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Beginner June 2015

best man crisis

excited bride2015, 8 June, 2015 at 17:31 Posted on Planning 0 10

So less than 2 weeks to go and my OH has fallen out with his best man.

Was the stag do at the wknd. The best did not organise in fact i did it in the end, so my OH didn't know until he hadn't. He obviously found out at the weekend and was a bit unhappy.

They were have a morning doing activities, a afternoon in a couple of pubs and evening at a comedy club. Best man turned up on time in the morning, but announced he was knackered having been out all night the night before.

They did activities, best man went home to shower and then failed to turn up until about 8.30pm, a she fell asleep. He then went home at 11pm.

On top of this he tried to invite his mate who OH has only met once, hasn't yet booked a hotel room, and now will have to stay else where, and just doesn't appear to care at all.

OH is fuming and has said he no longer wants him at the wedding. Said i asked him to be best man as i treasure his friendship, he doesn't feel the same.

what do we do.

i am going to try and encourage them to talk later this week when hopefully tempers have calmed a little, i really don't want this dragging over the wedding. If OH really doesn't want him there, he needs to tell him.

10 replies

Latest activity by soontobeMrsDavey, 9 June, 2015 at 12:47
  • AuntieBJ
    Beginner September 2014
    AuntieBJ ·
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    I think your first instincts are right - let them both calm down a bit.

    My H has a bit of a temper and would have reacted in exactly the same way, but three days later he has usually got over stuff like that. He regularly gets ratty with his best mate, who was also his best man, but nothing ever comes of it and they are best friends again very quickly.

    Let your OH deal with it in his own way, and as for the friend - ignore it. He either won't turn up or he'll find himself somewhere to sleep - not your concern.

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  • M
    Beginner February 2016
    MrsF2B! ·
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    I'm confused, did you ask him to be best man, or did your OH?

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  • Paula @ Ollievision
    Paula @ Ollievision ·
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    I think they need to sit down and have a talk about it. These are not massive issues and it would be a shame to lose each other's friendship over it.

    My friend's best man started a fight on his stag do, beat him up and shaved his head. My friend was admitted to hospital and was completely bald at his wedding a week later. They never spoke again.

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  • E
    Beginner June 2015
    excited bride2015 ·
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    Wow Paula, that is bad!!

    The best man messaged me yesterday and i have told him OH is upset at lack of effort on his part. He didn't bother to reply.

    I have told OH to sort one way or another this week, so it doesn't over spill to wedding

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  • bliss_balloons
    bliss_balloons ·
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    If my oh's best man behaved like that at his stag then I don't think he'd still be the best man, especially as he hasn't even apologised.

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  • E
    Beginner June 2015
    excited bride2015 ·
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    Bliss, that's how i feel. He has been a let down from the start.

    Gotta hurt though that some one you thought enough of to ask to be your best man has clearly shown he actually isn't bothered about you.

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  • halloweeny
    Beginner October 2013
    halloweeny ·
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    Oh dear! that's not very nice of the BM.

    They must have been very close if OH asked him to organise. Did he organise things for people before? Maybe he's feeling overwhelmed?

    I'm sorry this has happened so close to your wedding. I hope they can make it work.

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  • E
    Beginner June 2015
    excited bride2015 ·
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    They have been friends for 15 years.

    he can oraginse things has done it before, but just had no interest. When time was getting on i offered to help him, and deal with the friends he didn't know. Still nothing happened.

    Very tempted to to message him and ask if he is still coming to wedding, but need to stay out of it really

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  • halloweeny
    Beginner October 2013
    halloweeny ·
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    This is very strange... Is he married? maybe he's worried your OH is not going to be as available as he used to be once your married? Boys can be silly i guess...

    I would stay out of it to be honest. I think it's best of OH and BM have a chat about it themselves. OH doesn't need a BM so if it doesn't work out it's not the end of the world.

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  • E
    Beginner June 2015
    excited bride2015 ·
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    You may have a point there, he is not married, or in a relationship, but they have never really been big drinking buddies. My OH hates pubs!

    Will sit on my hands and stay out of it.

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  • S
    Beginner May 2015
    soontobeMrsDavey ·
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    So it's not just girls / women that do this sort of thing then??!!!

    I ended up ditching 2 of my BM's as a result of their behaviour at my Hen Do.

    Only speaking from experience - go with your gut instincts - if their friendship is meant to be then it will...... all I can say is that our Wedding Day was THE BESTEST EVER!! - and I didn't take a backwards glance and didn't miss them at all on my Day

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