big gap between wedding breakfast and evening do

Panic not A few thoughts for you.

1) Are most of your guests local? If so, they will probably just head home and chill for a little while, maybe getting changed for your evening party.

2) If guests are travelling and staying over, they can use that time to check into their rooms and freshen up, as often you can't get into hotel rooms till mid afternoon anyway.

3) Can you bring the evening reception start time forward in any way?

4) Would your budget stretch to something like, say, hiring a Routemaster bus and taking people for a trip out (this works best if people are travelling some distance) perhaps to a local beauty spot or something for more photos?

5) Could you organise some 'canapes and drinks' for the gap and just let people mingle?

6) Can you add some entertainment, say a magician, impersonator or charicaturist to your afternoon session and extend the time a bit, then bring forward your evening to say 6pm?

7) 3pm is not too late for a ceremony assuming your reception venue is happy - ours stipulated the wb must start at 4pm at the latest so it wasn't practical for us (we picked 1.30pm)

What date are you getting married? Is changing the date an option to get a time you feel happier about?

One thing that does cross my mind is that I don't understand the insistance that so many people have about entertaining guests for the entire duration - surely as fully grown adults they're perfectly capable of looking after themselves for a couple of hours, and if the bar is open (don't feel you have to have an open free bar all day - it's wasted money IMO) then the time will soon go by.

We're getting married at 330. and the wedding breakfast is at 530.

This means we only have to feed our guests the once (too full for an evening buffet) and everyone has plenty of time to get ready and arrive at the location.

We are getting married at 3. I don't think it's too late. Our venue finishes at 1am though so we have time to play with if we go over on anything.

I preferred the later time as I could (in theory) have a lay in and have more time in the morning. Plus it gives guests the chance to have a big brunch etc before they set out.

Were gettin wed @ 11.30, then wb meal at around 2.30-3ish then evening do at 7pm - but i do have a magician booked for an hour after the meal

We're getting married at 12noon too. I was bothered about our big gaps during the day, but all of our guests have to travel so they're going to wander off and book into their B&Bs, some of the older guests are going to take a nap etc. I think it will be nice for me and OH to be able to mingle with all the guests without the noise of the Disco going on.

Here's our "outline" for the day if that helps you:

12.00 – Start of Ceremony
12.30 – End of Ceremony
12.30 – 2.00 Photographs, Canapés and After Ceremony Drinks
2.00 – Speeches
2.45 – Wedding Breakfast starts
4.45 – Coffee in Bar
7.30 – Disco
9.00 – Evening Buffet

I agree with the others - 3pm is not too late to start and it is a good way to save money on the evening buffet (we are doing the same thing of one big meal with maybe cake and West Indian patties as a cheap filler for the evening guests - and a nod to my OH's WI roots). I don't know how big your bridal party is but getting everyone ready for 12 may be very tight and you'll find you have to be up very very early or having a mad rush. To give you an idea, I was a bridesmaid for a wedding that started at 1pm and for the 3 BM's, bride, mother of the bride to all get hair and makeup we were at the hairdressers at about 7.30 and we weren't the only ones in there! And we didn't really stop all morning except for a croissant which the brides mum insisted we eat so we didn't keel over

I think its more a case of thinking about what people do. your timings are not uncommon, If there is a bar area then you will find family members will quite happily sit and chat for a while. some may go off and refresh, others will take a walk around any grounds.

You should generally allow 2 hours for the meal and speaches. then 30 mins for people to get them selves organised, drink tea or coffee and leave the room (if your wed breakfast is in the same room as your evening do.)

That will generally leave 2 hours before your evening. what about finding some games - Lawn games, treasure hunt maybe with a prize at the end, see if your photographer will take individual family and couple shots after the meal, get some musical entertainment (singer or someone who can play an instrument) etc...

Another suggestion is to see if you can push your meal back by 30 mins. this will give you more time for pics, and to talk to your guests.

I cant bring the evening do forward as they dont start til 7 cant change the d ate of wedding as that would cost more money, the venue says we have to have food in evening we have no choice. Im so stressed feel like crying!!! Just dont know what to do!!!

Does anyone know of any good kids entertainers/magicians in the lancashire area who cater for weddings?

