Best man problems

What does your H2B feel about the situation?

H2B is really angry at the moment but I'm pretty sure he will let it go. He has a cousin who he is close to and would be a good best man but I don't know how i would persuade H2B to change, he hates making a fuss. We are already inviting this guy's parents as we are hoping that might mean he isnt too offensive in the speeches. I feel really bad for H2B that his friend is treating him so badly and I want to be supportive so telling him i want this guy out of the wedding seems to be the opposite of that! I'm driving myself crazy and even thinking about threatening to tell this guys fiance (who will then be his wife) some of the awful things he has done if he doesnt behave which is not like me at all (and i actually wouldnt do because the last thing i want to do is ruin things for someone else)! I know i really need to be talking to H2B about this but i think i'm too angry right now to have a rational conversation!

I don't want to judge everyone by my experiences but a friend kinda had this issue.. the stag do was all fine and the groom had the speech convo with him so he thought everything would be fine but unfortunately it wasn't. The BM speech was so shocking and horrible about the bride she was moments away from tears and now the groom and BM haven't spoken since and never will. I can honestly said looking back she should really of put her foot down. She wasn't happy about the grooms choice of BM but felt it wasn't her choice... He totally ruined their wedding and honeymoon as she couldn't get it out of her head!

I totally agree with lynnie-p you do need to sit down with the BM and lay some ground rules and just hope he sticks to them! I don't want you to tell the groom to get rid of him as its really not the brides choice but speak to the groom and see how he would feel talking to the BM or maybe if there we two BM's??

Hopefully you won't have the above issue but my friend would have a serious talk to the BM if she could repeat the weddings.

Good luck and keep us posted x

At the very least, it sounds like you need to sit down and talk to your h2b about your concerns and just see if maybe he is feeling the same but worried about making a fuss. If you approach this together, you'll find it much easier to deal with.

So has this guy left your h2b stranded abroad then??! I would be furious and wouldn't hesitate to insist that he wasn't to be a part of my wedding.

Thanks for the support ladies.

Yup H2B and two others stuck. Have just had to pay for a further night's accomodation and flight tomorrow for H2B and another friend who literally has no access to money (and the "friend" knew this as he persuaded him to spend his last pennies on the stag do!) Thanks for the advice re having a chat to this guy, it wont be easy but better than avoiding it and regretting it guess. At the end of the day i'm marrying the guy who i think is the best man and I know would NEVER treat someone like this so lucky me!

Sounds like your H2B needs to have a serious chat with his BM and lay down some ground rules.

You hint at family problems with the BM, and perhaps that effecting his judgement, but making him clearly aware of his problems should relax you.

Perhaps get him over for an evening with his B2B, ie curry and a few drinks? Some guys like to play up, but he may be a different person away from what he wants his public appearance to be?

Jason