Black Tie Wedding

I am sure Helenia will come along and offer her significant expertise on this. Be prepared.

Black tie is evening wear, so shouldn't be worn before 6 pm/dark. I think it's quite out of place at a noon wedding.

How would I feel about seeing "black tie" on an invitation? Hmmm, I generally don't like seeing any dress code on a wedding invitation - it places an obligation on your guests that might be difficult for them to meet, as well as sounding very dictatorial. I'd probably inwardly groan if I'm honest. The incorrect application of an evening dress code, the hassle/financial cost of finding a suit, and so on.

Could you make your evening black tie?

I will get prepared!

I did suggest evening only for OH but he thought that was more of an ask of our guests, especially to the ones only coming to the evening do!

I think maybe the bridal party could all change to black tie in the evening? And then optional for guests.

Otherwise the groomsmen will just have to play james bond on the stag do instead ?

Personally I'd have no problem with a black tie dress code. I love having an occasion to get all dressed up and I know plenty of others that are the same.

It may not be everyone's cup of tea but if they're good friends then they'll make the effort - most of them would probably be buying a new outfit anyway

I'd say 75% of our day guests would be fine with it and the other 25% would be 'persuaded' to be fine with it by their OH's.

I'm now more concerned of everyone looking silly coming to the church at 11:30am in dinner jackets.

I would make it optional and make it all day so no one has to get changed. Some evening guests probably won't bother but i'd imagine most of the day guest would. Personally i'd love to get an invite to a black tie wedding.

Have to say, I would be another inwardly groaning guest! I would make the effort but if you didn't have the finances to cover hiring or buying something new, having to either make do or be the only person not wearing black tie could possibly be a little mortifying. Be prepared for lots of phone calls asking if they 'have' to wear it or if they can not bother x

I love the idea of a Black tie wedding but I think I would feel a little out of place in an evening gown at 11.30am in a church.

I guess you know your guests best and how much they like to dress up!

x

I went to a wedding earlier this year where the dress code was black tie. 90% of the guests adhered to the request. We also had a black tie event for our 10th wedding anniversary party in August and lots of our guests said how nice it was to get dressed up!

This is the equivalent of black tie, but for daytime wear.

I have to agree I would find it quite strange for a day time event. But it would be perfect for a last afternoon wedding in winter.

I have been to a black tie wedding but it was an evening wedding (probably only 5pm so we stretched the rules a little). It was lovely but I wore a dress I already owned. I would feel very out of place at 11:30am as it should be day dress then. I would do it to please my friend if this was their choice but I would moan a lot about it TBH. I think you should have it as an evening dress code as it is evening attire.

I would hate this. It would just make me (and mrmini) feel like plonkers all dressed up at 11am in black tie.

im with your parents. It's too early.

It is too early. Black tie is for after 6. Morning dress is before 6. It's quite clear. I would ignore such request, tbh.

To be honest I think it's a bit cheeky. As a guest you already pay a lot for accommodation, travel and a gift. Now you're expecting them to fork out for an outfit too. I have plenty of dresses suitable for a wedding, expecting me to them go out and pay for another dress, well I'd be annoyed. It should be my choice. How do you know your guests can afford it? And I agree, it's too early. I'd feel a bit idiotic.

This. It would look all wrong and could easily make some of your guests feel extremely awkward.

It's just not right. Two major reasons: -

Firstly, black tie is evening wear. It shouldn't really be worn before 6pm. Strictly speaking, black tie is the evening equivalent of a lounge suit, and white tie is the same for a morning suit. It is not "more glamorous" or posher to wear this at a daytime wedding instead of lounge suits or morning dress, it's just incorrect, and makes you look like you are trying to be posh without really knowing how. I know in America it's quite popular for the men in the bridal party to wear black tie, but that's because a)it's much more common to get married in the evening there, and b)it's America, they don't follow our rules.

Secondly, it's a major inconvenience for your guests. Most men do not own a dinner suit, so they would have to go out and buy/hire one. For women, it's a bit of a dress code minefield because "black tie" can mean cocktail dresses are ok, and can mean that floor length ballgowns are required - how would you know for a wedding? If it's the less formal option, I wouldn't need to buy a new dress, but for the latter I would, and those sorts of gowns don't come cheap!

If I received an invitation with a dress code like this, I'd still go, probably wearing some kind of knee length cocktail dress. My husband is even more of a stickler for dress codes than I am (he insisted that the male side of our bridal party changed into black tie for our evening reception, though they all owned it anyway so didn't add any expense) and he would not comply. He'd probably still come but he would wear a lounge suit for the daytime.