Dont worry bout it, they'll probably wonder off to check in. Besides meal start time always gets delayed and you should allow about 2 and a half hours for meal, so you'd be looking at 5.30 before you've maybe finished meal, this is only one and a half hours! Have you though bout a casino table or a close-up magician or a caricaturist? x

Don't stress about it, it's not worth it ?

People can occupy themselves, you can use this gap to mingle.

We are having a quiz after our meal (not because we are worried about the gap, but cos we love pub quizzes) and having a bouncy castle to keep the kids occupied (IMO better value than magician, castle costs £50 incl set up charge and we have it all day).

Sit down, have a cup of tea, relax. In that order. Then when you've finished your cup of tea, come back to this discussion.

We all hit moments of mad panic in wedding planning because, in all but a few cases, we've never done anything like this and have no idea where to start - but Hitched is a great resource because almost everyone else will have been in your position at some time or another during their planning.

What date are you getting married?

Lisa, honestly, I really think you're worrying about nothing.

We're DELIBERATELY having a break as long as yours so people can: chat, drink more coffee, nap, put their kids down for a nap, have a walk, go for a smoke, make phonecalls - all the things you don't get time for usually.

We 're providing board games and coffee in that time, which will be plenty to keep them happy if they're not keeping themselves happy.

Chill out. Your timings are fine. Guests do not need to be entertained every second.

Saturday 6th august its only 6 weeks this saturday. It doesnt help when htb keeps telling me told you we should have gone for 3 o clock!!! THink he is stressing me out more. I wanted it for 12 as i have paid a lot for my dress and want to wear it as long as possible, and its a massive day so wanted to enjoy it as much as i could as the day goes fast enough as it is. if we got married at 3 half the day has gone!!!!

Six weeks? Eep!

What have you still got left to do? I wonder if this is more "the straw that broke the camel's back" if you have loads outstanding?

I've been to weddings where there is a gap - sometimes there were facilities for poeple to sit and relax, sometimes not. It's not your job to keep your guests amused the whole time though. I went to one wedding where I was invited to the ceremony, the wedding party then went off for a meal without the rest of the guests and we all reconvened for an evening reception in the evening - about 5 hours gap.

If guests are staying over night that is the time for them to check in at the hotel, or go for a walk. Have you looked at local attractions? Is there a pub or bar where they could hang out for a bit? Are guests close enough to go home and chill for a bit? I really think you're fretting over sometheing thats not really your problem - people will amuise themselves.

Is there anyway you can have canapes and drinks for a few hours after the ceremony, with a magician, string quartet, caricaturist or something, and then sit down to eat at about 4.30ish? It would up the costs considerably I'd imagine, but if you are that worried about it it might be worth it. If you ate at 4.30pm then you wouldn't be finished with speeches etc until about 6.30pm-7pm anyway.

We are getting married at 2.30pm as I actually wanted to keep the day a bit more compact for my guests (my wedding day will start as soon as I get up for me!), my wedding planner said that it can often be tempting to try to get the 'most' out of the venue which can leave the day feeling a bit long - basically just because I've paid £5k just to hire the place doesn't mean my guests want to stand and admire it for hours! Anyway, we chose 2.30pm as then we will have a drinks reception with canapes and a string quartet from 3pm until 5pm when we will sit down for the meal and speeches, probably with the evening guests arriving at 7pm-7.30pm I would think.

I don't think there's anything wrong with a big gap, but you have to provide food and water and possibly entertainment really I'd say...what about having tea, coffee and cakes and sandwiches, like an afternoon tea type thing? If your venue has lots of seating for people this will be a really nice relaxing section of the day.

I think it is a good idea to have a long gap like the others have said it gives people time to freshen up for the evening disco and breaks the day up a it. Or you could bring the disco forward to 6.30pm don't think thats to early...

Everything has been left til last minute as the finances have been extremely tight so i feel like i am panicking more than normal!!! Its finally getting paid off on friday!! He is more worried about the big gap as his grandma is 88 and thinkin she may get tired or even bored!! It may sound selfish but i just want to get the most out of my wedding day as i have waited 12 years to marry him!

Well then, why not plan something with his grandma in the gap. Maybe spend some time the two of you with her, or have special set of pics done with her, take her on a walk, something?

If people can't entertain themselves for two hours, then why are you only having children at your wedding? ? Most weddings I've been to I've wanted there to be a gap, or enjoyed it when it's there - too many planned events get pretty tiring.

