So I have gone from 3 BMs to 1. I gave the other 2 the boot. I have spent more than enough time trying to convince myself that their attitudes towards our wedding would change (bearing in mind I asked them almost 2yrs ago..) but no, still uninterested. Never hear from them, have contacted them and get ignored...Tonight I thought I would send them both a message on FB (I've sent texts and they never bothered affording me the courtesy of a reply) so, I looked down my friends list only to discover that they have both disappeared.
Now, to give you background. These 2 are OH's nieces. They are his eldest brother's children. We'll call OH's eldest Brother 'The Brother'. The Brother has a very pompous attitude, he's arrogant and thinks he is better than everyone else. He'll only speak to you if he sees fit. He has this 'high-flying job' that seems to mean more to him than his family. His wife, well, she's another story....She was overheard saying to someone once that if it wasn't for the money she wouldn't be there..... So, the nieces. I thought it would be nice to ask them if they wanted to be BMs, they have never done it before and I thought well why not, we're going to be family soon anyway. What I didn't bank on was the attitude that was adopted by them, how hindsight is such a wonderful thing. Had I realised how uninterested in the wedding they'd be, how little I'd hear from them and how many opportunities I would give them to redeem themselves I would never have bothered. I pondered for a good while about BMs before reaching a decision. I live 600 miles away from my best friend - who I would have had in a heart beat, but it's just not feasible as she has children of her own. I couldn't and wouldn't expect her to stop and drop everytime she was needed - which I explained to her and she was happy with. I'd drifted from a few people I was close to so they were immediately discounted... I have a few mates I would consider 'besties' but for some reason didn't fit, I just couldn't put my finger on it. So I thought about the 2 nieces, thought it would a nice gesture. Boy was I mistaken....At first it was all sweetness and fluff, then it went to nothing. No contact, nada, zip, zilch. I get the impression that they believe that I 'need' them. Yeh, I need them like I need a hole in my head! So, I went out and got the first niece her dress, she tried it on, was happy blah blah blah..... I didn't buy the second niece her dress right away as I was starting to recoil on my decision to have her because she was always 'out of reach.'
So about April this year I set about trying to reach her through FB, only to discover I had been removed. I told OH who was annoyed. He then spoke to The Brother to establish if the niece still wanted to be BM, he said 'of course she does, when you want her to do stuff, phone her' - which is all good and well if she'd answer the poxy thing! The Brother also went on to explain that she'd had some problems with FB and had to removed it, which was odd as she still had an account ? ..She re-added us and OH had a conversation with her on FB (as this seemed to be the only way to get hold of her, have you ever heard of a 14yr old being so uncontactable!?) He just asked her if she still wanted to go ahead with being a BM as we hadn't heard from her and got the disctinct impression that she no longer wanted to do it. The message that came back from her was all bullsh1t and fluff 'yehh of course I do 
)) xxx ' - that was about it. OH then said to her to get in touch with me as I had a few things I needed to talk to her about and help me with. She never got in touch.
Late July, I started getting text messages from The Brother's wife asking me when I'd be free to get coffee and buy the second niece's dress, which I thought was a bit forward and rude. I put it off for a week or 2 as I was still undecided about things. More texts came through from The Brother's wife 'any idea when you'll be free?? x' ..Again, I thought this was quite forward, so I put it off for another week. So by this stage we were into the first week of August and the dreaded meet was planned. So off into town we went. The second niece didn't even acknowledge us when she saw us, that pi$$ed me off right away. We had coffee and small talk then ventured to the shop to get the little madam her dress. Once everything was purchased they couldn't get away from us quick enough! The Brother's wife suddenly had an appointment that she needed to attend.....Cue a very hacked off ButterflyChild. I gave them the benefit of the doubt just in case the appointment thing was true.. I haven't heard from them since. I get the impression that they believe that now trhe dresses and shoes are bought it's a done deal. I spoke to OH a few weeks ago to tell him that I wanted to sell the dresses and shoes that I'd bought as I didn't see the point in chasing them anymore. He told me to think it over - which I did. I thought about it for a month and decided to give them one more chance. Tonight I went online to send them a message on FB to see how they were and when they'd be free to get lunch and a catch up. They have removed and blocked me and OH, I actually feel hurt. Very hurt. We have done nothing to them so fail to understand what the problem is. OH seems to think that The Brother's wife has been stirring, stirring what I don't know as there's nothing to stir as far as I am concerned. I have so many questions running through my mind right now, are they jealous? Do they not want to be BMs for me? Do they dislike me? Who has been talking about us? if they have been talking about us that is and if that is the case, what have they been saying? I am clueless. Are they really such a spineless family that no one could just say 'look, they have change their minds.' To which case I would have said fair enough. But to let me buy dresses and shoes that have cost me the best part of £300 then to treat us like this is disgraceful. It's bad enough that OH hasn't seen The Brother since having words with him about the second niece, now all this. I just really wish they could have been straight with us instead of taking the spineless 'take the hint' route.
Apologies for the long post, this has been wrecking my brains all evening to the point that I can't sleep...Anyone want to buy 2 BM dresses (still in their polythene bags with labels on) and 2 pairs of matching shoes, still with labels on?? ?
