'Best Man' is proving to be a bit useless

Well the stag do is certainly a bit naff! If they can't arrange something beforehand why would they do it afterwards. I would be tempted to say OK I'm off for my stay do with old friends brother and if you don't want to come then don't. I don't see why he should miss out just because the best man doesn't want to go quite honestly. Or what about organising a night out with some work colleagues?

Weddings can be stressful so it's never a pp if getting something off your chest helps to make you feel a bit better xx

I don't know if it helps, but my Step-Dad arranged his own Stag Do.

I suggest h2b does this my BMs are arranging a surprise Hen for me and I'm honestly bricking it! H2B hasn't even picked his guys yet, so I really think at this point his stag will be a few pints down the pub - he's so laid back about it!

Otherwise, you could always have a word with the brother? Maybe a compromise could be reached?

xx

It's a bit off about the stag do. I'd suggest he just arrange it himself and if the best man doesn't want to go then he doesn't, or he books a room somewhere. I've chosen my hen do, though my bridesmaids aren't letting me know the finer details.

I would say that even the most confidant person can feel nervous about speaking in front of a large group of people, and people put a large amount of emphasis on the best man's speech (at least in my family) so I imagine it is quite nerve-wracking even if your confidant usually.

I dont think its anyone else job to organise your parties so really you fiance should sort his own stag... its a bit naff if BM doesnt want to go but you cant force him so just go without him

also the reading thing is rediculous, lots of people are loud and outgoing personalities its normally a mask for deep insecurity and most people I know like this are TERRIBLE with public speaking, nerves or focus based talking/listening (like interviews) and honestly a reading/speech is a horrificly nerve racking thing to do... your ALREADY asking a lot making him write and stand to do a speech but asking him to do it TWICE ?

Isn't organising the Stag essentially the CORE responsibility of the BM? Also (to my mind) if said BM didn't want to be a centre of attention then he probably should not have accepted the honour of being the 3rd most vital person on the day,

Sorry but it sounds to me like Best Man needs a kick up the arse and a reminder that he has accepted a job that comes with responsibilities!

OH was pretty much forces to have him as his BM - I honestly think he wouldn't have bothered with a BM otherwise.

In all fairness, my H2B isn't bothered by any of this - so I'm not going to say anything. I just feel so disappointed for him.

Can you contact one of his friends and organise a get together for him. Yu could say I know he was looking forward to seeing you all and n idea why he brother is so against it but can we organise something. If for whatever reason it's no then he doesn't have to know. ?

I have a similar problem. There are 2x best men and I thought it would be easy as they are both our brothers but both of them are rubbish even though we have said we will have a joint stag do to keep things simple. With 4.5 months to go and it coming into holiday season I can't see anything getting sorted now. I did my brothers without too much fuss, I just needed him to invite the people I didn't know who he wanted to come and that was it - I did the rest. I guess I won't have one now which is a bit naff but hey ho