doing this on purpose, it's just how things are and it's like before you were married - your wedding was the most important thing to you then and it still is now - it's just not true for others that's all.

x

Yeah, Pammy is right. Don't get too wound up. I think I got wound up on your behalf there for a minute, which helps nobody

It took my IT guy weeks to sort out changing my name on our system because there were other far more important things to do.

I had to order my own door plaque.

It's just not as important to other people as it is to you.

I'm still not sure when I refer to myself! I've updated my name on half my things but not others (pure laziness). Had to pick up an Ebay parcel the other day which proved interesting as I hadn't updated Ebay so parcel was in my maiden name but I had updated my driving licence to married name already. Doh!

Completely agree with Pammy.

You need to remember that people will have known you as your maiden name for much longer than your married name so some people might say it as a slip of the tongue.

Where I work there's still a system with my maiden name on and I couldn't care less. It doesn't bother me.

The only time it has annoyed me was when someone who used to be a very good friend of mine who I fell out with literally a few weeks before my wedding (and therefore knew I was getting married) sent me something in the post which I'd asked her to send and she addressed it to my maiden name. Knowing her it wouldn't have been a mistake, she would have deliberately done it as her nose had been out out of joint by being uninvited to the wedding due to her behaviour.

As I've just started a new job, I've actually gone quite radical and changed my name early, so that all the introductions to people, my email, business cards etc can all be done in my married name.

It's a bit weird, as nothing else has changed - we were interviewing today and I automatically used my maiden name when saying hello, it's a habitual thing so I don't think you can hold other people to account for accidentally slipping up.

That said, if you see them every day and they're still doing it in 6 months, then you might want to go a little crazy...

I am worrying the other way round. My H2B (and I) have both been married before. I do not want to be Mrs C and he does not want me to be either. She was the selfish miserable old bat he divorced so why would I want her name. SO we have decided I will keep my name. I just do not want people to start referring to me as Mrs C or even calling us Mr and Mrs C. He will remain Mr C and I will be Mrs G.

I can imagine it is annoying but it will take some people a while to get used to it. To be honest l even struggle with good friends as l have known them by their maiden name for so long.

For some reason people always get my name wrong where l work -Lauren or Sarah. I have been mistaken for a Lauren in previous work places as well!

Erin, that made me laugh, and chill out at the same time!

I didn't change my name, and odd as it sounds some people have taken a while to get used to that (i started a thread about it but it unintentionally turned into a should you/shouldnt you debate). Anyway, we're a couple of months in and most people have got the hang of it, except my boss who keeps mentioning it, it was starting to annoy me, but Erin just reminded me that he uses me and my co workers first names completely interchangeably, and he is a sweet guy so he probably means no harm by it!

I had a college tutor who insisted I looked like a Katie. I really don't.

One of my colleagues called me Megan once which was the name of his cat! I was not amused ?

I have changed some things over and not others (part laziness and partly because I'm keeping my maiden name for work) and have managed to sign the wrong name in various circumstances a few times now.

I teach a lot of elderly people in my main job (teaching dance in adult ed) and lots of them think my name is Emily instead of Emma so I just answer to Emily now, it's easier.

My maiden name is Weir and back in the day when I used to work in an office I used to get faxes addressed to Mrs Weird, Mrs Wheel and all sorts! In fact, one of the places I teach put my name as Emma Weird on a poster only a few months ago - they say it was a typo but I'm not sure...!

Haha! It really grates me that OH's ex wife still calls herself by his name, and I really don't want the same name as her, but we have nothing to do with her so I am trying to ignore it.

I have changed back to my maiden name and I'm constantly being called my married name... That's more annoying because it reminds me of the fact I took his name and he f**ked me over.

My friend is a t-shirt designer and she made me a hoody with Mrs C emblazoned in gold across the front. It has worked wonders this week while people are getting used to my name change (me included!)

x

Maybe I should get one of those for H2B, I'm sure he'd love it

I can PM you her email address if you'd like! Mine is gorgeous. She also made a gaming t-shirt for my hubby (love that word) which says Acheivement Unlocked: Got Married.

x

I wish I had seen one of those before we got married, would have loved to have got hubby one of those!

tbh work seem to have got used to my new name a lot quicker than I have! I have to write my name a lot at work, and the amount of times i've started to write my maiden name is ridiculous! It's just habit.

work have actually been great with me, i'm now the only Mrs S,I was a bit worried about talking the name because H's mum (who we work with but don't talk to) was still Mrs S, but she changed back to her maiden name a couple of weeks before our wedding. Pissed me off at the time but now i'm glad as the name is mine and my hubbys and nothing to do with her!

I've been married for 3 and a half years now and there's one specific woman at work that still emails my maiden name address (they get redirected to me). Drives me insane!

I would just start ignoring her emails. If she brings it up, tell her you're not getting the emails, and ask if she's emailing the right name. In her defence though, our email system automatically puts the name in if you've emailed them before (my boss mentioned his was doing that the other day) so that's probably what she's doing.

Panj - I got IT to delete my maiden name account after 2 years. Was driving me mad.

So far the only time anyone has got my name wrong was when I was collecting my son's prescription. As there was no way the chemist could know, it was easily forgiven!!

however, when I sign my son's reading book for school, I keep signing RJP!! My full signature I have to do slowly in order to make sure it's right but I can't seem to get it all with just the initials.

I sign my initials lots at work and I've just kept them the same. Even though I was very keen to change things work related to my married name, I just don't like my new initials for some reason, even though they don't spell out anything odd!

I think because I had a double barrelled maiden name, I was used to people calling me [first name] [initial][initial] far more often than people would call me by my full maiden name, so I don't like to lose it!

I got married to my first husband in 2009 and the IT department managed to changed my name and email on 'the system' this September. I divorced him three years ago and now have a new name- God knows how long that'll take to change! It's hideous!