Best friend refusing to come to my wedding

Sorry to hear about this, such an awful situation to be in! I dont think your friend can force you to choose between her and your husband to be, but if she has been a shoulder to cry on during your relationship troubles, then she may have her own reasons for not wanting to attend the wedding. Aside from the wedding/marriage, does she still want to continue the friendship?

She obviously has her reasons for disliking him but then YOU are her friend, you are best friends and in my opinion she should be there for you. It's not fair of her to say that it will last a year, is she married or with someone? Could it be jealously? X

I think you need to say to her that you are really sad that she cannot support you at this time but that if she really feels that way, then you will just have to get married without her. She is trying to use emotional blackmail to stop you from marrying your OH and that isn't fair.

Only you can decide between them and yes, I do think it comes down to that, but you don't have to make a final choice - tell her that you are now and always will be her best friend and that you would much rather have her by your side, but that the wedding is going ahead regardless. Then allow her to make her choice and accept it either way.

You say she's refusing to be your MOH, but has she actually said she's refusing to come to the wedding at all?

I think you need to talk this through with her with you both staying calm. I have friends in a similar situation to your best friend. They haven't said anything to him, but they've confided to me that they feel that it would be hypocritical of them to turn up to what they think is their friend making the biggest mistake of his life. They aren't sure whether to go, to support their friend, and plaster fake smiles on their faces, or to tell their friend how they feel and stay away from the wedding. It's a slightly different scenario to yours - I don't know the couple particularly well personally, but I understand there may have been abuse involved - but I've seen first-hand how conflicted people in that situation can feel.