Don;t panic KLisa, honestly, your timings are fine and almost iddentical to mine, my evebning guests atre goming at 7.30 and we'll have the wedding breakfast at 2.30.

The day will go so fast you won't even notice and as long as the bar is open people are more than happy to amuse themselves for a few hourrs and would probably appreciate the time to relax after a big meal

Deep breath, chin up and stop worrying

You'll probably be glad of the big gap on the day as it will give you more time to get round people and have a chat. Your guests will probably enjoy the time to chat just as much! Of the weddings I've been to, the days I've enjoyed most have been the relaxed ones where things aren't rushed to fit to a timetable - and the day passes so quickly anyway that an hour feels like about 10 minutes! Don't worry at all.

I agree with all the replies on here, the gaps and timings are absolutely fine. In fact I actually think it's really nice to have an hour or so of "down time" during the day so people can freshen up, take kids for a walk, have a coffee and mingle with other guests they haven't seen in a while etc. Just make sure there are plenty of non-alcoholic drinks going round and some background music on and job's a goodun.

I actually think it was a really nice suggestion on here earlier that if you're worried about Grandma coping with the whole day then use that bit of time to chat to her, have some pics taken etc then if she wants to leave when all the evening guests arrive and the noisy music starts then she'll know she has still spent most of your wedding day there.

Is there anywhere at the venue you can set up lawn games, thats what we did to pass the time, kept the kids busy too

Thank you so much for all your advice on here girls, its nice to chat to others and listen to their experiences. Advice about grandma was lovely thank you so much!!! Think i need a chill pill before i crack up!!! My problem is i try to make everyone happy!!

We got married at 12.30pm, WB was 3.30pm and evening guests did not arrive until 7.00pm.

DO NOT WORRY - you do not need to fill time, what looks like a massive gap on paper will be naturally filled by chatting, laughing, mingling... general celebration of the day.

I actually wish we had left more time between photos and the WB... I was enjoying my chats and champers when we were ushered into dinner!!!

You can't do that! We are the same and ended up inviting waaaaay too many people. If I could go back in time, I would have invited 20 fewer people.

We wanted our Ceremony at 12, but they could only offer 12.30, so we had wanted our timings exactly like yours! Speeches and meal will take a fair chunk of that timing up. In the 2-3hour gap at our Wedding, guests can go and check into hotels, play on the bouncy castle and garden games and just mingle, OH and I will be having photos taken.

I went to a Wedding last year and the timings were similar and everyone liked the fact they didnt have to do anything, they liked the fact they could just relax, drink and chat! Some went to check into the hotel and even went for a swim!

I personally wouldnt worry about it. Bx

Lisa, I have the same gap as you and I'm not worried at all. The adults can sort themselves. I am planning on entertaining the children as I have a lot at my day do. But even that I just plan to put a big tub off washable pens on a empty table and let them draw, and blow about 50 quid on some generic toys for them all to play with. I'm also looking at hiring some giant Lego from a company in Preston which I think will entertain the adults as well!! Just waiting for a quote for that at the moment As others have said, think this may be the last thing that sends you all into a panic, every bride get this. It will be interesting to see which little things set me off in the end haha. Relax and enjoy:-)

(I might just steal that board game idea though!!)

That is pretty much the same as what we are doing.

We are getting married in a church at 3:30...

So photos will be started to be done around 4:30 and should take around half an hour or so ...

The reception venue is about 20 mins away...

So by the time we expect to arrive at the venue it won't be til 5:30...

Then people can have an arrival drink and mingle until sitting down at 6 / 6:30ish

We have the following schedule (all in 1 venue):

1pm Civil Ceremony

1.30 reception with sparkling wine, receiving line

3pm cake and afternoon tea in the garden

(musician, chess on the lawn, croquet, chatting, photos, balloons, games...)

4-5pm either taking guests on a punting/boat tour, or letting them freshen up in hotel (depends on prices for boats), or organizing a guided tour through Cambridge

6pm Breakfast (dinner)

8pm-11.45pm Dancing and evening bar (partially covered)

We took 1pm because it was the only appointment the registrar had to offer. We just hope that the guests will enjoy a beautiful afternoon with us. We're also telling them to have a light lunch before it all starts because the cake is only at 3pm.

Maybe that helps, good luck!

Anja