If your guests are ok with cash then i think you'll be ok but there may be some who could struggle.

personally, i would be ok about it if money was alright but it may be hard for me if not.

if it's really what you want then go for it but dont be offended it some dont comply or have a moan. how about cocktail rather than blacktie as it's less ballgown and more wearable?

- forgot to add, that if you go for cocktail dress rather than black tie on your invites, you could run with the theme and provide a cocktail for each guest as their favour?

So as loads of peeps have pointed out its not the done thing before 6pm ... but i think its fab for a later wedding and was considering it for mine - accept my H2B said no as he idnt want to look like a waiter or like everyone else and wants to look like the groom ... fair enough ... anyway black tie is fairly easy for women as its just a fancy dress but for men a lot of people just dont own it so would need to buy or rent ... this would induce a lot of moaning in my house! my way around that is to hint a fancy dress code ... not sure of the wording yet, but (and this is terribly judgmental sorry all!) i always notice the guests at weddings that have not made an effort and wear inappropriate outfits ... and it irritates me! That being said i have no issue with people not buying new stuff ... i have a selection of about 5 outfits in my wardrobe that are wedding worthy and regualrly wear them ... occassionaly buying new accessories ... i was at one point going to a wedding most weekends in the summer!

Thank you all for your thoughts!

We certainly aren't considering black tie to look 'posher' in anyway, we simply like the way it looks and thought it would work nicely with our hollywood glamour theme. It will be dark by 4pm anyway so will feel a lot later than it is.

Our nearest and dearest all love the idea so I think we are definitely going to have black tie at some point...OH now leaning towards the evening idea so that he can have 2 outfits. So maybe him and the groomsmen can change and then optional for all other guests.

I think having it as an evening dress code is fine. However, I wonder if a slightly gentler request - Our theme is Hollywood Glamour. Red carpet finery is encouraged - you might get a better response. 'Black tie requested' is a no-no, 'Black tie encouraged' means people likely won't wear it - making it sounds fun might get a better response (because people will realise it's not a stuffy thing).

So where are your dayimt eguests going to get changed? Like a wedding isn't enough faff as a guest without taking a spare outfit?

What Sange said.

So you now want them to have two outfits? Where are they meant to put it? Are they going to have to carry it round all day? If i was a guest I would not appreciate more stress of having to change for the evening, buying an extra outfit, on top of everything else. Where are they going to get changed. I'm not sure you're thinking this through.

As I said...OH and groomsmen will change and then optional for other guests. Our friends and family all like the idea as they wouldn't normally wear this kind of thing. Our guests are staying at the venue and as its a long day there will be an opportunity for guests to 'freshen up' before the evening reception. Our venue also supplies 2 rooms for any non residential guests to use if they wish.

They don't have to buy 2 outfits nor do they have to get changed but if the groomsmen are changing and we say 'red carpet finery is encouraged' (great idea thank you FTLOMB) for our evening guests then it's only polite (i think) to let our day guests no so they can decide what they want to do.

Your day, your way.

We are in 2013 not the 19th century people just don't get changed at different parts of the day like they used to.

The biggest issue for me is dressing appropriately for your venue, is black tie appropriate attire for a church?

I had a black tie wedding my ceremony was at 3:00 with dinner at 5:00 evening reception at 7:00, I was not going to make my guests changed half way through the meal just for the sake of an hour ?

I'm going to a black tie / ball gown James Bond themed wedding next July! The couple are having their ceremony in a church followed by the reception at a gorgeous hotel. Personally I'm very excited about getting to wear a ball gown all day! It's a nice opportunity for me to wear one, as it not something I tend to wear very often! I haven't decided whether to buy one or to hire one for the day, either way I don't mind. As I am currently planning my own wedding and funds are already tight I think I'm going to hire a dress, but I honestly don't mind doing it!

This.

'Hollywood Glamour' would be enough of a dress code, I reckon. It gives people the opportunity to dress up, but also doesn't mean people *have* to hire BT if they don't already have it. And I think most people would get glammed up, given the chance!

If you want a black tie wedding, have a black tie wedding, don't cave to anyone else on here if your family and friends don't mind. In regards to your OP, I would advise 'black tie optional' precisely because if your guests don't own a tux or long gown, it is a big ask to have them buy or hire one.

As for for it not being the done ing before 6pm, how archaic is that? Who cares? People who own tuxedos and evening gowns will love the chance to wear them, and as it's 'optional' you aren't forcing them, but rather you're letting them know the level of formality to expect. People WANT to know how dressy or formal the event is going to be. Saying 'black tie optional' on the invitation lets them know your day will be glam.

I respect the opinions of a lot of the people who have said they would hate it, it shouldn't be done, but in the ev it's your wedding, and you're going to do what's best for you.